Friday, 23 July 2010

Hairdresser's Girlfriend Maid PM.

PM Julian Willard pictured here with officials of The Amalgamated Rat and Affiliated Rat-Fraggers Union. [Julian's long-time companion is on the PM's shoulder.]

"It shows that a simple Marxist Socialist Forum President or humble frag-hag can achieve anything with the brutal support of the glorious peoples revolutionary committee!" said the PM's boyfriend, a very proud Leslie Beard. With the planned advent of same-old sex marriage, the First Couple plan to become the First Coupler's.

Noted for her sophisticated and profoundly stirring rhetorical skills, PM Willard stated: "My simpatico compadre the Minister for Global Warming and Global Socialism Suzie Wong, with her great profundity and her sublime almost opaque genius will be as it were, my bridesmaid revisited. Perhaps the French rather naturally and rightly so, would afford Suzie due homage and egalite' with the requisite sophisticate-enable' as they say, while I myself prefer the original German: "der embershlaushtingerbling zatz einer cruntsburn."] The Deputy PM and Treasurer Mr Potato Head will of course be the best man my government can assemble."

During the Prime Minister's policy speech on the threat of giant radio-active spiders, protesters who demanded the government immediately put in place firing squads for sceptics, conservatives, Christians and Jews could be heard chanting "Macho macho man! I wanna be a macho man now!"

The PM, dressed in a fabulous pinstripe suit with a smart red tie, matching waist-jacket and delightful flat-heeled very sensible shoes spoke of her love of riding a bike. "Leslie has always said I have a face made for cycling and that I actually have a Bicycle Jones! That's where you love bicycling so much you even sleep with a bicycle and one becomes in a sense, a bicycle! He is a dear."

The PM then spoke with enthusiasm of her "true love and biggest Jones" being her "beloved and wonderful socialist communism." Willard continued: "In fact I organised a glorious people's conference and wrote a pamphlet or two on "Being a Socialist Teacher". Oops, maybe I shouldn't mention it but then if I don't who will? Nobody."