Islam sucks.

Warning! Imam! Keep away from children, women, men and pets!



From the great Roger Kimball: ‘Hassan al-Banna, the founder of the Muslim Brotherhood. Their credo: “Allah is our objective. The Prophet is our leader. Qur’an is our law. Jihad is our way. Dying in the way of Allah is our highest hope”.

I have a screech owl that I’ve called Mohammad. I also have a baboon and a chimpanzee named Mohammad. I have a dozen lovable newts, a hamster, a gnu, three aardvarks, a poodle, two mice, a rattlesnake and a sloth all named Mohammad. I also have a centipede, a slug, a blow fish, a family of Sea Monkeys and a Petri dish of bacteria all named Mohammad. I can say "Hey Mohammad!" and they all appear at once, alighting in photogenic pose.

The borderline insane and those that have rabidly leapt over that border of the mind, say that Mohammad is all. All lies? All insane? All over? All rubbish? All washed up? Allman Brothers? All I want to do is boogie?

Gee, the fact is sports, there’s absolutely no need to try to er, 'understand’ Islam, or come to an ‘accommodation’ with Mohammad and the Krazy Koran etc. Nope, can’t be done. Not without signing your own death warrant! None of that irrational and suicidal PC floop. Islam or Islamism, has exacly NOTHING to offer the great Western Canon whatsoever, except for the abyss.

Come on, let’s be honest. With Islam, there’s always the clearly implied threat of violence, isn’t there? Yep, there are millions and millions of all kinds of wonderful, decent and regular Muslims. But do just observe how these and the many Muslim dissident's, feminist's, journalist's, intellectual's and activist's etc, etc in the Muslim world and the West, are largely ignored, insulted and virtually completely unsupported by the Western Left intelligentia. It's empirical, baby.

Name one Left figure who supports a single courageous Iraqi Muslim in their struggle for normality? I'd love to ask such illiberal Leftards what kind of Iraq, the people there should have. Their logic would mean either putting or allowing the Baathist Party back into power, or any dominant group of killers, as long as they er, just love to hate America.

So naturally, such Muslim's really ain't generally the one's in charge in most places I'm afraid, and in the way that counts, are they? Power in such peculiar states, coming largely out of the oil fed barrel of a gun and the pages of the Koran, so to speak.

And er, many earnest PC folks seem to forget that Islam entirely sucks for million's of Muslim's too, and to the point of death. Hey, maybe that sucks!

When in Riyadh and Iran etc, one must do as Islamists do, which is "Destroy Infidels!" One thing though, under any circumstances, don’t ever "misunderstand" Islam. Your head may come off and you can just explode.

So this is what we should all do. Some of the ways I’ve found to utilise Mohammad, the all purpose 7th Century paedophile, rapist, madman, mass murdering lice ridden Jew hating bandit, is simply in conversation, to replace random or key words with Mohammad and so on. Everyone knows what you mean, as when one says "Frankly, Islam scares the Hell out of me".

And yet, we can still get some of the few laughs available out of the old bastard freak and the rest of the axis of medieval regards the krazy Koran, and as Christopher Hitchens perhaps correctly called it, "the filth of Islam". I’ve also thrown in some swingin’ bumper stickers. Try these. Remember, if Islamism goes global with the help of PC Left liberal socialism, we're all dead anyway or will wish we were. Especially the female half of the population. Still, gawd, it's a larf, innit, eh?


Islam. The Religion of Peace...or else!

Hey! Did somebody just Mohammad?

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Koran.

Oh John! Oh Mohammad!

Oh God! I think I’m going to Mohammad!

Removes most bathroom Mohammad’s with a single wipe!

Removes even the most stubborn Mohammad’s in the wash!

I think we may have to put Mother into a home. She’s becoming more Mohammad everyday.

I’m afraid your tests are positive Mr Kowalski. You have Mohammad.

Sir! I said drop the Koran and move away from the nuclear device, now!

Your towel, sir.

In all my years of medical and psychiatric practice, I’ve never seen a Mohammad like it.

Islam? No, it’s beef!

Islam treats women like a precious gift. That’s why they wrap them up.

Larry, Mohammad and Curly.

Hey Mo! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

And then he says, ‘you should have seen the other Mohammad!’

Hey Mohammad! Here boy!

All units respond to a Mohammad at 12th and Vine. Suspect is armed, has a history of psychological illness and is considered extremely dangerous.

In zis experiment I vill transfer zer brain of zis Mohammad into zer brain of zis chicken!

Of course I love you but we’re so different. You’re just way too Mohammad!

It looks like Mohammad is going for the triple play.

Hey Dude, like that Mohammad is like totally radical!

Early behead and early to lies, makes Mohammad unhinged wacky and despised.

Hey Kor-an, you’re the girl for me.

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my Mohammad!

My Mother caught me having a Mohammad.

Hey, that’s like, totally Islam!

Adventurous cross dresser wishes to meet midget acrobat for casual fun times. Must be into Mohammad.

Oh, Mr President! I'll never get your Dhimmi stains out of my new dress!

Hey buddy. Interested in half an hour with a really hot little Mohammad?

I woke up this mornin’ and got myself Mohammad!

Are you some kind of Mohammad?

They Came From Outer The Koran!

I Was A Teenage Mohammad!

I never had sexual relations with that Mohammad.

I am not a Mohammad!

Dhimmi, Dhimmi coco pop!

The Australian Labour Party stands for all Mohammad's.

Read my lips. No more Mohammad's.

That curry gave me terrible Sharia.

Islam ah bad?

Life is but a dream...kaboom, kaboom!

Congress has just outlawed Islam. We commence bombing of Mecca in five minutes.

Whoh oh Black Betty, Ramadan. Damn things gone wild. Ramadan.

I just met a girl called Sharia.

Bewitched, bothered and beheaded am I.

In the merry, merry month of Ramadan.

A full Burqa looks like Gort the robot in drag.

Islamic puzzle book. Join the heads!

It looks like Mohammad is going for the red in the side pocket.

Now Mohammad, I just want you to relax and close your eyes and tell me, why do you hate everyone’s Mother?

That’s Mohammad ahead by two points.

Crazier than an Imam.

After washing thoroughly, please place all Mohammad’s in the bin provided.

I’ll have the Mohammad and eggs and a coffee, thanks.

I’ve been seeing another Mohammad, and we’re in love!

How could you spend all our savings on a Mohammad!

Hey man, this is Grade A Mohammad!

I’m sorry. We just sold our last Mohammad. We’re expecting more by Thursday at the latest.

They tried to tell us we were Mohammad.

Here’s looking at you, Mohammad.

Ramadan a ding dong.

Iraq me baby, all night long.

Hey, I’m gonna Mecca summa spaghetti!

Try ‘New’ Mohammad! Now with five times more Jihad!

Is your hair dry, lifeless and hard to Mohammad?

There is nothing to fear but Islam itself.

This is a day that will live in Islam, see.

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for Dhimmitude.

The truth about Islam? You can’t handle the truth!

Israel is real. Islam is unreal.

Islam gave me cancer!

'Harem Jane' Fonda. 'Haram Jane' Fonda. 'Annoy Jane' Fonda!

Islamism. It’s the crème de’ la crude.