Empty and meaningless visitation by Leftard entirely symbolic.

The PC Left inhabit a grossly distorted, fraudulent, disconnected, hideously bloated and profoundly boring reality. NEVER, I repeat, never voluntarily allow one to enter your own home.



“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends”. Friedrich Nietzche.
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Bill Cosby said if you haven’t seen someone for over twelve years, don’t.

Dear sports, regards a recent and hopefully final encounter I regrettably had with a parody of Leftardism, I’ll start at the last debilitating sighting and unexpected mutual good riddance party of said vegetable creep by a screaming idiot. Er, me. Hey, here’s a real surprise. A lot of Left people are extreme vegans! How unexpected eh? Oh yes, wheat grass kids also believe that Astrology is er, cough, a 'science!' Sure it is.

The reason I’m being kind of harsh, apart from being a bastard, is due to one of the last things he offered before I threw da bum out. And yes rather badly I might add. Though amazingly, neither of us actually became physical. We must be Saints of some kind...Er, no.

After knowing each other more off than on since we were twenty, Turnip Boy then decided as you do, to threaten to assault me in my own home, which sadly, would have been in front of my five year old son. Oh yes he did. I'm sure he regrets it. I certainly did.

"The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there". L.P. Hartley.

All in all a fairly depressing encounter with a classic sub-set and logical end result, of a now ex-pal, being infected with a daft kind of Left Liberal Fascism, luckily sans any effectiveness. Jonah Goldberg explains such tragedy in his great book ‘Liberal Fascism’.

I think something about character and the lack thereof, flows on from this, eh? His and mine. I felt that any unemployable pretence as heroes of any people, tended to vanish right there. Now it's more about the Salad Nibbler as a test case of believing in Left junk, and the sad, crippled creatures we can all become. That's if one insists on repeating the fantasies and naff drives of our generally clueless and narcissistic youth.

Yep, as a callow, boorish and a generally clueless youth myself, membership was compulsory! But I did have some spunk, humour and curiosity. But we leave those salad minded days behind don't we, unless quite mad.

Sure, if you’re a rich and venal Hollywood freak, a deluded celebrity, a nicely tenured academic and so on, you can prattle on forever spouting pure Leftard gold sans any empirical proof whatsoever, cos you can afford to. However, if you’re the average schlub, you merely become “that guy who is always after a cigarette, or $20 bucks and just won’t stay out of your fridge, and he always has that mournful hang dog look". Yowzer.

Reminds me of my 20's.

“Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy”. Nora Ephron.

And man, I did handle it all so very, very badly. There’s something about facing an unpleasant situation within your own home, that can make me become rather uniquely unhinged, as all previous clarity flies out the window on a greased rocket of emotions. It always has a very 3:AM, aggravated burglary feel about it, because really, it kinda is. Yep, I was 'orrible and ridiculous, really.

Grab the lampshade and its “…Get the Hell out of my house, you Mother!”

The people I knew over twenty-five years ago were really just useless and foolish children, as I often was too. You could only rely on them to alternatively let you down, welch off you, steal something from you or let the electricity get disconnected. Hey, he was one of the few trustworthy chums I knew at the time. But yep, we were very young and pretty dim, even with the electricity on. And we were vaguely for some kind of absurd idiot styled 'Revolution!', but couldn't even organise lunch. No, literally.

Why did I change to a Conservative Libertarian kind of guy, still tryin' to make it in the big city, from the largely hopeless disaster of Leftish hued bohemianism? I had to, Mister! Er, because Leftism as a lifestyle choice stinks, due to the harsh fact that reality is relentlessly Conservative, as any parent knows.

And like everyone else who is sane, I eventually learned to tie my own shoe laces, almost, my acne cleared up and personally, I was always a Christian. I married a Japanese woman, we have a beautiful son, I started two restaurants, I got an education, I bought property, I put some effort into learning new things, I started bathing regularly mostly with the support of said wifey and so on. And I failed plenty, I mean really and appallingly failed, but I got up and kind of kept on trying in my chaotic and er, rather messy way.

If only life had 'Wrong Way Go Back!' signs. I only have one fault, no really. Sadly there's a lot of them.

And anyway, have you seen what middle-aged Socialist women look like? It’s as if Mother Goose was genetically modified with a Romanian potato farmer and Andrea Dworkin. What’s with the popularity of the grey Prince Valiant bob, plus raised fist and rainbow T-shirt ensemble? Er, no thanks. I like adult contemporary cool and grooming.

“Natural” can just as easily mean rolling in the dirt naked and without any dental plan.

Yep, reading lots and lots and lots and thanking God or Berners Lee, for the Internet helped. I lived overseas, I'm intelligent, I have a sense of humour and as far as any human being can, I like the truth of things where it counts. I couldn't bear to stay anything like I was at 25 or even 30. Why bother? It's creepy and it wasn't so great at the time.

And Left politics if anything, are like a perpetual childhood tantrum. The Left are merely the brats who look at the world and say, "I want it MY way, now! Or I'm gonna scream and hold my breath! I will! I hate you all!"

“Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people”. James Russell Lowell.

Embarrassingly true. What irks me is how much we have in common! He's recently responded and I must concede on several er, points. Hence the three day re-edit period.If only people were nice, eh?

“In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms”. Stephen Jay Gould.

It's also handy to have no ridiculous and essentially neurotic Utopian yearnings. Mere projections, kids. And to value what we have now and who we really are as human beings. So naturally I long ago became bored at the irrational contradictions of Left non-thinking and sickened by their insane beliefs.

On the rare occasion that I used to hear about some ancient dope head I once knew, well, their trajectory was usually ugly, deviant, illogical, ungrounded, perverse and er, perfectly Left. And so it was with my recent unpleasant encounter. Picture my angry guest as a wilted celery stick about six foot three and there you have it. We looked like some entirely unfunny comedy duo. Two straight men and no comic relief.

“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them”. Rita Rudner.

What such people want out of life, beyond the seemingly pointless, I’ll never know. Why visit me? I have nothing they want. I who have nothing. I don’t believe in vampires and the average Lefty is uncannily like one, if only to themselves. Calling out of the blue to visit me cos he was visiting someone else. Great, but maybe just try to want to visit me for a change, eh? I finally realised that some folks may have a limited interest in either other people, or especially me.

When David Frost, the famous opportunist and bore once rang up the wonderful Peter Cook to ask him over for a party that was going to be attended as David said, by Princess Margaret and a host of swinging sixties celebrities, Cook said “One moment. I have to consult my diary”.

There was the sound of rustling pages and then Peter returned to the phone and said, “Unfortunately, I see that on that night, I‘m watching television”.

Must remember.

So, King Lettuce turns up two hours late just as I have to get my son to bed. There is no schedule for some. It’s all la de dah unless it’s about er, them. He wonders why I’m a little uncomfortable apart from the facts of family life, and that he maybe has nothing interesting to say. That happen's if one never, ever reads anything at all and get all non-insight from TV, lazy gossip and possibly retarded chums. Yes, that may be it.

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices”. William James.

My son kinda got it right the first time when he said to the Lettuce Leaf Kid, “You’re afraid I think”.

Yep, Leftism makes you paranoid about almost everything except the real dangers of paranoid Leftism! For folks who believe in radical change so much, changing themselves seems er, a challenge. Some folks should face that they really have no talent, but then "every one's an artist!" Er, no.

People who have not been able to swing a long-term relationship, which admittedly are hideous arrangements, tend to make themselves into anti-social freaks, and profoundly tedious, super fussy mega bores, at best. The great thing about marriage etc, is that you can spend your life with someone who is already like that.

"An unexamined life is not worth living". Socrates.

Funny, I’ve worked in aged care, and in many ways, the Left reminds me of the old, the decrepit and the senile. Physically, Pumpkin Boys can appear to be wading through molasses under the influence of several Valiums.

Junior Beetroots are sometimes so narrow minded and set in their ways that you can hardly talk about anything. There is too much that normal people do they they don't. The lack of interest and the incuriousness really irks me too. Irk I do. It's a disconnect I find profoundly disturbing. The dumbest bastards I've known are people who believe essentially radical views are normal.

He said to me as he flopped on my couch sans energy, “I’m happy because John Howard has gone!” Riight. Good for you, laughing boy.

I asked him repeatedly why he was saying this crap to me and would he stop? You know I'll get riled, riled I will. Why not tell me a dull tale about buying some salad, another Asian girl, getting up at lunch to prepare for bed, or digging some cable porn? I don't know. If I wanted boredom, failure and madness, I can stay at home.

But he was if anything, oddly possessed of a burst of vegetable determination. Being a weird super vegan, tea, coffee or anything is refused, so you're always left hanging there minus regular social protocol, so to speak.

Colonel Neville: "So yo want tea, coffee, fruit juice, water or plasma?"

Celery Man: "No. Nothing".

Colonel Neville: "Great. So er', what ya been doin'? Watched any inspiring cable?" And it's all down hill from there.

And all food beyond some kind of even narrower sub-set of the organically approved is it seems, off limits, except for peculiarly random junk food! But no er, tea. Riiight. Too deadly. Gonna kill ya. Killed millions. Any social occasion plus a vegan or two, usually starts off annoyingly odd and sour and can get only more so.

“It’s the first time I feel proud to be an Australian!”, he drivelled. Er, apparently because PM Rudd said the word sorry, and signed the incredible Kyoto fraud and fantasy.

So that would be the proud Australian whose been getting some kind of support from our apparently shameful country since about 1979? No shame there then? Especially when there is entirely nothing wrong beyond the wrong headed? I'm not crazy about my own government funded guitar scholarship either.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Which is hardly surprising, as many vegetarians are Hitler.

The Left have much in common with Hitler, who was a man of the Left and believed entirely in everything the Left does. He added anti-Semitism etc, and called his movement the National Socialist Workers Party, and for very good reasons. Read Jonah Goldbergs latest book called [Left] 'Liberal Fascism'. The Left are violently passionate, nihilistic, Socialist and Utopian fraud driven and at core, Totalitarian creeps. They dream of ever bigger government and are desirous of state power for their insane pet ‘causes’, like environmentalism and nationalising everything.

The Left are often virulently anti-Christian while accepting of any embarrassing Paganism. They are more likely to be New Age boobs who believe in anything but the facts. They are curiously youth obsessed, naturally anti-Capitalist where it suits and repelled by contrary evidence.

“I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult”. EB White.


But back to the future with the spiritual leader of the Carrot People. Now he's not a bad person, despite the ruined tete a tete. So why the attraction to the bad ideas of Lefty bilge? I don't know.

Most everything Left is entirely ineffective and merely abstract. The theoretical nature of this ideology appeals to a certain type of fool over and over again. Leftism is not really about action per se, at least not sane and constructive actions, but about emotions and feeling pretty damn smug about yourself. That’s until they get into power, then its the freeway of incompetence via one disastrous policy after another, the utterly meaningless posturing of the empty sham and the the totally symbolic as 'achievement'.

Captain Coconut said how PM Rudd had “...done so much. He's signed the Kyoto Protocol and said sorry to the Stolen Generations!” Er, no. He's done entirely nothing. All symbolic by definition and there were no “Stolen Generations”. Give me two names. Er, no. If there were 'Stolen Generations', it then follows that one could provide a generation of names...but no.

“But there was a racist policy to take away the kids!” So what was the name of this policy? When was it enacted and by whom? What year etc, etc?

The Guest: "Dunno. I don't have time for all that!".

As per usual modus operandi, they can't seem to stay on a single point, but it was “The White Australia Policy!” Er, no. That’s an immigration policy.

“They’re all the same!” Er, no. “You mean the media made it all up?” I didn’t know that there was that much in the MSM that was not made up. Funny innit, how such folks will switch in an instant from saying the media is a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, to trusting and believing in the MSM entirely. He raved on in this cliched and naturally incoherent manner for about twenty minutes, but it felt like slow time travel in the wrong direction.

I knew I’d ask in vain for him to quote me the alleged temperature figure variation that Kyoto will allegedly achieve in about fifty years time. Yeah, they say about 0.05 percent! Less than the normal variable fluctuations. A steal at trillions of your tax dollars. Global Warming is the big lie of the century and a massive tax funded gravy train fraud.

Global Warming Ideology = Global Socialism.

I asked do you think it more likely or less likely that any authority will act to remove the many hundreds of Aboriginal children from where they are being neglected, assaulted, raped and murdered, now that Kevin Rudd’s phoney sorry fiasco has said that Koori kids were stolen? These deaths are happening er, now.

See, I finally got sucked into a pointless and doomed er, 'discussion', a la moonbat! And all because I have a dreadful temper and think I should bother to offer my pointless view. Er, why bother?

I asked him, at what level of Koori abuse do you think authorities should act, like now? No answer. I've had this sad one way conversation with people one time too many. It doesn’t matter what you say, it doesn't matter if kids are dying so it seems, as long as one feels damn good about ones own superficial pose and great...words! All Leftism follows the same asymmetrical logic of stupidity and outrageously irresponsible consequence.

In the middle of a classic Left trope of allegedly caring so much about someone or something, I like to say, no you don’t. You don’t really care at all, not a monkey's, about either the Iraqi’s, Aboriginals or anyone else, or you may do some damn real research sans the conceit. 'Causes' are handy ciphers for ideology, kids, which is always the primary concern. The look on their faces is always the same; a kind of embarrassed and guilty shock that someone does indeed have their number.

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it”. Jane Wagner.

He became more angry and sadly, so did I, as he said "I bet you even voted for Howard this time!" I was then informed by the self-tossing salad, that this made me a "Right wing bigot Fascist!" He had to say it. They always do.

I've always thought of myself more as a bastard really.

It was at about this stage I believe, that I got even a little too pissed off, and said I'll damn well vote for whoever I want, pal. And this is my impression of an open door! Sadly, this was after he had already started to leave, so it did lose the desired effect.

Funny how Leftism is so allegedly 'Democratic', that they'll let you vote for whoever they want.

They do get shrill and grab hysterically to crazy unproven non-solutions to the human condition, which are forever seen as a 'problem'. Curiously, these non-ideas are invariably such incorrect readings of actual human nature that they're utterly inhuman answers to anything whatsoever.

Why do the Left obsess about such bunk, junk and canards? maybe because they want to project a superior image of themselves onto you and the world, by any means necessary. And it sure beats looking in the mirror at a shabby personal reality. I myself, avoid the bathroom during the day.

For the Left, much better to say the ‘real problem’ is out there, in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy that exists only in the boring and humourless of mind.

“An old Air Force phrase is that when you’re catching flak, you must be over the target”.

The Left is perhaps defined by finding it difficult to tolerate any opposing views and if you do have even the slightest disagreement they will eventually call you a “Fascist!” By eventually, I mean about three seconds into just about any er, 'discussion'. And man, they never really want to know anything, or anything you have to say, and especially of the empirical evidence kind.

A “Fascist” is merely a Conservative who is winning an argument with a Left Liberal.


Yes, he had a girlfriend for a few months, but as tends to happen, she split because “...her Mother didn’t like the musician thing”.

Riiight. Er, no. Mom didn’t like the unemployable kind of annoying, insane loony and won't practice piano annoyer. Hey, I’ve been a musician bum and fool too many times myself, and it’s not really what I er, aspire to, but regret. That's what parents are gonna frown at. Frown they will. Man, it’s creepy to think that as a young dope, and not so long ago too, that I ever wasted a moment with any dispiriting and misfit dullards. But enough about the office.

It's hideous to me, that I was so bereft for so long, and that almost two decades later, I wasted a precious Saturday evening replaying my embarrassing limitations. But that's faux biz, folks!

Still, I did wish him Bon Voyage, but not in so many words exactly. More of uh, "Why don't cha' get a rope and hang yerself?!" Awful, but it was with a cheery wave and a smile.

“Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?” James Thurber.