Friday, 23 July 2010

Hairdresser's Girlfriend Maid PM.

PM Julian Willard pictured here with officials of The Amalgamated Rat and Affiliated Rat-Fraggers Union. [Julian's long-time companion is on the PM's shoulder.]

"It shows that a simple Marxist Socialist Forum President or humble frag-hag can achieve anything with the brutal support of the glorious peoples revolutionary committee!" said the PM's boyfriend, a very proud Leslie Beard. With the planned advent of same-old sex marriage, the First Couple plan to become the First Coupler's.

Noted for her sophisticated and profoundly stirring rhetorical skills, PM Willard stated: "My simpatico compadre the Minister for Global Warming and Global Socialism Suzie Wong, with her great profundity and her sublime almost opaque genius will be as it were, my bridesmaid revisited. Perhaps the French rather naturally and rightly so, would afford Suzie due homage and egalite' with the requisite sophisticate-enable' as they say, while I myself prefer the original German: "der embershlaushtingerbling zatz einer cruntsburn."] The Deputy PM and Treasurer Mr Potato Head will of course be the best man my government can assemble."

During the Prime Minister's policy speech on the threat of giant radio-active spiders, protesters who demanded the government immediately put in place firing squads for sceptics, conservatives, Christians and Jews could be heard chanting "Macho macho man! I wanna be a macho man now!"

The PM, dressed in a fabulous pinstripe suit with a smart red tie, matching waist-jacket and delightful flat-heeled very sensible shoes spoke of her love of riding a bike. "Leslie has always said I have a face made for cycling and that I actually have a Bicycle Jones! That's where you love bicycling so much you even sleep with a bicycle and one becomes in a sense, a bicycle! He is a dear."

The PM then spoke with enthusiasm of her "true love and biggest Jones" being her "beloved and wonderful socialist communism." Willard continued: "In fact I organised a glorious people's conference and wrote a pamphlet or two on "Being a Socialist Teacher". Oops, maybe I shouldn't mention it but then if I don't who will? Nobody."


Terra Blee Sorrie said...

Hmmm, when when will the Red Tie Wearers learn...?

In the meantime, I found a rather cheekily accurate description of Muslims from the year 1842:

[Book: The Bible in Spain or the Journeys, Adventures and Imprisonments of an Englishman, in an Attempt to Circulate the Scriptures in the Peninsula by George Borrow, 1842]

In this quote, the author is in Tangier:

"The [British] consul soon asked me what I thought of the Moors and their country; I told him that what I had hitherto seen of both highly pleased me.

He said that were I to live amongst them ten years, as he had done, he believed I should entertain a very different opinion; that no people in the world were more false and cruel; that their government was one of the vilest description, with which it was next to an impossibility for any foreign power to hold amicable relations, as it invariably acted with bad faith, and set at nought the most solemn treaties.

That British property and interests were every day subjected to ruin and spoliation, and British subjects exposed to unheard-of vexations, without the slightest hope of redress being afforded, save recourse was had to force, the only argument to which the Moors were accessible.

He added, that towards the end of the preceding year an atrocious murder had been perpetrated in Tangier: a Genoese family of three individuals had perished, all of whom were British subjects, and entitled to the protection of the British flag. The murderers were known, and the principal one was even now in prison for the fact, yet all attempts to bring him to condign punishment had hitherto proved abortive, as he was a Moor, and his victims Christians.
Finally, he cautioned me not to take walks beyond the wall unaccompanied by a soldier, whom he offered to provide for me should I desire it, as otherwise I incurred great risk of being ill-treated by the Moors of the interior whom I might meet, or perhaps murdered,and he instanced the case of British officer who not long since had been murdered on the beach for no other reason than being a Nazarene, and appearing in a Nazarene dress."

Terra Blee Sorrie said...

Here's another interesting piece I ran across today:

A Christian of Lebanon:
Archbishop Ignace Moubarac Of Beirut, In 1947, On "The Two Homelands"
Beirut, 5 August 1947
Mr.JusticeSandstrom, Chairman, UNSCOP
....the Lebanon has always, even under the Ottoman yoke, kept itself out of the clutches of the other nations surrounding it and has succeeded in maintaining its tradition intact.
Palestine, on the other hand, the ideological centre of all Old and New Testament,has always been the victim of all the troubles and persecutions. From time mmemorial, anything with any historical significance has always been ransacked, plundered and mutilated. Temples and churches have been turned into mosques and the role of that eastern part of the Mediterranean has, not without reason, been reduced to nothing.
It is an incontestable historical fact that Palestine was the home of the Jew and of the first Christians. None of them was of Arab origin. By the brutal force of conquest they were forced to become converts to the Moslem religion, That is the origin of the Arabs in that country.....
The Holy Places, the temples, the Wailing Wall, the churches and the tombs of the prophets and saints, in short, all the relics of the two religions, are living symbols, which alone invalidate the statements now made by those who have little interest in making Palestine an Arab country. To include Palestine and the Lebanon within the group of Arab countries is to deny history and to destroy the social balance in the Near East.
These two countries, these two homelands[Lebanon and the Jewish National Home as a successor to Mandatory Palestine] have proved up till now that it is both useful and necessary for them to exist as separate and independent entities.
The Lebanon, first of all, has always been and will remain a sanctuary for all the persecuted Christians of the Middle East. ...The Lebanon and Palestine must continue to be the permanent home of minorities.
What has the role of the Jews been in Palestine? Considered from this angle, the Palestine of 1918 appears to us a barren country, poor, denuded of all resources, the least developed of all the Turkish vilayets. The Moslem-Arab colony there lived an the borderline of poverty. Jewish immigration began, colonies were formed and established, and in less than twenty years the country was transformed: agriculture flourished, large industries were established, wealth came to the country. The presence of such a well-developed and industrious nation, next to the Lebanon could not but contribute to the welfare of all - the Jew is a man of practical executive ability, the Lebanese is highly adaptable and, for that reason, their proximity could only servo to better the living conditions of the inhabitants.
From the cultural point of view these two nations may boast that they have as many cultured and intellectual people as all the other countries of the Near East put -, together. It is not fair that the LAW should be imposed by an ignorant majority desirous of imposing its will.
It would not be fair to allow a million advanced and educated human being to be the plaything of a few interested persons who happen to be at the head of affairs, who lead several million backward and unprogressive people and dictate the LAW as they please. ....

Terra Blee Sorrie said...
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Terra Blee Sorrie said...
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Colonel Robert Neville said...
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