Thursday, 31 July 2008

In the 9th Circle of Hell with the MSM, Obama, Mohammad and the mythical moderate Muslims.

Gore, what is he good for? Absolutely nothin! Say it again!

Ah, as they say sports, here are three easy pieces from the vast mountain of diametrically opposed empirical fact, that most of the MSM forget to er, mention to anyone. Dig. Awright Guv, anyfing for a larf, says I.

From get drunk and vote for Mccain.

"Putting Money Where Mouths Are: Media Donations Favor Dems 100-1 by William Tate. July 23 2008.

An analysis of federal records shows that the amount of money journalists contributed so far this election cycle favors Democrats by a 15:1 ratio over Republicans, with $225,563 going to Democrats, only $16,298 to Republicans.
Two-hundred thirty-five journalists donated to Democrats, just 20 gave to Republicans — a margin greater than 10-to-1. An even greater disparity, 20-to-1, exists between the number of journalists who donated to Barack Obama and John McCain.

Searches for other newsroom categories (reporters, correspondents, news editors, anchors, newspaper editors and publishers) produces 311 donors to Democrats to 30 donors to Republicans, a ratio of just over 10-to-1. In terms of money, $279,266 went to Dems, $20,709 to Republicans, a 14-to-1 ratio...

The contributions add up to $315,533 to Democrats and $22,656 to Republicans...

...the totals look like this: $315,533 to Democrats, $3,150 to Republicans (four individuals who donated to McCain).

Let me repeat: $315,533 to Democrats, $3,150 to Republicans — a ratio of 100-to-1. No bias there".

Colonel Neville: "And this is how we get the nuance in the media...Nope. Here's the have your cake and don't let the kids eat it, neo-Puritan Socialism of Obama, AKA Saint Nickleless. Hey, Obama allegedly doesn't give Christmas presents to his kids at er, Xmas. Oh, how er, fashionably anti-materialistic and weirdsville, baby. And cheap".

"By Alex Spillius in Washington.

Last Updated: 6:57PM BST 25 Jul 2008.

In a magazine interview Obama and his wife Michelle revealed that one of their steadfast house rules is not giving Christmas or birthday presents to Malia, 10, and Sasha, seven.

The couple explained that they spend "hundreds" on birthday slumber parties and want to "teach some limits". Santa Claus is still permitted to deliver seasonal gifts however.

Colonel Neville: "I caught hundreds of fish and they were thiiiis big! No, really! But they got away..."

The girls are also given an allowance of just $1 (50p) a week for performing household chores, according to People magazine. Those chores include making their own bed, setting and clearing the dinner table and putting themselves to bed by 8.30pm"

Tiny Tim: "God bless Uncle Obama and a Merry Xmas to one and all! Cough, cough! Hack! Gurk! Wheeze!"

"The London Times June 29 2001. Muslims say fresco must be destroyed. From Richard Owen in Rome.

Muslim leaders in Italy are demanding the removal or destruction of a priceless 15th century fresco in Bologna that they say offends Islam by showing the Prophet Muhammad being cast into the flames of Hell.

The row over The Last Judgment by Giovanni da Modena, in Bologna Cathedral, could threaten the already strained relations between the Roman Catholic Church and members of Italy’s Muslim community.

The recently established Union of Italian Muslims, [Colonel Neville: "They have great film nights!"] has written to the Pope and Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, the outspoken conservative Archbishop of Bologna, complaining that the fresco shows clearly Muhammad, the founder of Islam, among those condemned to burn in eternal flames".

Colonel Neville: "Merely depicting Mohammad's self-ordained reward and thus natural itinerary really. Ya gotta love a Cardinal actually called Biffi!"

"The protesters said that Giovanni da Modena had shown Muhammad being "thrown into hell, completely naked, with a snake wrapped around his body and a demon next to him about to torture him". They said that Muslims had never depicted Jesus or the Virgin Mary on the walls of a mosque.

In the letter they called for the "barbarous" fresco to be removed from the wall of the Bolognini chapel, inside the 14th-century cathedral of San Petronio.
Adel Smith, the head of the Union of Italian Muslims, appealed to the many thousands of Italian Muslim residents of Bologna to attend a rally outside the main mosque in Rome today".

Colonel Neville: "And everybody bring a plate please".

"Anti-Muslim feeling in northern Italy was inflamed last year when Cardinal Biffi claimed that a Muslim invasion was threatening the values of Christian Europe. He said that Muslim immigrants often failed to integrate into Italian society because they were determined to stick to their own ways. He urged the Government to encourage counter-immigration from Roman Catholic countries.

A spokesman for the Cardinal said yesterday that it was "absurd to suddenly discover after 600 years that our most famous treasure is offensive to the Islamic religion".

Colonel Neville: "Ah, but au contraire, nothing is ever absurd, illogical, unreasonable and dangerous enough for millions of Muslims worldwide from saying it, demanding it and acting on it. It defines their er, faith".

"There are half a million legally registered Muslims — many from North Africa — and about another 500,000 are thought to be living illegally in Italy".

Colonel Neville: "Ah sadly, the image of big and warm Italian families is long gone via neo-Socialist assisted population collapse. The Italians have few kids. That's unless one worships the peadophile rapist and bandit King, then it's 3.5 to 10 junior Jihadists.

There is some good news from the great culture that gave us almost everything though, and some of it is that there are Muslims who agree with real Italians and are thus perhaps Italians, if you can believe it. But that ain't it.

The sons of Roma have maybe finally regained their famous balls, and found their inner Frank Sinatra, and um, bulldozed a Mosque! And while throwing a bunch of Egyptian Islamists and assorted freaks out of the old country too! Islamists always like to give the free and open West an offer we apparently can't refuse. No, no. That will never do. Wrong way round, pally.

Now the kicker is that a park will be built in place of the Muslim laughing palace. And yet another will be named the Piazza Oriana Fallaci! The Saints be praised. I loved that courageous, great, passionate and real Italian woman Oriana, and obviously plenty of Italians do too. Nel blu de pinto de blu. Fallaci de..."

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Badly animated Dutch authorities arrest fun cartoonist.

Sid Vicious Junior, the last British rebel to holdout against the EU's [Eurabian Union's] total banning of free speech in the year 2000 and something. Your guess is as good as mine, Squire. Let the self-censorship begin! "I did it their waaaaay!"

“It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge”. Adolf Hitler.

”People are afraid, but when you laugh you are not afraid, and if you are not afraid, you are free”. Gregorius Nekschot, the recently arrested Dutch satirical cartoonist. Guess which religion ya get arrested for laughing at? Nope, it's not the Anglicans or Taoists!

Dig. There ‘s probably no need to control a lotta people at all really, if it can appear that a majority ain’t that curious about 'eff all really. Or a recent poll in Australia wouldn’t be able to say and even if it’s bogus, that over 90% believe the mass hysteria and scam of global warming. Go figure. If you can sell that worthless turd pie to even half the people, you can sell anything. Anything. Even the endgame of uber multicultism. Oh but it’s worth billions to the already pollutingly rich. Ironic, is it not?

“How fortunate for leaders that men do not think”. Adolf Hitler.

But then, an MSM largely made of Leftard hacks and governments, celebrities and assorted richelites that relentlessly promote such a big lie, will have some effect eventually. Oh yes they will.

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it”. Adolf Hitler.

Roy on Pajamas Media comments: “It is humorous that you can have a sense of humor and wit in the long as you don’t joke with Islam. Anything is ok to kid about or make a sarcastic comment...EXCEPT Islam.

It would be curious if I made up a MOlam, where men walked around women and told them to wear head coverings, treated women like cattle, and talked about killing anti-MOlam folks because they bother me. The creator of my new imaginary MOlam religion? Mosihammi, of course. Luckily in the Netherlands…one can still make up imaginary religions…or have they made that illegal as well?”

“He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future”. Adolf Hitler.

Colonel Neville: "Dear sports, there are some very interesting and swingin’ elements for what it’s worth, to this disturbing fiasco. The one that caught me was the revelation of a Dutch government section actually called “The Interdepartmental Working Group on Cartoons!” Ad I kid you not".

From Andrew Higgins: “Justice Minister Hirsch Ballin revealing the existence of a previously secret bureaucratic body, called the Interdepartmental Working Group on Cartoons. Officials later explained that the cartoon group had no censorship duties and had been set up after the 2006 Danish cartoon crisis to alert Dutch officials to any risks the Netherlands might face.

The group examined Mr. Nekschot's work, say officials, but played no part in his arrest. Headed by a senior bureaucrat from a national agency coordinating counterterrorism, it draws from the intelligence service, the interior minister, the prosecutor's office and various other government bodies”. Andrew Higgins.

Colonel Neville: "Think what this drivel means. While their country collapses, rots, implodes and is utterly demoralised by the logical end of Leftard multicultism, neoocialism and Islam, the authorities put a vigorous focus on a cartoonist. Yet Islamist loons in Holland can comfortably call for beheadings, murder and Jihad, and they just take another toke of a joint. Oh, and they also fund and utterly support the Islamisation of Holland. Gotta be great then".

Andrew Higgins: “Why Islam Is Unfunny for a Cartoonist. The arrest of a controversial Dutch cartoonist has set off a wave of protests. The case is raising questions for a changing Europe about free speech, religion and art. By Andrew Higgins July 12, 2008.

On a sunny May morning, six plainclothes police officers, two uniformed policemen and a trio of functionaries from the state prosecutor's office closed in on a small apartment in Amsterdam. Their quarry: a skinny Dutch cartoonist with a rude sense of humor. Informed that he was suspected of sketching offensive drawings of Muslims and other minorities, the Dutchman surrendered without a struggle.

"I never expected the Spanish Inquisition," recalls the cartoonist... A fan of ribald gags, he's a caustic foe of religion, particularly Islam. The Quran, crucifixion, sexual organs and goats are among his favourite motifs". Andrew Higgins.

Colonel Neville: "Gotta love those motifs!"

Andrew Higgins: "...He hasn't been charged with a crime, but the prosecutor's office says he's been under investigation for three years on suspicion that he violated a Dutch law that forbids discrimination on the basis of race, religion or sexual orientation”.

”All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach". Adolf Hitler.

Andrew Higgins: “...a shock to a country that sees itself as a bastion of tolerance, a tradition forged by grim memories of bloody conflict between Catholics and Protestants. The Netherlands sheltered Jews and other refugees from the Spanish Inquisition, and Calvinists fleeing persecution in France. Its thinkers helped nurture the 18th-century Enlightenment. Prostitutes, marijuana and pornography have been legal for decades”.

Colonel; Neville: “Another thang I dug, is that a Muslim creep made a lot of the complaints. So Islamist freaks in a Western Democracy are calling the er, shots so to speak and literally. That’s the end logic of PC multiculti Left liberalism, I’m afraid.

You do eventually disappear, as someone else naturally fills the vacuum of your inane self-abasement. This is because PC Leftoidism has no real core beyond the fashionable, ideological abstract and the self loathing.

Thus when seriously challenged by harsh facts as Holmes would say, it collapses like so much relativist and suicidal wet bread when it meets a stronger force, such as hey, Islam Murder Inc, or a wet kitten”.

Andrew Higgins: “The cartoonist blames his woes on what he calls Holland's "political correctness industry," a network of often state-funded organizations set up to protect Muslims and other minority groups. One of these, an Internet monitoring group known as MDI, says it received dozens of complaints about the cartoonist's mockery of Islam and first reported him to the prosecutor's office in 2005.

"We're not sure what he does is illegal, but there is a possibility that it is not legal," says the group's head, Niels van Tamelen.

Many of the complaints, he says, came from followers of a controversial Muslim convert called Abdul-Jabbar van de Ven.

Mr. Van de Ven caused an uproar after the 2004 murder of Mr. Van Gogh, when he seemed to welcome the killing on national TV. He said Mr. Wilders, the anti-immigrant legislator, also deserved to die, preferably from cancer. Mr. Nekschot, appalled by the outburst, caricatured the convert as a fatwa-spewing fanatic.

Mr. Van de Ven says he's glad to see Mr. Nekschot in trouble. The cartoonist deserves prosecution, he says, for "disgusting cartoons about our beloved prophet Muhammad, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him."

Politicians who cry about free speech, he says, "shouldn't stick their noses into judicial matters..."

"This is serious. It is about freedom of speech," says Mark Rutte, the leader of a center-right opposition party. Some of Mr. Nekschot's oeuvre is "really disgusting," he says, "but that is free speech”. Andrew Higgins:

Colonel Neville: “I beg to differ, Jim. The average PC boob lacks the objective logic to see the true connections in their er, offence. They confuse form with subject and thus content. They are simply upset at someone holding up a mirror to the plain and harsh facts. And this time it’s the untouchable subject for laughs of the beyond Pythonesque madness, contradictory crap and absurdity of Islam”.

“It is not truth that matters, but victory”. Adolf Hitler.

Andrew Higgins:“...His predicament reprises, with a curious twist, a drama that debuted in Denmark just over two years ago...

...has followed a very different script. This time the state has stepped in to rein in the artist rather than protect him, and it is secular champions of free speech who are angry.

"Denmark protects its cartoonists. We arrest them," says Geert Wilders, ...denunciations of the Quran as an Islamic version of Hitler's "Mein Kampf."

The arrested cartoonist, says Mr. Wilders, is "a bit obsessed" with Muslims and sex, but "it is not bad for artists to have a little obsession”. Andrew Higgins.

“The victor will never be asked if he told the truth”. Adolf Hitler.

Andrew Higgins:“Islam is Europe's fastest-growing religion, with immigrants from Muslim lands often rejecting a drift toward secularism in what used to be known as Christendom. About 6% of Holland's 16.3 million people are Muslims, and nearly half of Amsterdam's population is of foreign origin. Some predict the city could have a Muslim majority within a decade or so.

The contrasting Danish and Dutch responses "show that there is a serious struggle of ideas going on for the future of Europe," says Flemming Rose, a Danish newspaper editor who commissioned the drawings of Muhammad in Jyllands-Posten. At stake, he says, is whether democracy protects the right to offend or embraces religious taboos so that "citizens have a right not to be offended".

In Britain, a local police force got caught up recently in a flap over its use of a German shepherd puppy to promote an emergency hotline. A Muslim councilor, noting that dogs are viewed as unclean in Islam, complained that the puppy could turn off believers. The police force apologized and regretted not consulting its diversity officer.

In Switzerland, meanwhile, a bombastic anti-immigration political party is campaigning to ban all Muslim prayer towers, known as minarets. This week it gathered enough signatures to force a national referendum on the issue. The Swiss government says such a ban would violate freedom of religion and pose a security threat by provoking Muslims”. Andrew Higgins:

Colonel Neville: “Hey, always the threat of violence, eh? But er, they’re “bombastic?” Better than spastics with bombs, I say! Er, but can ya say that? Nope, if a Muslimkiller don’t get ya, your own government will! Welcome to a taste of the coming Hell, matey”.

Andrew Higgins: “Afshin Ellian, an Iranian-born history of law professor at Holland's Leiden University, says he fled Tehran to escape religious taboos and now worries that Europe is "importing problems from the Middle East." He understands why Muslims, Christians and other devout believers might take offense at certain cartoons, paintings or texts, but he calls it "a matter of aesthetics not criminal law”. From Andrew Higgins.

Colonel Neville: “Ooh, an anti-Jihadist Muslim intellectual! Does not fit Left paradigm! Arrest or no? Malfunction!”

“What do we do? Quick! PC confusion alert! I don’t understand! Warning Will Robinson! Warning!”
EU auto-discrimination detectorbot EU29/2008.

Andrew Higgins:“Mr. Nekschot, who calls the investigation "surreal," says, "Not even Monty Python could have come up with this." (His pen name, Gregorius Nekschot, is a mocking tribute to Gregory IX, a 13th-century pope who set up a Vatican department to hunt down and execute heretics. Nekschot means "shot in the neck" in Dutch.) Some Muslim groups have voiced dismay at his arrest as well. The head of an organization of Moroccan preachers in Holland said authorities seemed "more afraid" of offending Islam than Muslims.

"We are led by the law," says Franklin Wattimena, a spokesman for the Amsterdam Public Prosecutor's Office. He denies any attempt to squelch free speech and says locking Mr. Nekschot up overnight was probably a "mistake”.

If formally charged and taken to court, Mr. Nekschot risks up to two years in prison and a maximum fine of €16,750, or about $26,430, says his Amsterdam lawyer, Max Vermeij. He thinks the odds on his client being prosecuted are better than even but draws some comfort from recent Dutch court rulings in discrimination cases that mostly came down on the side of free speech.

Mr. Nekschot himself is very worried. "I'm afraid of getting a judge who doesn't have a sense of humor," he says.

...worried that his identity will get exposed if he goes to court. This, says the cartoonist, could make him a target for attack like Theo van Gogh...

Until his brush with the law, Mr. Nekschot was barely known outside a narrow circle of Internet-savvy aficionados. Newspapers shunned his caricatures. "They all said 'no way,' " he recalls. "They thought I was too offensive, too explicit and too strong on sensitive issues like religion."

Today, he's a cult phenomenon. Hits on his Web site went from a few thousand a day to over 100,000 a day when news of his arrest broke, he says. Newspapers that wanted nothing to do with him now print his work...and his work is currently on display in the Parliament building, where Mr. Rutte, the politician, has set up a "free-thinkers space”.

The case has also stirred much speculation in the media and Parliament about why an apparently dormant investigation first launched in 2005 suddenly became so urgent that Mr. Nekschot had to be snatched from his home without warning. The prosecutor's office says it simply took a long time to figure out Mr. Nekschot's true identity and then find him.

...his arrest suggests an attempt by authorities to soothe Muslims angry over the March release on the Internet of "Fitna"...

Officials deny any connection. The prosecutor's office notes that it has also taken action against Muslims suspected of discrimination. A Moroccan-born Dutchman was recently convicted of discrimination for writing in a blog that homosexuals should be tossed from rooftops and thrown down stairs. A court ordered him to do community-service work”. Andrew Higgins.

Colonel Neville: “Ooh, community service. Europe is saved from Islamisation! Er, nope”.

Mr. Nekschot makes no apologies for causing offense. "Harmless humor does not exist," he says. "I like strong stuff."

But, eager to stay out of prison, he's pruned his Web site of eight cartoons that prosecutors say are the focus of their investigation. Deleted were cartoons of a Muslim at the North Pole engaging in deviant sex, and of a black youth waving two pistols at a left-wing do-gooder wearing a peace sign.

Mr. Nekschot says everyone is entitled to their opinions. "If people say my cartoons are disgusting that is fine by me. I see lots of things I don't like. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Andrew Higgins.

Colonel Neville: "Sadly we're only entitled to someone elses shrivelled opinion now. Any deviation needs re-education. That's the smiley Left fascism for ya!".

Write to Andrew Higgins at

Article 19. UN International Declaration of Human Rights.

"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers".

Monday, 28 July 2008

President of Iran sees the image of Mohammad in a vomit bucket.

Inspired by the "Holy Chuck Soup" as it's now become known, the Iranian Minister for Raping School Girls spontaneously pays homage to the numerous historical examples of the Prophet.
Ahmadinejad: "I felt it myself. I felt that the atmosphere suddenly changed, and for those 27 or 28 minutes, all the leaders of the world did not blink. When I say they didn't move an eyelid, I'm not exaggerating. They were looking as if a hand was holding them there, and had just opened their eyes to the message of the Islamic Republic.

Oh, Allah, please facilitate Imam Mahdi's early return and make us one of his supporters!”

“Hassan! Come quickly! It’s a miracle!” shouted Iran’s President Armachimphead, [real name Roger Cumquat] to his long time companion and masseuse, Hassan the Imam. The reason for Roger's joy was that sometime after Sunday tiffin, the head Goon of Iran had allegedly discovered the face of the Prophet revealed in a simple throw pale. And it was a miracle typical of the region. In fact the Middle-East has more miracles per square kilometer than anywhere else on earth outside of the Highlands of New Guinea’s cannibal regions. From such wonders as the Koran being revealed in a humble cave to a lice-ridden child-rapist, to every invention and discovery being made exclusively by Muslims and incredibly before anyone else in history, past, present and future.

This includes the Chinese "stealing" all their ideas from Muslims, thousands of years before the founding of Islam according to the Iranian Science and Goat Cheese Minister Mr Abhoub Adoodle Dhou, because the wily Chinese Abhoub says,"knew Islam was coming". According to Hassan, [a highly respected child-killer like the President and his entire government] the President had found nestled among the carrots and sputum, the clear image of Mohammad. Mohammad, [last name Styrofoam] was the founder of Islam and the prime mover in making child rape a legitimate after hours pursuit.

Speaking to the independent Iranian state-run newspaper 'Armachimphead Is The Greatest Man In The World Daily', Armachimphead explained: “Last night when I partook of that extra bowl of camels snout, I could feel I was being guided by the Prophet! 'Eat of the camel and I shall reveal myself to you!' said a great voice!”

The President, or Chuckles as he is affectionately known for his spiritual banning of jokes with a punchline as un-Islamic, is more than the unqualified imbecile he is often called by critics. In fact, he's highly qualified. While Majoring in 'Kidnapping Kids 101' at Carlos the Jackal University, gaining an Advanced Diploma in Construction Crane Gay Lynching and while finishing his Masters in Sodomy, he was commonly known as the 'Persian Dough Boy'. The President is now an eager student of 'Goatism', a specialized course at the Tehran University and Torture Chamber of Theology and Applied Bestiality.

The discovery of Mohammad's face in the perk container has been screened continuously on Iranian TV for six months which is run by the Council Un-Islamic Neutralizing Television Station or CUINTS. CUINTS, known lovingly by locals as “living death on a screen”, broadcast what appears to be Mohammad's face floating half-submerged in the now holy bucket of intestinal swill. The eyes are two meat ball remnants while his nose is perhaps the religiously inspired piece of camel snout, and the mouth is made of what is most likely pizza crust, and the Prophet's beard is formed largely of phlegm.

Says Hassan: “Pilgrims have been rounded up all day and Allah willing, I can make a few rial a piece too!” Rial is the local currency and is unique among world monetary systems, being pegged to the value of actual wooden pegs.

The' loon in the spittoon' has been a sensation in Iran where people have been dancing in the streets in compulsory celebration. As one festive Burqa clad reveler stated: “This bucket of puke shows the superiority of Islam to everyone and everything that’s ever been anywhere! Even outer space! And especially the Jews, whom Allah has decreed can never have a superior bucket of Koranic hurl because they are descended from apes and pigs!”

Sadly, most of those doing compulsory dancing were later arrested and executed for said dancing. Many also had to pay a 'Frivolity Fine' before either being shot, hung and fined or all three. “No one can say that Iran is not a place of freedom of choice!” said Mohammad Mohammad Mohammad Mohammad Wilson, the Iranian Minister for the Eradication of Laughter, with a mischievous giggle. In a final light-hearted moment, the Minister and serial-rapist said with a twinkle in his one spinning eye, “Now we can say pieces of carrot be upon him!”

Saturday, 26 July 2008

Opening a dress by the Prime Sinister Mr Kevin Rudd.

While working as a Mandarin speaking diplomat and popular towel boy in Shanghai, Kevin Rudd, shown here in an official photo taken at a welcoming dinner and denunciation, [which for no coincidence whatsoever looks identical to Mao] was a natural at blending into the local Cultural Revolution. "Power comes out of the barrel of laughs", is one of Kevin's famous quotes.

[Dear sports, here’s a modified request of the week from Friday 12 October 2007.]

Kevin's speech in full to The Old Goebellians co-written with his half-brother Malcolm:

"Let me begin by saying cliche's and without any fear of clarity that this is a moment, even the moment and indeed if anyone can, let me say this quite clearly and at this point in time. I believe that this opportunity, in both the long-term and very recent tradition of what we have here today, will make it possible for all Australians to see the policies we have managed to avoid, not only through my own lack of judgement but that of my colleagues.

Instead, we have bravely opted for controlling every aspect of your lives while taxing you heavily to pay for it.

I know we all endorse none of these values fully as a community, and of course I accept without hesitation, none of the calls for my own resignation and subsequent suicide.

I can say that with non-partisanship, I can stand for absolutely anything, while drawing a responsible line at the substantial or permanent. Unless I'm spouting my enemies list of dissenters in my beyond belief Hitlerian style.

And in this spirit of welcome and neither forgetting nor remembering anything in particular, I feel as do many, regards an essential inclusiveness without any idea of what we actually stand for whatsoever and therefore, into a bright and even better future. This is really what my policies and the Australian Labour Party stands for. The U.N.

I believe that as the Leader of the U.N, er, the Labour Party, I have presented a fresh and smiling face, while underneath is the consistency and reliability that only a seething control freak can deliver.

I believe everyone from the very large, the economy sized or indeed at the cell level, now realises that due to the shelving we have put in place over the recent period of upstrangling and subsequent rigorous focusing, which have at times been difficult even while awake, means that we can now all share in the bounty of those who have actually made some productive effort.

In the same vein and following on from the latter, it’s quite clear that the direction of the non partisan and non judgemental has proven completely ineffective and can only get better. This has resulted in a more exciting, vibrant and diverse orthodoxy that promises to efficiently deliver an outcome and our own security and cultural disintegration. This I believe shows that we are almost at the end of the tunnel and if we all work together for a common goal, we will indeed. This only stands to reason, as many of you here and now are aware through no experience of my own.

It is for this reaason that I have strictly forbidden words like flawed, appalling, control freak or serial liar.

So, let me again reinforce my very strong position on completely changing my beliefs if indeed that’s fully acceptable in the current ethos of co-operation. The total loss of unnecessary confidence is fully endorsed by me and my Shadowy Cabinet, which is a great leap, yet only one leap of many towards our own and indeed the entire countries experimental something and should be applauded.

In closing, I believe deeply that if this is anything, it’s indeed something. And that’s something that I have never spoken about. I believe in not only planning for the past but learning from the sometimes hard lessons of the future, and in this way we can avoid the present.

Thank you and good luck". PM Kevin Rudd.

Friday, 25 July 2008

Derek And Clive Discuss Islam Expo Neglecting To Expose Itself.

One of the many interactive displays at IslamExpo 2008 in London. So remember folks, there's plenty for the kids, too!

[Thought crime warning!]

Derek: “Christ! I can’t stop sneezing Clive!”

Clive: “Here have a Koran”.

Derek: “Isn’t that blasphemy?”

Clive: “By all means, have a blast for me, Derek”.

Derek: “Braaaat!”

Clive: “What do you know about Islam, Derek, apart from it being a religion of peace and mayhem?”

Derek: “Well, that fucking Mohammad never gave me the horn at all”.

Clive: “Would it be fair to say that when you peruse the mighty and creepy works of the Prophet of Doom, you are sans horn, Derek?”

Derek: “Absolutely. They used to call me was Allah all the time! But what about this er, Islam balls, Clive?”

Clive: “Well, Derek. Islam as you know is nothing if not interactive. In fact even though the vast majority of the world does not give a shit about Islam or the incredibly stupid Koran, many Muslims are nonetheless relentlessly eager to make sure that we do notice them, ad nauseum.

Sadly, this is not done via positive achievement like ironically the Jews, but by nihilistic destruction, murder, lying, whining, bizarre blame shifting and moving fifteen people into a house in your street. This can only happen if you can’t afford to live somewhere else, unlike say the leading Leftard proponents of multiculturalism”.

Derek: “Islam, eh? Anything for a laugh! So did you go to Islam Exposes its knob?”

Clive: “Yes, I did Derek, and oddly Islam was not exposed at all. Exposed it was not. It was a Twilight Zone of alternate Islam. It was the only kind of Islam, the imaginary kind, that is now compulsory to believe in because the hideous truth of Islam really is out there”.

Derek: “What were the highlights, so to speak, Clive?”

Clive: “Well Derek, due to the bogus nature of said pseudo Islamfest, there was no Beheading Pavilion. And it’s a big draw card back in Gods Monkey House. Quite frankly, I can’t stand the blood and screaming, with George Galloway shouting endlessly that “this is an understandable reaction to the hegemony of the free West!”

Derek: “He does go on, like most arseholes”.

Clive: “George Give it away as you say, is a Socialist, and ergo an arsehole. I did venture to the Islam Expo Fun Zone! No, really, Derek. This would be a new experience as whenever I think of Islam, I surprisingly never think of fun. Do you?”

Derek: “Oddly I do, ever since I was forced to do that government Cultural Awareness Programming. The interrogator, er, class instructor, Comrade Kim, asked the class what we think of when he says Islam and we all instantly yelled “Fuck off!” and “Suck shit!”

Comrade Kim explained that whenever we express how we naturally feel as a direct result of our own experience, that this is always the wrong answer. Thus we had to be modified en masse. Comrade Kim knows the correct version of everything, like The Glorious Peoples Struggle of the Palestinians. Of course it was all for our own good, he said. Now whenever I hear the magic word Jihad, I shout “Fun!”, “...and loving it!”

Clive: “Jihad!”

Derek: “ Fuck off and suck shit you rag headed heathen bastards!”

Clive: “You appear to be cured of your nasty case of PC, the intellectual venereal disease of our time, Derek”.

Derek: “It’s a miracle!”

Clive: “It’s another massively typical failure of nationalised health, Derek. Sadly, the Islamic idea of fun mostly centres around killing Jews, beating women to death and hanging homosexuals from cranes. Though they did have Celebrity Jihad. This is where various Western boobs from academia, the media, entertainment, the government and a very successful madhouse, compete for the most stupid excuse for Islamic terror”.

Derek: “I imagine the competition is fierce, Clive?”

Clive: “It certainly is Derek, especially among the staff of SBS and the ABC. Michael Leunig said that they don’t want to kill us at all, we’re merely imagining it. He said this while masturbating over the entire Age editorial staff.

Derek: “I bet Andrew Jaspin’s got a lot of spunk, eh?”

Clive: “Most of it, Derek. Waleed Aly said the reason for the Islamic terror that doesn’t actually exist because it’s our fault entirely, and we’re just misunderstanding Islam anyway, is that though he has tried to be as fucking stupid as possible, it’s still not enough. Millions of Muslims worldwide are still offended by anything and everything, and are thus forced to blow up girl’s schools, have no choice but to detonate pet markets and can’t avoid driving over children with trucks. I couldn’t really follow the logic per se, but I felt much better after I viciously kneed Wally in the groin”.

Derek: “Who doesn’t? Did they have anything Islamic worth the price of admission?”

Clive: “It would be more accurate to say that everything was worth the price of exiting. I would have paid even double the entry fee to leave. There was the 'Be Mohammad for a Day' at the Interactive Doctrine of Permanent Warfare Pavillion. This is where you sit hallucinating in a paper mache cave covered in pretend lice, while any rubbish that comes into your head is jotted down by an illiterate goat sodomist. Of course they had to leave out the rape, paedophilia, mass murder and continent wide banditry due to budget restraints”.

Derek: “Oh really? Why is that, Clive?”

Clive: “Well, the sponsors of Islam Expo, Hamas Corp, has billions of Saudi petro dollars. But most of it goes on Jihad, explosives, promoting global Wahabism, hotels, prostitutes, drugs, booze, porn, child sex slaves, buy ups, take overs, building Mosques, the BBC, Taquiyaa, journalists, politicians, advertising and George Galloway”.

Derek: “Jesus, I never realised it was so easy to misunderstand Islam! It’s a funny old world, innit?”

Clive: “It’s Burqua town, Derek”.

Thursday, 24 July 2008

The Closer Your Destination.

"Excuse me! Yes, you down there with the can of petrol and machine gun. Look, we realise that you're one of the last people alive on earth and all, which is not in our environmental opinion a necessarily bad thing per se. But it's against the latest law to use oil for anything, or to be able to defend yourself.  So we will need to burn you at the stake as a heretic against our Earth God, I'm afraid. Sorry, but it's for your own good. Er, we do insist that you smile and applaud as we roast you alive, or there will also be a fine". Mathias the reasonable.

[This pointless post is dedicated to the great and groovy Kathy Shaidle at Five Feet of Fury.]

Cultural Awareness Training. [The Narcissistic Dialect by Dr Sanity.] Riiight. Er, that’s PC codespeak for “your thoughts are not yet the same compulsory thoughts as the governments and various relentless control freak activists and are therefore invalid and eventually illegal”. Dig. It’s a capital error to think that because the sum of human knowledge, understanding, rational explanation and morals even maybe has increased enormously, that this is naturally taken up by most people who are eager to know and understand and be moral an' all. You know, to undo the bonds of superstition, wishful thinking, nihilistic collectivism and pure cant, so to speak.

“Slip slidin' away.
Slip slidin 'away.
You know the nearer your destination,
The more you're slip slidin' away”.
Slip Slidin’ Away. Paul Simon.

Nope, how often do ya meet sporty chums who just have to know and understand more? I mean really curious? I gotta know the facts, man! Maybe they’re hiding. How long have we had libraries full of free books? And who used them mostly? Sad, lonely and pathetic nobodies, that’s who! In fact, the library was usually the best place to find me most anytime. “Man, I had to get outta the library! It was full of jocks swarming all over the French literature section!” Nah, the same kind of people play to the same kind of crowd mostly, and few turn up unannounced. And this is why after 100 years of the utter failure and murder of leftist ideology, millions of boobs are even more hot and bothered than ever for such bunk. Spend a month researching the history of socialist causes and the natural end results, and anybody without their head pushed deep into their lower bowel, would reject completely its innate insanity and bankrupt 100% failure rate.

As they say, for any liberal non-idea to be crushingly discredited, just wait long enough. Ah, but they have a classic Marxist sleight of argument hand excuse for that too, as Olavo De Carvalho shows in the groovy excerpt and link below. This is the long term non-answer to any direct question. A lefties first answer to any point is always instant subject change usually ad hominems. Wanna destroy and enrage a Luvvie? Keep them relentlessly on subject. They have a logical fallacy addiction. Thus they often diggest drugs the mostest. Here's Rodriguez with the very cool song Sugarman. "Sugarman, won't you help me? Cos' I'm tired of these scenes". Rodriguez. 
“Every time the left wants to impose a new item of their program, they say it is the only way to cure certain maladies. Invariably, when the proposition wins out, the maladies it proposed to eliminate become worse. The normal thing to do under such circumstances would be to lay the responsibility for the disaster on the left. But this never happens, for at once the original legitimizing argument disappears from the repertoire and is substituted by a new system of allegations, which celebrates failure as success or as a historical necessity that could not be avoided. 
No one will understand the first thing about the history of the 20th century, or the beginning of the 21st, if they do not know this retroactive justification mechanism by which the Left makes the people work for non-declared goals that would scandalize them if they knew their identity and that can only be reached through the indirect route of dangling the carrot in front of the donkey’s nose... 
The promise of salvation, transfigured into disaster and followed by a change in the discourse to legitimize it, has been, in sum, the constant and essential modus agendi of the international Left for a century, and we see no sign of any leftist mentor having any conscience problems with this. Au contraire, all of them continue to promise the solution to maladies, while having readied in their portfolios the future legitimization of the enlarged maladies”. The Left: Transfiguring the Disaster. Olavo De Carvalho via the very neato Brookes News.
The multi hat trick of the left is the taxpayer funded Emperor Gore fraud of global warming equals global socialism, with a peculiar death embrace of Islam and myriad forms of indoctrination via school, Obama and Kevin love etc, the mostly crap media, ever more legislation and cliched bias entertainment etc. The mechanical, absurd and future fantasies that never arrive except in the form of burden and disaster, appeal mostly to the passionately and emotionally immature and state cronyism. Attractive to those who sense they are not actually nice, generous, kind or thoughtful people at all, but are oh so desperate for everyone to believe that they are. Easier to look in the mirror that way, often for hours.

“I know a man,
He came from my hometown.
He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown.
He said "Delores, I live in fear, my love for you so overpowering I'm afraid that I will disappear”.
Slip Slidin' Away. Paul Simon.

Clive: “That’s the thing about your Left. They have a lot of feelings. If anything they feel. Feel all the time. Feel endlessly, endlessly they do. Sadly, they feel nothing for you. The great thing about feelings, it cuts out actually achieving anything, Derek”.

Derek: “Probably because I’m not fucking abstract enough. They’re all arseholes! If the left are such a good investment, what happened to my 100,000 shares of fucking Noam Chomsky?!”

Yeah, feelings. Emotions. If it feels good to you or better still, a vast horde of you, the numbers alone prove that it must be a great idea. And who wouldn’t want to share a joint smoke dream and get someone else to pay for it? It’s gotta work, because it never has before. For the left, a total lack of empirical proof or evidence of any kind is always evidence enough. And anyway, if it doesn’t work and millions die or live in misery, just don’t mention it and move on to something else and as soon as possible. When you’re of the left, your profoundly obscene flaws and monstrous stupidities are always someone else’s fault. And we know who: your parents. Or that perennial substitute for the lefts mother and father figures: a conservative government, any conservative government.

“And I know a woman,
Became a wife.
These are the very words she uses to describe her life.
She said "A good day ain't got no rain".
She said "A bad day is when I lie in bed and think of things that might have been".
Slip Slidin’ Away. Paul Simon.

Jesus, everything the left touches turns to a hideous shit joke. It’s the simple fact that their juvenile intent, divorced from adult reality, is all in the imagination, and not a very good one. They have such a willful eagerness to experiment with not just your kids but sometimes even their own. Yeah, Islam is a real hoot. Of course it is. No, really. No. Here Alan Colmes get's called a kike by a nice domestic killer Muslim. And this little classic: “The Hague, 09/04/08. A primary school in Amsterdam wished to provide its pupils with an understanding for other cultures. But during a visit to a mosque, the children were told they were dogs.

With a view to developing understanding and respect for other cultures among children, primary school De Horizon regularly organises outings to various religious organisations. The chairman of the El Mouchidine mosque told the children from group 7 (aged 10) and their chaperones however that non-Muslims are dogs”. Via Hotair. What’s wrong with teaching the infidel children they are “dogs,” huh? From Wolking’s World.

“And I know a father who had a son,
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he'd done.
He came a long way just to explain,
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping, then he turned around and headed home again”.
Slip Slidin’ Away. Paul Simon.

Here's a nice sum up of the real goals of millions and millions of Muslims worldwide and often in the West. Dig this, at least what they let us see. Via Wolking's World. And here's the great and prolific Phyllis Chessler on the endless willingness for many in the West to be lied to, nay, demand  and loving it. Via Pajamas Media. For such rhetoric prone chums the present is never any good and the past was mostly a big mistake, except for their er, parts. There is only one way to make things better and that’s their way. But it must be all at all once and now and someone else must always pay for it.

They usually despise healthy and real individuality while never seeming to consider any idea of Quality Control for themselves and their stupid ideas. Curiously, while always for the er, “people”, they also hate them if they show any said real individuality. Go figure. It’s an entirely nervous system based position, which is a curious thing for the detached to have. But then, I never said they were good feelings. Here's a perfect and common example of the radicals idea of er, judgement and the resultant behavior thereof.

“And God only knows,
And God makes his plan,
The information's unavailable to the mortal man.

We're workin' our jobs,
Collect our pay,
Believe were gliding down the highway,
When if fact we're slip slidin' away”.
Slip Slidin’ Away. Paul Simon.

It’s no coincidence that New Age drivel can be defined as people who believe absolutely anything and everything but the facts. And they also usually believe in global warming, Kevin 'It's me!' Rudd, Obama the fake and empty Manchurian Candidate and Al 'Gulf Stream Jet' Gore et al.

They also believe in restricting free speech though never theirs, especially of people who have taken diversity to the unacceptable extreme of simply disagreeing with them. Hey, and the same kind of freaks invariably want to change Australia into a faux Republic minus any First or Second Amendment guarantees against tyranny. Oh no, they prefer activist judges to decide in their opinion what freedom is, and how much we can have of it if any, and at any given moment. Yeah, and in Australia and Britain we're all disarmed. How convenient. And here in Oz, the inability to defend oneself seriously against tyranny at all, was achieved by an alleged Conservative Prime Minister in our John Howard. Howard is no fully formed conservative. Good grief he is not.

Here's Penn and Teller on the inherent greatness and humanity of the First Amendment. Whenever I listen to standard activist drool, I invariably think "you have to be kidding me!" Or gee, you "sure do make me sleepy with the things you might say". Nope, they ain’t. No construct is ever really stupid and unworkable enough for an academic and activist to reject. No, they save their hatreds for the proven, because after all, no evidence based, effective and useful reality can ever be as magnificent and exciting, as their often literal smoke and ego dreams of moral vanity. And anyone or anything can become an enemy, even plastic bags. Oddly though the Left almost invariably makes an exception for any actual enemy.

An old Spike Milligan routine:

Sentry: "Who goes there? Friend or foe?"

Approaching soldier: "Adolf bleeding Hitler!"

Sentry: "Pass, friend".

Just as the Soviet product of political correctness cripples and destroys everything it touches, especially the mind, so it will be here and now with whatever is the latest menu of disaster and fiasco a la lefto. Such irrational, hysterical unstable boobs will finish us all in the end, but don’t worry. When we’re reduced to eating bugs and berries and living under leaves, some socialist narcissist nitwit will appear with a brilliant ‘new’ plan to tax and redistribute the value of your Planet of the Apes styled loin cloth. They sicken me.

"Slip slidin' away.
Slip slidin' away.
You know the nearer your destination,
The more you're slip slidin' away.
Slip Slidin’ Away. Paul Simon.

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Wuz inna name, Bub?

Support the return of Le Hammer of Toures! [Hammers! Only $29.95 at Hinesville Hardware, just outside Atlanta!]Few ordinary people know "Islamophobia" is a neologism propaganda device, coined by a Muslim Brotherhood terror front involved in the Holy Land terror funding charity raids made by the FBI. [See Robert Spencer at jihadwatch org.] So by default, anyone who uses the fraudulent term of "Islamaphobia", is complicit in spreading Muslim Brotherhood propaganda and if they do so knowingly, [as many do] they are committing an act of treason and conspiracy. The MB are THE foundational organization for ALL Islamic Sharia jihad terror.

A guy, a commenter, asked for some more humorous Islamic Arab names on a YouTube post showing Robert De Niro as a clueless government official [oddly redundant] - where Bob is reading out a list of wanted Islamist terrorists. Sadly, the satirical conceit is that were all sent in by college students and De Niro playing it bereft is of course totally clueless too, and reads them all out straight faced. How he did, I don't know. Now that's real acting.

Shocking, eh? Nope. So I wrote these daft names and phrases [scroll further down] regards the joy of Islam and in a similar "jugular vein". Satirizing and ridiculing names from long before Python and The Goons is a big part of the history of humor, don't cha know.

“Shocking and provocative words". Derek and Clive.

Er, no. But I did have to stop at some point though. I just had to, Mister! This shows what a "...terrible influence Hollywood can be".

The current fun state of the bogus media and largely confused, easily and eager to be duped authorities, means we are unable to mutually declare a clear, urgent and effective war on Islam even though it has declared war on us every day for 1400 years. And thus all we ordinary plebes and nobodies really have left, is the exposing weapons of humor, satire and ridicule. So we have nothing really.

"Ah, yes. the power of satire that did so much to stop the rise of Hitler..." Peter Cook.

Hey, "Islamophobia, meaning an irrational fear of Islam". Well, it's entirely irrational to not fear Islam. Islamophobia is the same as Naziphobia, an irrational fear of Nazism.

Or deathaphobia, or freakaphobia, or beheadingaphobia, or Improvised Explosive Deviceaphobia, or hijackaphobia, or Islamicbullshitaphobia, or a massive mosque and Islamic school inyourneighbourhoodaphobia etc.

The problem is not ours my dear, whatever the current dhimmi, taqiyaa and blatant logical fallacy pressure. It's a problem for Islam and Muslims I'm afraid. Sadly a few too many apparently want to kill us all.

Curiously, we know rather instinctively that Islam is dangerous, don't we? There's always a latent threat with it. You and I know that we can pretty much laugh at every other religion ad nauseum, and nothing much to zero will ever happen as a consequence. Nothing that we can't simply ignore.

If this was not so, and it is very much is so, Dave Allen would have been knocked off in his first season by two old ladies dropping a life size Virgin Mary on him. Peter Sellers assassination would have been called for by millions of Hindu’s after he made The Party, and Richard Gere would have been beaten to death, by enraged Buddhist monks with a rolled up rice paper scroll for his sheer smug Hollywood posturing, appalling vanity and his movies.

Nothing coming from outside of reality, which is where it usually emanates from, will ever convince me otherwise that I'm merely mistaken, and Islam is really actually quite nice, that Mohammad was a lovely fella and the Koran is a delightful bedtime snuggly buggly little read for the children. It ain't, unless the kids like true horror stories straight from the mouth of madness. And inside of reality, Islam is empirically and has always been a uniquely relentless vision on a good day of well, hell.

Moderate Islam? Moderate meaning "without ideology and willing to compromise?". No such thing, dear innocent children. It just means you ain't a Mohammad identical, Koran perfect Muslim whose first duty is to fully embrace Islam's beautiful message of love, peace and mayhem.

Like Rodriguez, who believed in Cold Fact, "I wonder, wonder I do", how long can a turd pie be sold as cherry? Maybe as long as the mainstream media model can last, which may not be long. So won't cha' hurry up and die, MSM boobs? And the “hate speech” canard. Yep, while I'm not a hater per se, if anything is possible to hate, Islam would be it. And precisely as stated by Yossarian in Catch 22:

Yossarian: “They’re trying to kill me!”

Psychiatrist: “They’re not trying to kill you!"

Yossarian: “Then why are they shooting at me?”

Apparently it’s now verboten to hate some things, even a mere idea like the fully armed doctrine of Islam. I’m sorry, but Islam sucks big time and I care little who knows it. So uh, deal with it I suppose.
“Islam! I’m loving it!” 

Hey, if you can figure out all these satirical names and phrases or even be bothered to, you deserve some kind of citation and professional help. I couldn't remember them all first off, and I wrote 'em. Go figure. Reading them phonetically, whilst emphasizing each syllable helps. No, it does, really. Maybe not. It’s more of a laugh if you use a ruler to cover the answers and try to figure them out. It’s even more fun to not even bother coming to this shabby blog.

And remember what Bill Shakespeare said: "An Islamist loon by any other name will still kill you". Ah, Bill 'Master D' Shakespeare. Dig swingin' hepcats.

Wuz inna name, bub?

Ibin Bahmpin Mahsista.
(In my oppressive basket case we can’t meet girls normally. I believe that this has lead to me being far too close to my siblings)

Bin Hubya Ali.
(I’ve been up your alley. I think it’s the lack of any normal dating thing again)

Fahik Azza Barihk.
(The uncomprehending nature of many people in dysfunctional Islamic societies never ceases to amaze. The phrase thick as a brick does come to mind)

Daharda Zabedda.
(The harsher the social mentality and environment the better, seems to be the Islamist cultural dictum)

Douhbi Awnutt Tebi.
(To be or not to be. I guess the explosive belt means that you’re more in the negative nay-sayers group then, eh?)

Zatis Zaqush Dahun.
(That is the question. Probing questions are something we Krazy Koran Islamists avoid er, religiously)

Wahitz Anu Bahussi Kahat.
(What’s new, pussycat? Not much since the 7th Century, sport)

Mohammad Waiz Akeedi Fahidlah.
(Mohammad was a kiddie fiddler)

Hewaz Anaht.
(He was a nut so naturally I arranged for him to marry my daughter)

Ahnda Rah Pahist.
(And a rapist, so a bonus)

Ahnda Paou Paou Fahiz.
(And a poo poo face)

Lahif Izbutt Adareem.
(Life is but the dream of a global Caliphate)

Shah Bhoum Shah Bhoum.
(We really do enjoy murdering as many people of all ages, nationalities, religions and creeds as possible with Improvised Explosive Devices)

Akeeld Madorduz Fahallah.
(I killed my daughters for Allah because of Islam’s innate hatred of females because they represent life, hope and the natural flow of things. While oppression, murder, total power, banditry and lies are Mohammad’s only real messages and examples, and all you need to know about the true face of Islam)

Awahna Skareem Karazishahit.
(I want to scream crazy shit and I do mean, all the damn time)

Zalafs Aouhnyu.
(The laughs on you and yet Islamists have zero sense of humour. Go figure)

Zaleft Haiz Khan Nektid Wahiz Islam.
(The Left has connected with Islam as not so strange bedfellows, as narcissistic nihilist fantasists and control freaks often do)

Zah Koraniz Karouhd Turghid Shahit.
(The Koran is quite unreadable in a crude and turgid sense. It’s an insane tract of violence, murder and oppression with absolutely zero to offer anyone in the free and awesomely successful West)

Aghet Madabhout Taiddibahz.
(I get mad about teddy bears. In fact I get into insane rages about most things that make life worth living. The things that offend many millions of Muslims across the world can be narrowed down to everything and nothing)

Ahmet Aman Houwazzin Zahir.
(I met a man who wasn’t there, much like the non-achievements of Islam. Or the relentless delusions and the manufacturing of enemies and conspiracy, that Islam requires for its momentum and alleged legitimacy)

Ahmet Zatman Aghen Doudai.
(I met that man again today. Hallucinatin’ like Mohammad in a cave, eh? Yep, you’re nuts!)

Awah Ishzatman Waouhd Sihd Dahouhn.
(I wish that man would sit down or I’ll keel heem!)

Akhan Saiza Fahilhm.
(I can’t see this Palestinian Childrens Television Network film of a beheading)

Zisiz Zah Faheelfa Islam.
(This is, as Christopher Hitchens has said very accurately, “the filth of Islam”)

Yubormi Shahitlas.
(You bore me shitless and that’s on a good day. Please, no prayer chants. I’ll even pay you to stop)

Mohammad Yamutha.
(Mo hammered your Mother and anything else with a heartbeat)

Barudha Khan Yuhb Sahberadahim.
(Buddy, can you spare a dime? Or a few billion petro dollars for the local Madrassa junior Jihadist madhouse?)

Hiaz Lahu Khan Attayu Kahlid.
(Here’s lookin’ at you kid and hopefully from a vast distance or a B52 loaded with pig blood)

Grabhul Baida Wazoo.
(Grab the bull by the wazoo and that’s another Saturday night in another 'Stan)

Iziz Wahda Shavit.
(Is this where I shove it, oh Grand Mufi?)

Ishtah Haoub Id Khan.
(Is a stupid so and so)

Abhoubiz Sheiks Abakini.
(Yep, they do)

Ben Dawoud Inyah Azz.

Azooz Da Ahnimahl Howiz.
(A zoo is an animal house and the Middle-East is God’s Monkey House)

Osama Bin Laden Fahdinnah.
(You’re late for din dins again, Osama!)

Samah Bin Laden Furti.
(You’re late for tea too!)

Osama Bin Laden Atrahk.
(Hey, we’ve been loading a truck with explosives to blow up the girls school!)

Sahma Inbahred.
(It’s now compulsory for the majority of any Loya Jigah, Saudi Council, Syrian authority, Iranian Theocracy, Local or National Mosque Leadership and so on, to be made up of perhaps misrepresentative, inbred and stunted sub-cretins who would be dangerous losers in any successful and normal society)

Rahb Mashaft Tayabhoub.
(I’ve had both your husband and your entire family executed on phony morality and spying charges)

Yahoul Iz Rhadi Fareemin.
(Is there a Proctologist in the house?)

Dis Bahoots Iz Mahid Fahwakin. Anzats Jahuz Waht Dihaldaou.
(These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do)

Wahhat Izdez.
(What is this? A rocket launcher?)

Wahak Mahdou Da.
(Show me the pleasures of the Infidel girly bar before I have to return to Saudi Arabia to live with my Mother and blind crippled Uncle)

Fahill Yabhoum Wid Bif.
(I am the local Imam)

Y’Khan Taful Amezz.
(I believe that you need to either improve your personal hygiene or avoid Lebanese rape gangs)

Anahl Saheeks Iz Bhaghari.
(Anal sex with a castrated boy is the will of Allah)

Fahkin Khan.
(Hey, that Imran Khan is a wonderful fellow, isn’t he? And so intelligent and rational too. Er, no)

Naiz Babhoul Assiz.
(Nice bubble asses on those donkeys)

Iz Arouhni Rahk Enrahl. Bahit Alahkit Lahkit. Yussah Douh.
(It’s only Rock n’ Roll but I hate all musical expression)

Allah Kahitadouh.
(I like it I do)

Wahkin Madik Ali Tahim.
(I have taken up a hobby)

Ahad Ben Zahdreen.
(I had some Jihad fuel)

Ai shahid Mabed.
(Eastern food disagrees with me)

Mashitsah Fahill Feeshahits.
(My sheets are ruined)

Fatina Yareema.
(Hey, don't tell my wife we do this. She'll think I'm gay. I'm a Jihadist after all)

Zahiba Didouh Dah.
(I feel the Koran lacks a certain light hearted and carefree touch)

Samouk Arifah.
(I don’t partake myself, but you really need some kind of medication, any kind)

Isarfid Furmiuhd. Nawidz Tahmfur Yudtusarfir Mayuhd.
(I suffered for my art, now it’s time for you to suffer for my art)

Hawizdat Furafahd.
(How is that for art?)

Izbn Ariel Drahg.
(It’s been a real drag)

Wahda Bahma.
(Oh dear, it’s another fucked in the head and alleged Islamist "spiritual leader" on the MSM)

Haouhdatz Atta Madouhr.
(Whose that at my door? I think it’s the Iranian Morality Police. Yippee!)

Atta Gaouhd Shahit.
(I see what you mean, brother)

Iwadin Furdamahn.
(I’m waitin’ for ‘The Man’ to arrest me for laughing)

Ibin Fahdin Sinz Cairo.
(I’ll never eat at Ali’s again)

Ali Sahma Ibin Wahkin Mapuhd.
(All Summer the surf has been foamin’ and totally tubular!)

Alliz Fahkt Hup.
(I’m a 35 year old man and I can’t relate to women on any healthy and mature level though I do enjoy beating them and joining in a nice ‘honour’ killing on a Saturday night)

Alouhf Bahbahrah Iz.
(I think I love Barbra Streisand!)

Mamouhd Izghay.
(I love what you've done with the carpets!)

Waihl Hah Lodarli.
(Well hello blow up Dolly)

Samouhk Aounda Wahta.
(Smoke on the water, a hookah in a sty)

Ahfiahl Bahrihti.
(I feel pretty, oh so pretty and shitty and gray)

Ouda Dasuez Islam.
(Out of the sewers and a cave came the monster of Islam)

Hiadah Dah Mezzuen Afihal Suez Sahidhal.
(Whenever I Hear the Mezzuen call to prayer, I feel suicidal at best)

Wahit Awahn Darfoulh Wahild.
(What a wonderful world is the Gaza Strip)

Sahim Bahadhi Stahoub Mabahk.
(Somebody stabbed me in the back in that old fashioned Arab way. And it’s makin’ a comeback!)

Ayudah Sharif Farum Atta Taouhn.
(Are you the new Omar Sharrif in town?)

Duzshaheet Onmashaouz.
(I seem to have stepped on some dog excrement)

Youza Wahn Fahkin Mamuddah.
(You want to have sexual relations with my Mother?)

Jahuz Chaheel Baruzza.
(Just chill, brother)

Yamadduz Adaouhd.
(Your Mother’s a dude)

Daouhd Wahiks Lahik Alahdi.
(Dude walks like a lady)

Alladin Mohammad.
(Mohammad is tryin' sonmethin' new!)

Ben Amouzalhim Izza Bahma.
(Being a Muslim is a bummer, dude)

Izzas Gaouhd Azit Sahims.
(Is as good as it seems and that ain't saying much)

Wazza Mahda Wahit Mohammad.
(What’s the matter with Mohammad? Fresh lice outbreak?)

Haiz Amahd Fahrihk.
(He’s a mad freak, so it's cool)

Ramzi Naouh Bin.
(Ram the knob in and I'll put some tea on)

Saladin Mashaftin Yahaz.
(Brace yourself!)

Aya Shah Zisiz Bahdah.
(Are you sure this is butter?)

Fatimstah Widah Hahdahat.
(Fat Teamster with a hardhat)

Balil Kalimdan Zarkhumstan.
(Clinton has ruined my dress)

Shah Dafahk Ahub.
(Please desist with your mindless rantings)

Yushaht Yakahik Haoul.
(You shut your cake hole)

Yuiz Amahdda Fahikir.
(We have opposing views)

Mabohdi Oudirh Iz Salamin.
(My body odour is slammin’.)

Wahitz Indabagdad.
(What’s in the bag, Dad? Explosives or a knife?)

Aldiz Gahoulz Arafat.
(All these girls are fat)

Izzahr Salim Gahoulz Tafhuk.
(Is there some slim girls to date?)

Masalit Izza Shahvid.
(I keep it trimmed!)

Mahass Iz Wahaks Sid.
(My ass is waxed)

Ayiza Hama Frahdahayit.
(I am a hermaphrodite)

Samah Muslimas Sahik Pervez.
(Proportionately, Islam breeds a lot of headcases)

Mawahf Izza Babhoun.
(My wife is a baboon which makes her a little more sophisticated than me)

Makidz Afrihks.
(My kids are freaks. I think it’s the public hangings from construction cranes as family entertainment))

Islam Sahiks Lahik Amuzzah.
(Islam sucks like a Mother)

Monday, 21 July 2008

Spot the smiley fascism!

"Hey, come on, man! It's not just Islam that does this! All religions are just as bad! Especially the Anglicans!" A. Boob.

No, really... Yeah, like only last week, a couple of Seventh Day Adventist old ladies came around with copies of 'The Watchtower Magazine' lifted those from a Jehovah's Witness no doubt, and said, "Have you heard the good news?"

Colonel Neville: "No, what is it?"

Old fruit cake nibblers: "We've got assault rifles!"

If it wasn't for the Smith & Wesson M76 sub machine gun I keep in the umbrella stand, they would have got me. I hit the one with the Zimmerframe and I'm pretty sure I winged the other with the hump, but she limped away.

"As he was carted off in a police wagon the funny side of Section 132 of SOCPA seemed to go with him. The crowds seemed unsettled, too. Their laughter gave way to bewilderment and shock. If only the architects of SOCPA and all the MPs who voted for it in parliament had been on hand to explain to us all why there was nothing sinister about a man dressed as Charlie Chaplin being arrested outside Downing Street for carrying a sign that said “NOT ALOUD”. Goodbye Magna Carta by Dan Kiernan.

Dear sports, read the following three paragraphs of law and choose the one that starts in cynicism and control freakery and can only end in smiley faced fascism. But don’t worry...that’s not until next week!

Article 19. United Nations Declaration of Human Rights. 1948.

"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers".

The Constitution of the United States of America. Amendment 1. Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances".

The Racial and Religious Vilification Law 2001. Australia via Premier Steve Bracks.

"...person must not, on the ground of the religious belief or activity of another person or class of persons, engage in conduct that incites hatred against, serious contempt for, or revulsion or severe ridicule of, that other person or class of persons”.

The Magna Carta. England 1215.

“No freeman shall be taken, imprisoned . . . or in any other way destroyed . . . except by the lawful judgment of his peers, or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to none will we deny or delay, right or justice".

Colonel Neville: "Congratulations! It's Australia's legislation for smiley fascism! You've won the trip to Barbados and a set of matching luggage!

Er, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't exactly rely on support from the UN, unless you're a local child prostitution ring. So as you can clearly see, the only country I can think of with authentic freedom of speech protected by a great Constitution, is the United States. And if that ever goes, ya better head for the High Sierra's, or similiar, mate.

As Nilk said, check out 2.9, but they all stink of smiley fascism. Oh yes they do".

Excerpt: “...English law has not accorded free speech the status of a `primary right' which takes precedence over potentially conflicting rights and interests (see Kentridge 1996; Barendt 1989).

Rather it has to be weighed against other considerations, such as the right to a fair trial, respect for confidences, and the protection of reputation. When striking the balance, English law has traditionally shown a strong preference for protecting reputation rights over free speech, and a disinclination to differentiate `political' from other sorts of speech”. Kevin Williams.

The Napoleonic Code is a comprehensive and detailed system of laws that nonetheless seriously limited freedom of speech via censorship of the press, books, plays and pamphlets, and the rights of women etc. It did not establish Democracy. [Via Barron’s Passware. Google Books.]

Colonel Neville: "Hey, a lot of major sites and media around the world, took notice of our cruddy law and few saw it as a er, positive. Here's a few of 'em".

Ezra Levant and the CHRC creature. “...explicit constitutional safeguards ensure that political speech is unrestricted. But our northern neighbor has no codified bill of rights. Instead, as a dominion of the British crown, Canada's basic liberties persisted for most of its history as common law traditions.

Today, they are enumerated in a Charter qualified by a "limitation clause," and hence remain vulnerable to legal challenge in ways the the provisions of the US Bill of Rights are not. Having failed to capture a big trophy like freedom of speech in Denmark, theocratic thugs are doing their best to silence individual voices like Levant's through costly, abusive litigation".

"Freedom of speech must be tolerated, and everyone living in the United Kingdom must accept that they may be insulted about their own beliefs, or indeed be offended, and that is something which they must simply endure, not least because some suffer fates far worse". Cranmers Bottom Line.

"Freedom of speech is being able to speak freely without censorship. The right to freedom of speech is guaranteed under international law through numerous human-rights instruments, notably under Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights, although implementation remains lacking in many countries. The synonymous term freedom of expression is sometimes preferred, since the right is not confined to verbal speech but is understood to protect any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used.

In practice, the right to freedom of speech is not absolute in any country, although the degree of freedom varies greatly. Industrialized countries also have varying approaches to balance freedom with order. For instance, the United States First Amendment theoretically grants absolute freedom, placing the burden upon the state to demonstrate when (if) a limitation of this freedom is necessary. In almost all liberal democracies, it is generally recognized that restrictions should be the exception and free expression the rule; nevertheless, compliance with this principle is often lacking". Freedom of speech. Wikipedia.

"Constitutional and administrative law govern the affairs of the state. Constitutional law concerns both the relationships between the executive, legislature and judiciary and the human rights or civil liberties of individuals against the state. Most jurisdictions, like the United States and France, have a single codified constitution, with a Bill of Rights. A few, like the United Kingdom, have no such document". Law. Wikipedia.

"The rule of law is better than the rule of any individual". Aristotle.

"While the Premier might like to think he had the wholehearted support of faith leaders, this is not so, at least among the clear majority of Christian faith leaders.

Dismayed both by the early indications of what amendments might be entertained by the Government and the Premier's continued insistence of faith leaders' support, 19 prominent church leaders, including some denominational bishops and moderators, and pastors of some of Melbourne's largest churches, met in January. They subsequently wrote to the Premier requesting a meeting to present their request for the removal of the civil provisions in the act, a minimalist option that, while a compromise, would have made the act somewhat safer.

This request for a meeting with the Premier was declined, making claims of consultation with faith leaders rather hollow.

The overwhelming proportion of church members, as evidenced by 27,000 signatures to a petition calling for the removal of the religious aspects from the act, consider the Racial and Religious Tolerance Act to be deeply flawed and offensive. They have witnessed both Muslims and occultists using it to pursue centuries-old religious conflicts against Christians, in which secular courts are ill-prepared to adjudicate.

This was amply demonstrated in the action brought by the Islamic Council of Victoria against a small Christian group, Catch the Fire Ministries, in which the judge in the case made the bizarre assertion that the 1 billion adherents of Islam regard the Koran as equivalent to the Bible; that it agrees substantially with Christian beliefs save for particular events.

This would be news to most Muslims and Christians. Furthermore, the decision judged the shocking material cited from the Koran by one of the defendants as no longer relevant to the 21st century - this is clearly contrary to the views of those Muslims, including Muslims living in Australia, who regard the Koran as the literal dictated word of Allah and therefore unalterable. A particularly noxious aspect of the judge's decision was that speaking the truth is no longer an acceptable defence”. David Palmer. May 1, 2006. The Age newspaper

"A campaign to dump a religious hatred law in Australia is winning growing support from churches -- including some whose opinion on the law has shifted since two Christians were found guilty of vilifying Muslims.

Mainstream church leaders are adding their voices to other Christians asking the State of Victoria's Labor government to rescind the legislation, saying it poses a danger to freedom of speech.

Victoria's Racial and Religious Tolerance Act made headlines around the world after Muslims took two pastors before a tribunal, complaining about a post-9/11 seminar designed to explain Islam to a Christian audience.

The case made waves in Britain, where the government has been trying to enact a similar proposal....

For the Presbyterian Church the outcome of the Catch the Fire case raised two important issues.

"First, are judges now required to make theological judgments under the Act and just how well qualified are they to do so?" moderator Allan Harman said in a statement.

"Secondly, and more specifically, are we to assume that Christians quoting and commenting on Islamic texts in ways the Muslims object to, will be penalized? This ability to critique another person's position is integral to a free and democratic society."

Both the Presbyterian and Anglican (Episcopalian) churches argue that the legislation has mixed up questions of religious and racial hatred.

"It was a great mistake for the government to lump religious vilification in with racial vilification," Harman said. "Apart from a very few small groupings such as Jews and Sikhs, race and religion in the modern world are not the same thing. Race for any person is a given, not so religion." Jihadwatch.

Patrick Parkinson on why our law is dumb as a bag of gravel. The University of Sydney Law School.

Here's an incredibly comprehensive round up from Australian Christian group, the Saltshakers.

And now a word from the government. Just give them a moment to pull their pants up.

More on why the law sux.

The great Danny Pipes on same.

A hip and related Andrew Bolt piece.

On bogus insulting Turkishness Muslim laws. Hey, do they mean "Hey, do you know you have a certain insulting Turkishness?!" I can't wait until the Instanbul Express reaches Europe with it's seventy million passengers. It'll be like sunshine! Gotta be, Mister!

Excerpt: "Turkey is expected to amend a heavily criticised law which makes "insulting Turkishness" illegal, in order to improve its chances of entering the EU…Breaking the law can mean a sentence of up to four years in jail.

Change of wording: Sahin refused to comment on the nature of the changes to the law before they were discussed at a cabinet meeting on Monday.

However, media reports have said that the term "insulting Turkishness" may change to "insulting the Turkish nation" or "insulting the Turkish people".

Colonel Neville: "Whatever".

Libel Law: free speech on trial by Helene Guldberg.

"...claimants do not have to prove actual harm. They just need to show that the words complained of are capable of lowering their standing in the estimation of 'right-thinking members of the public'. Those who sue do not need to prove that their reputation has been damaged - nor do they need to prove that the words complained of were untrue. The assumption is that the defamatory statement is false, and the burden falls on the defendant to prove its truth. This reverse burden of proof is almost unique to English libel law.

The defendant does not only have to defend the literal meaning of a statement they have made, but also possible interpretations. To argue that a particular defamatory meaning was not intended will not hold up as a defence in court. Claimants can - and often do - succeed in attributing defamatory meanings to statements that the defendant never intended to be defamatory.

No wonder claimants succeed in over 80 percent of cases that get to court. The absurdity of this situation was summed up by Lord Lester in The Times (London): claimants in libel cases, he explained, are able to 'obtain damages for a statement made to others without showing that the statement was untrue, without showing that it did him any harm, and without showing that the defendant was wrong to make it' (1).

With these kinds of odds, the libel courts provide some rich pickings. But only for the wealthy: the costs involved in libel trials frequently amount to six- or seven-figure sums, and there is no legal aid available for those who cannot afford to go to court…there were calls to hold those who financially support the claimant to be liable for the costs of the defendant, if the claimant should lose. But while this might curb some libel actions, it would only make the law even more exclusive to the rich.

The most worrying aspect of the UK libel law is the effect it has on free speech.

If authors, editors or publishers have the smallest inkling that the truth of a proposition cannot be proven in court (even when made in good faith), the knowledge that they would have less than a one-in-five chance of success in a libel trial means the story is most likely to be dropped…As David Pannick QC explains, 'the current state of the English law of defamation is impossible to reconcile with any developed concept of free speech.

Defendants are liable even if they make statements that they reasonably believe to be true on matters of public interest; the plaintiff may receive substantial damages whether or not financial loss has been caused; and legal aid is unavailable....Our libel law assumes that life is lived in a gentleman's club in which damage to reputation is one of the most serious injuries that a person can suffer' (2).

The K-Zone on defamation and free speech. English law has long recognized that a person's good reputation is something that merits protection, and that compensation should be paid by someone who impugnes that reputation.

A person who is a victim of an attack on his reputation can be financially damaged, particularly if the imputation concerns his professional competence. However, in most cases it is not necessary that the victim show that he has suffered any financial loss: libel (publication in permanent form) is actionable per se, as is slander (publication in transient form) when it touches on a person's professional competence.

On the whole, tensions between the law of defamation (libel and slander) and the right to freedom of speech do not arise where the imputation turns out to be true. `Justification' (truth) is, of course, nearly always a complete defence to an action in defamation. As Littledale J said in M'Pherson v Daniels (1829) 10 B & C 263, "the law will not permit a man to recover damages in respect of an injury to a character which he does not, or ought not, to possess".

It is not necessary that the imputation be perfectly true in all particulars; it will suffice as a defence if is is substantially true (AlexanderVNorthEasternRailway1865).

"Governments are stupid.

The term ‘government’ refers to a system by which a small group of corrupt assholes exercise authority over a large group of idiots. In this system, the governing body (assholes) extort money from the society they govern (idiots) for the purpose of generating paperwork, buying fancy office furniture, soliciting whores, and bickering over stupid bullshit on C-SPAN televsion. In return, they offer society the illusion of maintaining order.

Governments perform various tasks that are important to a stable society, but are difficult to perform without highly organized groups. These tasks include, but are not limited to: imprisoning and shooting dangerous people, imprisoning and shooting innocent people, issuing currency, wasting currency, giving speeches, funding scientific research, and lying to children". The Encyclopedia of Stupid.