Sunday, 9 March 2008
Arthur Terrorist is not a terrorist.
A man who no sane person would ever associate with terrorism.
Mr Arthur Terrorist, an immigrant from Pakistan and now a British citizen, has denied he is a terrorist. “I admit it’s quite a coincidence but it’s just my name. Terrorist is a common family name in the region where I grew up in Pattootie Province. And a lot of the local people are called Arthur as well. All of my Maiden Aunt's fourteen son's were called Arthur. In fact her name was Arthur. I never really thought about it until now”, he said.
After arriving in the UK, Mr Terrorist bought a small property from his brother Mohammed who is a real estate and Mosque developer. The house at Number 42 Death to Infidels Way, on the New Jihad Estates, is typical of those now being built in very large numbers in the Islington area. “Again, it’s just a coincidence with these names and of course, some bigots and racists may find them ‘controversial’, but I can’t see it really", said Mr Terrorist.
Arthur continued, “Ok, before I get asked again, yes my nickname is ‘Islamist Bomb Maker’, but it’s just a pet joke name. We always laugh about it. Well, actually not that much”.
"My brother Mohammad, my other brother, has also suffered from discrimination just because he's a Muslim. I don't know how many times Mo has come home from an Islamist and Socialist Left Solidarity screamfest in tears. All because only fifteen thousand people and Ken Livingstone were applauding his sign with the simple message of peace, 'Behead those who insult Islam!' But that's bigotry for you".
When asked if he could honestly say that he has never been involved in any terrorist activity, Arthur Terrorist replied, “Of course not! I’m not a terrorist! Absolutely not. Are you crazy?! That’s outrageous! Never crossed my mind. Never heard of it. Ya kidding? Absurd! I love peace. Oh yeah, I’m just nuts about peace! Nope, never, not even a teensy, weensy, eensy bit. No.
Though everyone else I know, is a terrorist”.