The Sister of Little Mercy.

Being physically ugly and possessing the personal charm of a cane toad is all you need to make it in today's Socialist Party. Join now and get a free pair of sandals with unmatched socks, and a years supply of orange juice!


I once worked in aged care where there was a Nun who volunteered to help the residents. She was seemingly of the sadly now all too common type, that carries a bundle of PC Left canards and cliché’s around through which are filtered faux ‘tolerant’ views with an irreligious and mundane rigidity. Now I'm a Christian, funny enough, and old Sis was writing a book on that timeless philosophical and religious conundrum of er, environmentalism! And with the usual idiot shouts I imagine, regarding the alleged evil of John Howard/BushHitler etc, etc ad nauseum. Had to, Mister!

Is it not pitiful that for some folks, the most profound concerns are best explained via the shallow, fashionable, predictable and the bog standard? Yep, she did turn me off eventually! And like most Socialist Left middle-aged women, it has nothing to do with them looking like a cross between Jean Paul Satre’s buffalo shouldered sister and a permed file cabinet, but without the glamour.

I asked her once to turn down the TV room Soma box from napalm level, and this was er, somewhat difficult for the old chuckle head. Did I tell you she had a great sense of humour? That’s because she didn’t. She had a sense that humour was out there, somewhere…

Colonel Neville: "Excuse me, is it possible to turn down the volume a little? It’s just kind of blasting to work to”.

Sister Vinegar: “WHAT?!”

Colonel Neville: Repeat.

Sister Pissed ‘er. “She’s gotta hear it! She’s deaf!”

Colonel Neville: “I understand, but I’m not...yet. It does echo around unfortunately and disturbs the other residents too, you see”.

Sister Blister: Silence. Turns down volume.

Colonel Neville: “Thanks”. Leaves then thinks: “Maybe I better see if all is well. Excuse me, but is there something wrong with me asking you to turn the volume down a little? Have I offended you?"

It's alive!: “Yes!”

Neville: “How?”

The Sister from the Black Lagoon: “I’ve never had a person in your position ask me to turn the volume down”.

Neville: “My position eh? Ah, this must be the humility you’ve learnt from Jesus?”

The Lump: “I thought you’d say that!”

Neville: “Well, I’m a Christian too”.

The creature speaks. “I don’t care!”

Neville: “And that would make you a fraud, right?”


Sadly, my chances of promotion consequently plummeted and the old pig bladder got me kicked off the site. I believe I was about number 150 in 18 months. I heard she was considering taking me to some kind of Human Rights Commision because I er, insulted "her" faith! Hey, a chance at my own potential ersatz Mark Steyn and the CHRC conundrum! Never happened but what a riot. Christian loon attacks Christian guitar slinger for er, something.

Ah, it was a gay, carefree, yet claustrophobic, pedantic and mostly female place. Tense? I’ve experienced lighter moods on the edge of active volcanoes. Which just shows that getting the technical details down doesn’t necessarily guarantee one is a Christian at all.

“When you’re stuck for the rent and you think ya gonna break, the last thing ya need is another phoney on the take”. Iggy Pop.

In fact like most anywhere, you can get the membership or subscription even as a total bastard and freak, though you may be lacking any new friends. Whereas an Islamist will find being a freak a plus, and can therefore always form a good sized group.

Sadly, Jesus did seem to lower the Quality Control beyond repenting, which may have been a mistake. Shouldn’t there be some standards, like clean shoes and a workable personality? Couldn’t hurt. Just a suggestion. Sheesh. I prefer to live near other Christians if I can, though not exclusively. In fact, one of my neighbours worships a plasticine likeness of Tommy Cooper. I don't know how orthodox he is though.

Yep, a major part of charity and assistance in the world is Christian or Jewish, among a million other points of massive difference. Israel and the Jewish people help everyday, thousands of people who are otherwise their mortal enemies. Terrorists who come into Israeli hospitals get the identical treatment to any Israeli. There is no equivalent in the Arab and Muslim world, a world of pride, shame and revenge.

So many Islamic Charities are fronts for terror funding and money laundering, that they’re almost impossible to be seen as anything but criminal. And golly, Christians are not into beheading, and er, homicide/suicide bombing, er, genital mutilations and er, come to think of it, even a third rate Christian is preferable to a first rate Islamist.

The presence of total Islam is a virtual guarantee of only the totally negative and insane, and its absence is usually a great first step toward normality. The more authentic a contemporary Christian and the surrounding culture Western, the better citizen one will generally be. The more authentic a Muslim and therefore an Islamist you are, the more er, problematic one becomes. Christians by definition are Conservative, where as true Islam is an entirely radical proposition.

I’m sorry, but these are facts and I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

The presence of Judeo Christianity in particular, which is inseparable from the Western Canon, just about guarantees in the world a whole lot of positives, from traditions of critical, discriminating and rational thinking, of social depth, of values, the free exchange of ideas, innovation, freedom of expression and freedom in general, Democracy and especially of a working economy. Judeo Christianity is like a theological McDonalds. Everywhere you have it you have successful and free societies by default.

Yes, a fashionable idea is that Buddhism could, would or should do this, but no dice. Never has and never will, anywhere. Firstly, Buddhism has all the material and economic seriousness of belly button fluff.

It has neither the depth, application or commitment to overcome the natural um, inertia and entropy of its fatalism. And a lot of Buddhist sayings and thought, has an unfortunate desk calender ring to it. Judeo Christianity has a central idea of choice and consequences. That the here and now has human glory and great value, and that we are always moving towards something better. Thus the statism of Buddhism is the spiritual fancy dress of choice of shallow Hollywood actors uncommitted to anything serious beyond themselves.

You can tell a Christian if their concerns are more immediate, say a higher regard for people they actually interact with, like er, me. And gee, so there are no deeper concerns for an adult Christian in this world than the entirely fashionable sense of superiority one of enviro-Socialism? I can’t take a single theological concern or non-credential that such twerps and mediocrities would ever utter, even by some surprising accident.

Yep, millions dead from diarrhoea every year, sixty million dead from malaria due to the banning of DDT, six thousand Muslim girls genitally mutilated a day, over 10,000 known major Muslim terrorist attacks since 9/11, the Islamist global war for a worldwide Caliphate and their plans to use nukes when they get ‘em, 1.6 million abortions a year in the US alone, millions oppressed, tortured and murdered in North Korea, Iran, Cuba, Turkmenistan, Saudi Arabia, Syria and Africa etc, etcetera.

Or what about the mass hysteria and indocrination and manipulation of people by a Logical Fallacy and Cognitive Biased challenged, PC Left Liberalism and radicalism via the MSM, and our compromised education system? Hmmmm? Now there's a real and immediate topic for ya.

Then there’s the collapse within far too many Christian Churches due almost entirely to the corruption, stupidity, mediocrity and the relentlessly pathetic attempts to be fatuously contemporary, read that as entirely PC Leftard. All helped in no small way by the Left indoctrination of our school children and a major reason for parent’s flight to private and more authentic religiously informed schools. None of that seems to ever interest these people, like er, ever. Not even a blip on their myopic PC screen...

Nope, what people who are seeking a closer profundity to God need, are the latest embarrassing versions of the 1950’s ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’. This was a ridiculous and now largely forgotten attempt at getting with the swinging hep cats and greaser delinquents of the time, by re-writing the Bible or at least the Gospels I believe, in now tragically dated lingua Frankenstein.

Punk extra straight from West Side Story: “Hey Padre! Us kids just ain’t gonna make it with that Jesus cat, man!”

Happenin’ young inner-urban priest who can even play folk guitar: “I can dig where you’re comin’ from Daddio, but let’s cool it a little, hey? I’m totally hip to your bug with the squares and the fuzz, but Jesus is real, man! Trust me?!”

Hold’s out hand and punk places switch blade gently on upturned palm of hand. Kids then organise a bongo’s and prayer night every Thursday and Friday at the local Church Hall. Be there or be square!


Well, Jesus was neither fashionable, superficial, a wimp or merely ‘relevant’. He is the reflection of the eternal human condition, the profound and the forever unresolved faith in the awesome and strange presence of God, to whom we forever posit questions of the Divine.

And is it ok if He turns the damn volume down a little bit? If that’s ok with You an’ all. And where's my membership card?