Saturday, 27 August 2011

The Wonderful World of Satire, the Left and Hijacking.

The subscription death-spiral newspaper The Age, like most of the Australian media and fellow travellers, simply adore any Marxist leftist creep or Islamofascist nihilist and thus EU funded, mass murdering pedophile rapist frauds like Arafat say, and without serious er, caveat, cos' gee, he's a psychopathic gangster jihadist who well, "never gave up hope" in his brave "fight[s] against the Jews" an' all. Ah, Global Hope N'ChangeTM...Turn away "Jenna"! and while there is still er, a chance for redemption.

Dear “Jenna Price”:

I’ve been re-reading and enjoying more favourites from over the years of your sadly under-recognised and very clever parodies of the left from The Canberra Times. While I don’t get all the humour as quite frankly, I lack the sophistication and intelligence, and find some of it just too true and awful; your writing is nonetheless boldly brilliant satire. Oh, the layers of irony. Quite fantastical, but I guess it comes down to the central fictitious character of “Jenna Price” being so authentic, yet a wacky oft spooky parody of the left university trained journalist.

But then that’s why you are the successful satirist and I’m not, and you work for the outstanding Canberra Times and I never could. If only. Sigh.

On further examination, the character of “Jenna” comes over as a semi-decent person apparently offering disturbingly kind meals to “climate denialists”, and would be a rather pleasant neighbour I’d wager, as long as you didn’t mention anything too er, well, just don’t. But I have hope for “Jenna”, if only she could learn something true.

Matched with a few of the usual dissonant, casually horrible and laughable left views, that give a real one two punch of dark satirical laughs whenever the character of “Jenna” makes her odd logical fallacy sodden and confused socialist statements and in a broadsheet yet regards Israel, dissent from leftism and other things such as this:
“...I don't want that state [Israel] to be built on the corpses of another forgotten nation,..”
Wow! But ain’t the building codes in Israel pretty strict regards building “on corpses” an’ all? So pretty nonsensical laughs already! But then there are many affluent lefties who actually do say this kind of junk, which is beyond belief really but gives it the ring of believability. Yep, stop earning those 149 Nobel Prizes in every area of science, medicine, technology and the arts etc, and stop contributing so massively and positively to the modern world, Israel!

And this bitter classic was placed toward the end of your brilliant mock review as “Jenna”, of a rotten self-loathing book by the hideous and venally spoiled Hamass supporting Marxist leftist, Antony Lowenstein. And Antony doesn’t even suspect you’re having him on! What a poo-poo pants. How do you do it?

Hey, this is why you are successful where as I am not. Sigh. Pure genius.

In your recent column, perhaps you could have had the militant Green activist that dies so tragically young, as the first and only Green to criticise the Green’s eagerly criminal support and incitement of the global Islamic and Marxist BDS movement to destroy Israel? This could have been ironic if somewhat unbelievable regards leftoid activists, especially after your added flourish of a “kind” mention from the Stalinist atheist anti-Semite cum Jew-hater organiser du jour Lee Rhiannon, so I guess that too, rules out such a possibility.

But then like Islamisation, the natural logical end result of leftism is always mass destruction, limitless criminality, complete moral collapse, irrational nihilism and total ruin, just like that showcase of over half a century of leftarded socialism called Detroit. But I digress.

Another of “Jenna’s” hilarious columns that I won’t go into too much was on alleged “racism!” It ticked all the funny and stupid boxes such as the deliberately lame joke conceit of the title that “my daughter is a racist”, when it’s not racist if you like the race!

Hilarious stuff. And so was your satirising of the tired lefty tactic cum baseless accusation that Kevin Andrews is somehow a “racist!” Hey, who isn’t a “racist!?” Everyone not left apparently.

Are cats racist? It’s a thought.

And all for Kevin Andrew’s pointing out now entirely confirmed African crime facts. As “Jenna” you also exposed the phony lefty media accusation that Pauline Hanson is a “racist!” too, and always it’s without sighting a single racist quote, and then “Jenna” builds a preposterous “rapist, thieves” etc straw man joke cum argument, then tops it all off by insinuating an opportunistic and callous racism on the part of John Howard! Hey, outstanding ABC style filth and fun. Five stars.

So all in all a great little piece satirising how for the naturally racist left, their argument is almost entirely based on first accusing everyone and anything of racism. Go figure.

But what do I know about comedy? Compared to you, nothing!

Now about your following piece in The Canberra Times..[Curiously it no longer seems to be available on The Canberra Times site, yet rather ironically is still on the journalistically unemployable yet repellent Hamass liar Antony Lowenstein's blog. Go figure.]

In your wonderfully twerpy piece, “Jenna” seemingly lauds dirtbag Lowenstein and his usual hideous, nihilist Marxist Critical Theory sodden leftist activist tropes about Israel which again, proves your satire street cred.

Humbly, I’ve added my humble thoughts in the character of a “right wing maniac” or RWR for short. I happen to be hosting a “raving right-wing maniac” dinner party this Friday night, but I’m short of maniacs. To expand my list, could you name some names? It would be most appreciated.

“Mad world: daring to question the role of Israel. Canberra Times July 23rd, 2006. Jenna Price:

Jenna: “I can't write about Israel. It is way too hard.”

RWM: Hey, if writing honestly based on easily observable empirical facts, what lefty can? Especially the glaring truth about how the enormously progressive, prosperous, constructive, moral and contributing Israel is the only great, beautiful and decent democracy based on the rule of law and human rights in the Middle-East, and it is surrounded by twenty-four variants on rather dysfunctional, corrupt and evil terror supporting Islamofascist theocracy states.

Jenna: “In my family, I am alone in supporting Israel.”

RWM: Jesus, some family. I’d keep that to myself, “Jenna”. Sounds like a real laugh track. See, even I forget it’s all a fictitious satirical joke.

Jenna: “In my country, there would be few who would support Israel and its actions - and the others are all raving right-wing maniacs.”

RWM: Poor Jenna. She lives in Leftist Country! In my country, most everyone sane support Israel, thus they use computers and so many modern miracles without hypocrisy. Oh the irony is that every “raving right-wing maniac” I know including me, support Israel, and conversely virtually nobody of the Marxist sodden left does. They commonly hate any non-left Jew, conservative Australian or American etc. Go figure.

Jenna: “Well, when I say support, I think it should exist.”

RWM: This is very generous of you. So it’s one step up from Hamass then. Yes, existing, nothing but existing. Like say a rock or a plant. I love existing and yet it never seems somehow enough.

Jenna: “My husband and children all believe that it would make more sense to have Israel in, say, Poland. What's the point in being surrounded by enemies, they ask.”

RWM: Hey, maybe it would make more sense to have your family in Poland, except to the Polish. Or better yet, work at the ABC, SBS and The Age etc. You'll be surronded by friends of Hamass. Yes, what’s the point of running the entirely legal Max Brenner store in Melbourne Central surrounded by Marxist and Islamofascist enemies? Ah, that might be why management, the state government and the police are decently and courageously and legally working to stop swarming globally organised militant Marxist leftards and Muslim mobs of Jew-haters targeting any Jewish business just like the Nazi’s did.

Could be.

Jenna: “So I won't go into the whole thing about how for centuries, Jews felt as if they were surrounded by enemies, even in Europe. Israel was founded as a giant refugee camp, an idea to which most of us would be sympathetic.”

RWM: And here I was thinking Israel is a country with an almost 3,000 year-old history that Jewish people built into a sophisticated, great democratic miracle of positive moral and technological achievement contributing massively to the world. Gee, just shows how wrong you can be.

Jenna: “But right now I'm even more sympathetic to Lebanese families who are getting bombed to death, when they were just minding their own business and living family lives.”

RWM: Yes, quietly "minding thir own business" such as bomb making, customised beheading videos and generally supporting Islamic jihad. I think I get “Jenna’s” point though. Utter depravity without limits and women murdering Hizbollah dominated Lebanon intent on destroying Israel and murdering all Jews, good. Democratic, highly moral, free and prosperous Israel, the only Middle Eastern land of female freedom is ergo, bad.

Jenna: “Lebanon in summer is beautiful and I was delighted to hear that a young family friend was to visit Lebanon this month and get a crash course in Arabic.”

RWM: Yep, the crashing could be those 10,000 plus rockets landing in Israel. I hear the crash course in homicide suicide bombing martyrdom can be done in a single morning, especially for the mentally retarded. Sit in on any daily and hourly “Death to Israel!” mosque sermon, and there’s a crash course in Arabic right there.

Jenna: “He, of course, is trapped there and getting more than a crash course. It is no longer fashionable among assimilated Jews like myself to support the existence of the state of Israel, and if you do, you had better want it to be in pre-1967 borders or you lose your licence. Joking. In regular circles, however, Jews who criticise Israel are in big, big trouble.”

RWM: Nope, the fashionable and in-thing among much of the left and our betters is Jew-hatred. It’s authentic yet sad, sad satire, bub. Tony is actually trapped in the peculiarities of bog-standard leftist self-loathing Jewish suicide and treason. But hey, we all need a hobby.

In the above laugh filled mess, “Jenna” seems to dimly recognise that in the regular circles of normal land, the alleged “criticism of Israel” fraud meme is recognised as the Big Lie it clearly is. The only difference between the “anti-Zionist” and a Jew-hater, apart from craftily changing “Jewish” to “Zionist”, is that the anti-Zionist creep lacks the guts to admit that they’re just another slimy and Jew-hating fuck.

All criticism of Israel will only stop when Israel is annihilated. Then it’s the West’s turn to fall. But I digress.

Jenna: “Ask Antony Lowenstein.”

RWM: Let’s not. About anything, except when he’s finally leaving Australia to live permanently in Gaza or Cuba. Like any Che the child killer fan.. never of course. Affluent leftard brats just like to wear the tshirt.

Jenna: “He is the author of My Israel Question, soon to be published by Melbourne University Press. He grew up in a traditional Melbourne Jewish family, went to a conservative private boys' school and did honours in arts at Monash.”

RWM: Actually he is more likely as he relentlessly presents himself: a phony, rotten, treasonously congenital lying circus geek seemingly without a shred of decency. But I digress. Expensive private school and a comfortable, privileged upbringing, eh? And yet he turned out it appears to be a lying, loud mouthed nihilist and naturally shitbag leftard brat. Gee, what an effing surprise. Er, no.

Jenna: “But a few years ago, he started questioning the role of Israel in the Middle East.”

RWM: Yes, how brave...He must live in fear of dentists, accountants, neuro-surgeons, physicists and bespoke tailors. I guess Tony the phony means Israel’s role as a sanctuary in regards to Israel, gee, being the only advanced and free state in the entire area where homosexuals are not murdered in their thousands.

Jenna: “He started questioning his parents. And, they started questioning themselves. Now, they've changed their position - lost a few friends along the way - but accepted their son's view that maybe the Israeli way is not the right way. (In 1975, I remember helping a charming Palestinian boy screen print some anti-Zionist posters. My mother went off her head. The Lowenstein parents sound far more moderate.)"

RWM: Balls. Yes, so “moderate” meaning leftist ergo self-loathing and thus suicidal Jew, or repulsive white bread left Marxist Hamass supporter or an active Hamass, Al Aqsa, Hizbollah, Al Qaeda member. Got it. Yes, anti-Zionist posters…Charming. Again this is brilliant satire. Did Marx Antony ever ask his parent’s why they spent so much money on his worthless and treasonous hide?

Jenna: “Antony, 31, is an only child so maybe they get more sway with their doting parents, but his ability to change the way his parents thought might augur well for the success of his book. And I don't mean the kind of success where the book goes to number one (although I'm sure he'd like that too). The success we need is to bring, to Jews, the frustrating topic of Israel out into the open. To non-Jews, what Israel has done to recently rebuilt Beirut is a disgrace.”

RWM: Tony twerp is an “only child”. Ya don’t say. Yes, nihilist radicals all through history have wanted to “bring” something to the Jews. Usually a pogrom or variant. “..out in the open...” Not really the case is it, when the Muslim terrorist brings the bomb inside the Israeli bus and detonates.

Funny how much of the left and many millions of Muslims apparently feel virtually no need for any serious self-examination. Ah, but then they are good intention brimming Utopian and Caliphate dreamers and thus it’s always, well, ALWAYS the Jews fault. Or the West’s fault, or America, or Christians, or conservative “right wing maniacs” who believe in crazy ideas like respect for The Constitution, in limited government, low taxes, a respect for life and in personal responsibility. Madness.

And as for “a disgrace”, it’s hard to beat January 18th 2009 Marxist and Islamofascist Jew and free West hating festival in the CBD.

Jenna: “And if that was happening to any other country in the universe, Jews would feel the same way.”

RWM: There are no other countries in the universe. Planets yes, Islamofascist shitholes, no. There is no Workers paradise on Mars either. It’s on the moon.

Jenna: “It's raising that consciousness…”

RWM: Careful with that axe, Eugene. Your Marxist Critical Theory is showing.

Jenna: “ reflect what is happening in Lebanon which will be a challenge.”

RWM: That’s what beheading videos are for.

Jenna: “Why should Israel exist? For Jews, it was built as a haven and in our minds,”

RWM: In your er, “minds”. Quite. Funny, but all the great Israeli, Jewish inventions and products I use every day seem so real…

Jenna: “...continues as one, just in case there is another Holocaust.”

RWM: Here’s a great way to avoid “another Holocaust”: DON’T SUPPORT THE PEOPLE WHO WANT ONE, like say much of the left and their Hamass pals.

Jenna: “But I don't want that state to be built on the corpses of another forgotten nation,..”

RWM: Ah, again the “Jenna” money shot. This is so wonderfully repellent and eerily common among the left that it’s almost funny. That’s the thing with satire. Sometimes it works and sometimes I wish I could wake up and find it’s all a nightmare. And it is.

Jenna: “ Jews were forgotten during the Second World War.”

RWM: Ironically the reality of the existential threat the Jews face in relentless and permanent harsh reality is readily forgotten while it’s actually happening! And conversely as the Grand Mufti and Hitler, the Muslim Brotherhood, Qtub and the problematic ever present facts of Hizbollah, PLO and Hamass etc, etc, ad nauseum, are conveniently inverted and forgotten.

Jenna: “I know the Israel question. I wish I knew the answer.”

RWM: Here’s a question. If seventy-five percent of ‘Palestinians’ vote for Hamass who have declared a war of annihilation on Israel, can one expect less war or more and all the attendant consequences? Here’s another. Is it not true that in a single morning if they did not care about civilian casualties, the Israeli military could if they wanted to, carpet bomb Gaza and the West Bank and or any surrounding Islamic state out of existence? And yet they do not do this.

Conversely, what would any and all of the Muslim states do within the next 24 hours if they had that same power?

Hilariously, the entirely fictitious “Jenna” knows neither the questions nor comprehends the answers. As Ronald Reagan said: “It’s not that [left] liberals know nothing, it’s that they know so much that isn’t true.” But then, what do I know about satire? Nothing.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Morelandberg Council Celebrates Multicultism with Al Qaeda and Nazi Diversity.

General Von Schrager pictured here with Morelandberg City Council Diversity Officer Mrs Helga Gestapo, playfully wrestling over who is the more inclusive and sharia friendly. "I tell you, I'll host the Australian Union of Lebanese Gang Rapists!" insisted the ever cheerful Helga. Von Schrager responded in his light-hearted Prussian way that "Nein! I vill host der Baader Meinhoff Glee Club und zer Amalgamated Dubai und Sri Lankan Federation of Pedophile Imams! It'll be a gasser! Man, Islam's a scream! It's great for der kinder too!"

A phone call is made to Morelandberg City Council:

"Good Morning. Zis is General Von Schrager. May I say zat I salute your courageous council members voting to host der vonderful Al Qaeda franchise Hizb ut Tahrir Australian Local at Morelandberg Council premises last Sunday. If only more people ver so eager to include everyvun in our moving ever vorwerts. Of course you are right not to accept such extremists as Jews, conservatives, Christians und sceptics. Zat vould be madness!

And in zat very schpirit of multicultural diversity zat makes verboten any shallow moral judgement at Morelandberg, I look vorwart to our annual beer hall putsch-over vizzin your humble council gas-heated chambers of zer Class of '43 Old Panzergruppen Boys. Today Morelandberg, tommorrow zer world!

Shall ve say about 20:00 hours?"

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

PM Julian Willard Lunch Launches Enormous Christine Nixon Fat Cop Profile.

"Oh, the afternoon tea..." Ironically and for all her gravitass, Christine 'What Me Worry?' Nixon often found it difficult to connect down to earth, if at all. Now when such a vast flammable baseload carries an enormous amount of self-generated explosive gas and then attracts a terrifying set of charges, well, the destructive results are entirely predictable.

As PM Julian Willard butter toasted the Whitmanesque talents of Christine Nixon - author, the PM made a rare error in accidentally referring to Nixon's book 'Fat Cop' as "The Concise History of the Communist Socialist Forum".

Even these wonderful wrong words and chocolate eclairs, Savoy truffles and pineapple tarts were not enough as the free lunch-seeking whordes of journalists fell over gigantic piled sweet trays in a futile attempt at measuring and weighing the massive achievements of the maverick pioneer of guilt free eating, ex-Police Commissioner Christine ‘Let’s Eat!’ Nixon. While not all the Big Red One's stellar triumphs involve a humbly detailed bogography or Himalaya's of whipped cinnamon cream buns, Camembert cheese and or wheel barrows of mushroom rissotto - some involve an ever grateful proxy state of Victoria represented graciously by media hacks, political geeks and union creeps applauding her as one, minus one hundred and seventy three dead.

The courage and sacrifice was palpable as the last cement-mixer of Royal Chocolate Mousse Deluxe was scraped out and sucked down and the final semi-trailer of Petite Fours were consumed en masse and after every piece of the John Brumby Desalinated Union Sponge Spectacular was carried home in the back of many a utility truck and as Christine’s personal conveyor belt of Caramel Swirls finally fell silent, the reviews of the furniture shattering tome were in...

They proved that 'Fat Cop' was indeed a book and that if anything, it contained words, words that in turn brought up other words and often straight to the throat. Sadly, it did not contain the words "My God, I am so very, very sorry. I was and continue to be wrong about most everything", or "I just want to take my enormous bulky pension, crawl away to nowhere and never be heard from again".

Other words and whole sentences wonderfully missing from Chrissie's book about Nixit herself, and the many other great men and women in power who lead us to victory are - inadequate, unqualified, unfit, unable, incapable, unskilled, inept, maladroit, inexpert, awkward, floundering, clumsy, bungling, gauche, insufficient, ineffectual, Wayne Mr Potato Head Swan and inefficient.

Low, abject, contemptible, dead to honor, debased, degraded, derogatory, disgraceful, dishonorable, dereliction, disingenuous, disloyal, double, emptitious, faithless, false, fishy, ignominious, indign, infamous, inglorious, insidious, knavish, lost to shame, of bad faith, one, perfidious, perjured, pettifogging and shabby.

Slippery, the left are mostly Jew-haters and Hamass bedpals, Lee Rhiannon, sneaking, the classic grey Prince Valiant socialist frump hag bob, treacherous, Lee Rhiannon, trothless, trustless, truthless, unauthenticated, unbecoming, unbefitting, unbeseeming, unchivalric, unconscientious, unconscionable, undignified, unfair, unfaithful, Julia Gillard has the same comical body shape as New Zealand's native Kiwi bird, mediocrity, afflent university student graduates filled with an ironic hatred of capitalism, nausea, you fill me with inertia and untrustworthy.

Unintelligent, fatuous, irrational, cognitive dissonant, logical fallacy sodden, obtuse, bovine, dull, dense, lumpish, doltish, simple, simple-minded, moronic, imbecilic, cretinous, Boeotian, subnormal, feebleminded, Michael Leunig, weakminded, stolid, dullwitted, dim, dimwitted, halfwitted, thick, thickwitted and thickheaded.

Twit, twerp, clod, pinhead, fluffball, fucker, eternal student union crisis meeting, foolish, silly, frivolous, asinine, hare-brained, crazy, insane, mad, crack-brained, working-class militant union cripples, scatterbrained, absurd, inane, middle-class rabble, Sarah Hanson-Young, idiotic, ridiculous, risible, laughable, ludicrous, Christine Milne, nonsensical, senseless, bootless, irresponsible, irrational, ill-advised, Sarah Hanson-Young and foolhardy.

Insipid, dull, tedious, boring, tiresome, humdrum, prosaic, monotonous, unimaginative, uninspired, uninteresting, vapid, vacuous, Kevin Rudd and ho-hum. Style-free, jerk, putz, anti-Semite, Che the child killer Guevara tshirt wearer, asshat, badly groomed, drunk, drug addicts, perverts, pansies, militant parasite, flunkies, unread, incurious, laughable faux poetry, mediocre, uncool, fucked up, repulsive, Bob Ellis and carpetbagger.

Peek-a-boo, globular pyramid, mountain of cholesterol, Jenny Craig will need garage doors, where's the Chihuaha gone?, Tony Toby Jug' Jones is full of shit, Australian Bolshevik Circle, Q&A naturally treats the Green MP Rhiannon the Jew hating Marxist atheist with respect and insults any conservative or Christian and gee, there's not really a lot of Zionist Jews on the ABC is there.

The mother of all camel toes, do not wear spandex, any Jew hating two-faced Taquiyaa spouting Jihadist PR fraud is cool at the ABC, the Michael Moore All You Can Eat Smorgasboard, take my wife..POLICE!, The Age subscripton rate bankrupt this year or next, I blame the powerless and any newspaper that reports any unpleasant facts about me, if I had my time again I would have done things differently and instead ordered the mains Lasagna.

Drivel, bullshit, blame-shifting, censorious, unaccountable, unreachable, untouchable, cant, two-faced, logical fallacy, ad hominem, politically correct, socialist, Marxist Critical Theory, feminist, feminisation, leftist, crime wave, unread, favouritism, identity politics, sycophants, bedpals, ecofascism, bankrupt, sell-out, betrayal, death, injury, loss, heartbreak, total failure, environmentalism, nincompoop, newt, mega-liar, Bob Brown and control freak.

Obese, corpulent, stout, overweight, heavy, plump, rotund, portly, chubby, podgy, pudgy, tubby, fleshy, paunchy, flabby, oleaginous, unctuous, greasy, fatty, pinguid, sebaceous, roly-poly, adipose, pot-bellied, overfed, flabby, elephantine, broad in the beam, beamy and beefy.

Profitable, remunerative, cushy, affluent, well off, elitist faux royalty, creeping snob, Paul Keating and loaded.

Mushroom Rissotto. Pagan Gaia worship. Marxist front groups. Manipulation. Power. Money. Control. Lies. Burnt to death. Dead Australians. Bastards.