Friday, 25 February 2011

PM Julian Gillard Says He Really Does Have Cancer This Time.

Pm Julian Willard pictured participating in 'Grow A Beard For Gaia Day'. Quipped the PM: "I didn't shave for a week! Remember Mother Earth can't shave or grow a beard or even sideburns!"

After claiming for over three years that he had developed terminal cancer, and then stating in 2010 that he didn’t have the often fatal disease after all, PM Willard has again claimed that he does now indeed have cancer.

On Alan A’Dale’s morning talkback radio program Australia's first openly gay PM said that “I never said I never had cancer”, prompting Alan to play audio of Willard saying exactly that “I never had cancer.”

A’Dale then asked, “Are you telling me you never said you didn’t have cancer?”

The PM replied that, “When my party and I meet people from the media, or buy a pair of shoes or even some cheese, I look at say the cheese for example from all angles, holding it up to the light and then sometimes I hire a small boat during the holidays. Many people enjoy boating but let me say that the Opposition Leader Herp Albert, is an empty man, an empty volunteer fire fighter and empty lifeguard and boxer, an empty Bachelor of Economics and Laws and a meaningless Rhodes Scholar with a Master of Arts in Politics and Philosophy and a very fit, much loved married man with two daughters and other negative non-progressive fear mongering.

As the only real alternative, I offer Australian the brilliance of my life as a militant union lawyer and my university experience as a Communist Socialist secretary and the thrilling wonder of barely repackaged Marxist left socialist ecofascism. Now if that's not undeniable proof my very progressive cancer, I don't know what is. And unlike the fear mongering Herp Albert, I have a boyfriend.”

Alan then demanded that the PM say whether she actually has cancer or not, to which the PM answered, “I would if you didn’t interrupt my irrelevent babble everytime I go on and on and on and on and on and on and...”

A’Dale: “Just answer the...”

The PM: “I was just trying to Alan, If you’d let me finish. My boyfriend always does. And Bob Brown will back me up on this. Often repeatedly.”

1 comment:

Eowyn said...

What's next -- a cancer tax? ;)