Wednesday, 3 August 2011

PM Julian Willard Lunch Launches Enormous Christine Nixon Fat Cop Profile.

"Oh, the afternoon tea..." Ironically and for all her gravitass, Christine 'What Me Worry?' Nixon often found it difficult to connect down to earth, if at all. Now when such a vast flammable baseload carries an enormous amount of self-generated explosive gas and then attracts a terrifying set of charges, well, the destructive results are entirely predictable.

As PM Julian Willard butter toasted the Whitmanesque talents of Christine Nixon - author, the PM made a rare error in accidentally referring to Nixon's book 'Fat Cop' as "The Concise History of the Communist Socialist Forum".

Even these wonderful wrong words and chocolate eclairs, Savoy truffles and pineapple tarts were not enough as the free lunch-seeking whordes of journalists fell over gigantic piled sweet trays in a futile attempt at measuring and weighing the massive achievements of the maverick pioneer of guilt free eating, ex-Police Commissioner Christine ‘Let’s Eat!’ Nixon. While not all the Big Red One's stellar triumphs involve a humbly detailed bogography or Himalaya's of whipped cinnamon cream buns, Camembert cheese and or wheel barrows of mushroom rissotto - some involve an ever grateful proxy state of Victoria represented graciously by media hacks, political geeks and union creeps applauding her as one, minus one hundred and seventy three dead.

The courage and sacrifice was palpable as the last cement-mixer of Royal Chocolate Mousse Deluxe was scraped out and sucked down and the final semi-trailer of Petite Fours were consumed en masse and after every piece of the John Brumby Desalinated Union Sponge Spectacular was carried home in the back of many a utility truck and as Christine’s personal conveyor belt of Caramel Swirls finally fell silent, the reviews of the furniture shattering tome were in...

They proved that 'Fat Cop' was indeed a book and that if anything, it contained words, words that in turn brought up other words and often straight to the throat. Sadly, it did not contain the words "My God, I am so very, very sorry. I was and continue to be wrong about most everything", or "I just want to take my enormous bulky pension, crawl away to nowhere and never be heard from again".

Other words and whole sentences wonderfully missing from Chrissie's book about Nixit herself, and the many other great men and women in power who lead us to victory are - inadequate, unqualified, unfit, unable, incapable, unskilled, inept, maladroit, inexpert, awkward, floundering, clumsy, bungling, gauche, insufficient, ineffectual, Wayne Mr Potato Head Swan and inefficient.

Low, abject, contemptible, dead to honor, debased, degraded, derogatory, disgraceful, dishonorable, dereliction, disingenuous, disloyal, double, emptitious, faithless, false, fishy, ignominious, indign, infamous, inglorious, insidious, knavish, lost to shame, of bad faith, one, perfidious, perjured, pettifogging and shabby.

Slippery, the left are mostly Jew-haters and Hamass bedpals, Lee Rhiannon, sneaking, the classic grey Prince Valiant socialist frump hag bob, treacherous, Lee Rhiannon, trothless, trustless, truthless, unauthenticated, unbecoming, unbefitting, unbeseeming, unchivalric, unconscientious, unconscionable, undignified, unfair, unfaithful, Julia Gillard has the same comical body shape as New Zealand's native Kiwi bird, mediocrity, afflent university student graduates filled with an ironic hatred of capitalism, nausea, you fill me with inertia and untrustworthy.

Unintelligent, fatuous, irrational, cognitive dissonant, logical fallacy sodden, obtuse, bovine, dull, dense, lumpish, doltish, simple, simple-minded, moronic, imbecilic, cretinous, Boeotian, subnormal, feebleminded, Michael Leunig, weakminded, stolid, dullwitted, dim, dimwitted, halfwitted, thick, thickwitted and thickheaded.

Twit, twerp, clod, pinhead, fluffball, fucker, eternal student union crisis meeting, foolish, silly, frivolous, asinine, hare-brained, crazy, insane, mad, crack-brained, working-class militant union cripples, scatterbrained, absurd, inane, middle-class rabble, Sarah Hanson-Young, idiotic, ridiculous, risible, laughable, ludicrous, Christine Milne, nonsensical, senseless, bootless, irresponsible, irrational, ill-advised, Sarah Hanson-Young and foolhardy.

Insipid, dull, tedious, boring, tiresome, humdrum, prosaic, monotonous, unimaginative, uninspired, uninteresting, vapid, vacuous, Kevin Rudd and ho-hum. Style-free, jerk, putz, anti-Semite, Che the child killer Guevara tshirt wearer, asshat, badly groomed, drunk, drug addicts, perverts, pansies, militant parasite, flunkies, unread, incurious, laughable faux poetry, mediocre, uncool, fucked up, repulsive, Bob Ellis and carpetbagger.

Peek-a-boo, globular pyramid, mountain of cholesterol, Jenny Craig will need garage doors, where's the Chihuaha gone?, Tony Toby Jug' Jones is full of shit, Australian Bolshevik Circle, Q&A naturally treats the Green MP Rhiannon the Jew hating Marxist atheist with respect and insults any conservative or Christian and gee, there's not really a lot of Zionist Jews on the ABC is there.

The mother of all camel toes, do not wear spandex, any Jew hating two-faced Taquiyaa spouting Jihadist PR fraud is cool at the ABC, the Michael Moore All You Can Eat Smorgasboard, take my wife..POLICE!, The Age subscripton rate bankrupt this year or next, I blame the powerless and any newspaper that reports any unpleasant facts about me, if I had my time again I would have done things differently and instead ordered the mains Lasagna.

Drivel, bullshit, blame-shifting, censorious, unaccountable, unreachable, untouchable, cant, two-faced, logical fallacy, ad hominem, politically correct, socialist, Marxist Critical Theory, feminist, feminisation, leftist, crime wave, unread, favouritism, identity politics, sycophants, bedpals, ecofascism, bankrupt, sell-out, betrayal, death, injury, loss, heartbreak, total failure, environmentalism, nincompoop, newt, mega-liar, Bob Brown and control freak.

Obese, corpulent, stout, overweight, heavy, plump, rotund, portly, chubby, podgy, pudgy, tubby, fleshy, paunchy, flabby, oleaginous, unctuous, greasy, fatty, pinguid, sebaceous, roly-poly, adipose, pot-bellied, overfed, flabby, elephantine, broad in the beam, beamy and beefy.

Profitable, remunerative, cushy, affluent, well off, elitist faux royalty, creeping snob, Paul Keating and loaded.

Mushroom Rissotto. Pagan Gaia worship. Marxist front groups. Manipulation. Power. Money. Control. Lies. Burnt to death. Dead Australians. Bastards.


Anonymous said...

Gee willikers, what's for desert then? Where there's smoke, there's always chance of a nice smoked ham or a flambeau pudding!

Christine Nixon.

Anonymous said...

What's that smell? No, not the burning houses and people thing. Ah yes..mushroom risotto!

Christine 'What Me Worry?' Nixon.