Monday, 12 November 2007

Most celebrities have mediocre minds and think, say and do the same things.

Hollywood actress Radha 'Waht?' Mitchell, has found guidance through her personal guru and teacher, Patagonia Pete, pictured here at his Burbank spiritual retreat. "Why can't we all just smile endlessly?" is one of Pete's most moving insights and something Radha tries to live by.

“She may be a citizen of the world, but Melbourne born, Hollywood bred, LA based actress Radha Mitchell, will have her say come election time”. And Rhada, like most celebrities, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to say.

The time spent in the previous geographical locations can explain a lot, and the world inhabited by 'Radar' Mitchell, the worthless opinion and clueless ‘go to girl’, is the tiny vacuum sealed world of Hollywood Land. A place where 90% failure is the perfect proof and reason to do exactly the same things over and over again, except more so. Because in the end, they mostly all think the same, no matter what the empirical evidence to the contrary.

She’s “hugely talented”, yet needs help with voting. “I’ve asked somebody to help me out me out with that, just to get the thing to the ballot or whatever”. Riiight. Huge talent. Try reading the pamphlet at the post office? It’s a two page gatefold.

RADA Michell is currently researching her most challenging role yet, as ‘The Postal Voter’.

Yep, currently in town to promote her latest Masterpiece inspired by Kubrick and Welles. That's Arthur Kubrick the dentist and Cyril Welles the plastic surgeon. It's called ‘Rogue’ and 'stars' a computer generated crocodile. Who says Hollywood is shallow, repetitive and dry of ideas? Not me, fella. Wow! A giant crocodile! On the loose! Outstanding. Crazy.

Now after ten years in La La Land, Rada Dada who surprisingly is not a big reader of er, things with words, yes, books! Or literary journalism and whatever, is now ready to advise all comers on the direction of the economy, security, geopolitical stuff and er, like, whatever.

“Just get that guy out, you know?” Er, like, totally rad and whack, Radha! “Get rid of him. Move on. It’s not just the economy that drives the next evolution of where society is going”. Er, let’s stop and savour the airhead parody right there, sports.

“Move on”. Little spoiled, affluent and shrink wrapped Mitch can’t really stop from talking in any situation above how she would with her girlfriends. ‘Move on Gisela! That Aussie PM guy was no good for you. He just wanted to use you for your military insights, economic analysis and your perky breasts!’

Er, Mitchy, the economy is entirely what drives everything. What is the mysterious other thing? She doesn’t say…See how it’s a dramatic “evolution” instead of a normal and mature idea like er, steady, realistic and practical improvement, like at a hospital, a kindergarten or a big movie business etc. Well, maybe not a movie business per se.

It's like we’re all going to become Pan like field sprites and frolic with our Unicorn friends. Where “should we be going?” She doesn’t say. LA? Reno? Frankston? She doesn’t say… Gee, ain't the millions of dollars you've made from Capitalism any good? Guess not...good grief, Charlie Clown.

Um, isn’t the fact of a super successful Capitalist Democracy and free markets exactly what drives the ability to make Rads next maybe straight to video disaster flopperooni? Isn’t being a movie star in er, LA, utterly and only about conspicuous consumption, entertainment, fame and image shmimage? Er, and making cart loads of more money? Could be. But please Rads, do drivel on.

She says she doesn’t read Australian newspapers, meaning she don’t read, “she don’t like, that kind of behaviour”, she don’t read! Instead relying on more “informal sources such as TV” and “my Mum on the phone!” I kid you not.

‘This just in from Ma, the inside scoop on the trade deficit figures for Belgium, tensions in the EU and all the goss about Prime Minister Merkel’. This is the real part sports, and she says, “What’s going on? Oh, there’s a drought?” And she’s ready to go!

And of course, no celebrity twerp floating on a cloud of privileged and pampered abstraction is without their amorphous and fraudulent, “I’m a citizen of the world!” posturing. Yeah, but they all seem to have similar postal addresses though; always the affluent and free West.

Sayeth the fatuous and flatulent one, “I have more of a global point of view”. The view being entirely imaginary. “I do feel the environment is a big issue”. Hey, that’s all you need. Just “feel” it. Because there's nothing more to it. “And obviously we need to pay attention to the sense of impotence about global poverty, which is a bit pathetic”. Really?

So we can cure poverty if we all get more erections? Er, and couldn’t lessening poverty have something to do with um, building “economies?” Yes, celebrities mostly are pathetic whenever they speak without a script. It’s just that they have a very loud and totally unaccountable voice, you see, but it’s nearly all an undergraduate and juvenile drivelling bore, at least to the intelligent and sane.

She’s eager to “back her words with action!” What action? She doesn’t say…Oh, this is the celebrity idea of action, like a neo hippie festival to stop the Muslim Militia from murdering 2,000,000 more Darfurians.

“Hey Mohammad! We gotta stop with the raping and beheading of children. They’re dancing in California! I can hear the out of sync drum circle from here”.

Says the star that shines so bright above us dull mortals, “It’s almost like we’ve reached the point where we can redesign our concept of culture, like we don’t have to accept the way things are!” Gee, just like Pol Pot! This is the end result of being stoned at 3: AM in a Bel Air mansion.

So Radha's Grand Slam Plan for ending world poverty in the Third and Developing Worlds involves a profound understanding and the promotion of civil accountable government, effective free market economics, free press, ending corruption, tribalism and so on? Er, nope. That's not the boring and totally unfashionable level of hard reality any frivolous rich celebrity ever 'thinks' on.

And that's the great thing about the anonymous and voiceless poor and the entire reason for their popularity as an amorphous and handy abstraction; so ideal for the projections of the venal poser.

You don't need to know anything at all about the poor and powerless to speak on their behalf for what they should want, and for how they should live and die. Any celebrity vampire, eager for their 'Hero of the People' cred, can simply adopt and drop the easy to ignore masses at will.

Nobody is gonna ever hold these bloated Hollywood and LA freaks to account, whatever the consequences, and usually entirely in the negative. Yep, what the starving, silently dying and electricity free want, is to get involved to the death, with an affluent and middle class fashionable environmental hobby. They don't need the power to run hospitals, factories, airports, railways, massive film studios or luxurious Manhattan apartments. No, that's only for movie stars.

Says the article in ‘The Age’ for November 07 2007, “She’d like to set up an office for Global Green”, etc and ad nauseum. Big surprise, eh? Yep, movie stars are well known for their frugal lifestyles and humble needs, but they do have vast appetites for preaching to the plebs, don’t they just, eh?

“I might do that, but I’m no politician”. I often wonder exactly what many public figures are beyond being mildly amusing, slightly diversionary, mostly dispensable and utterly useless. “I would just help by being somebody who knows somebody, who knows somebody”.

Hey, everybody loves somebody, sometime, especially in LA, and sometimes even one at a time. And not always only themselves.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lots of words on the mediocrity of celebrity.

Human beings - you and I - have created this world.

We are mediocre, and hence the world is careless, violent, without love.

So what exactly will break this mediocrity?

Articles commentating on the mediocrity of X Y and Z? Bigger economies? More efficient machinery? More books? More films? More A less B?

Thousands of years and thousands of theories and thousands of wars and here we are writing blogs about how mediocre celebrities are. Is this really the problem?