Thursday, 17 January 2008

The Invasion of the Body Politic Snatchers.

Avoid expressing yourself around the left, liberal and radical. No, really. Because sports, they believe utterly in the diversity of expressing every kind of opinion, except for yours and mine...

Here's a real old favourite from Saturday September 29 2007. It's a little piece that really gave me a boost to keep on writing even if nobody else wanted me to. Now as you probably already dig, I'm as the blog header says a Peter Cook, P.J O'Rourke, Groucho Marx, Mark Steyn kind of a guy.

So naturally, the following empirical analysis is as clear as day around here in inner-city urban Groovyville. Now not everyone round these here part's has been infected via a pod from outer space, meaning mass Leftardism, but er, most probably are, I'm afraid. It does give another level of meaning to podcast. Eerily, it's now a cast of million's. Ah, the left are nothing if not totalitarian fascistic control freaks at heart. Yes, freaks. Sometimes I wake up laughing, screaming or both.

I live in the inner-city and I know many people who at first seem just like regular people. They wear their underwear on the inside of their pants and can tie their own shoelaces. They eat food, watch TV and have jobs. Very few devote gleeful spare hours to kicking boxes full of puppies. But there’s something different about many of them and it’s not always apparent at first. I’ve noticed it more and more as I’ve learnt and changed, always reading voraciously as I research this, global phenomena.

The first sign is that they're not really that prone to showing enthusiasm and joy. I mean real uninhibited energy and an excitement about the future and its potential. Basically, being a God damned complete and alive human being. It’s as if they're living in a depressive envelope with some idea that life as it is, is all wrong, basically doomed and cancerous and must therefore end. And at the same time there's an odd smug conceit, as if there is an inevitable 'truth' to their nightmarish viewpoint.

There's also the creepiest implied undertone, unspoken but it’s clearly all there in their posturing. It’s assumed that they are part of a growing under-group inexorably destined to reach critical mass and you, and everything about you is irrelevant and expendable.

Now, they don’t say anything as such in general conversation of course, unless you touch on almost any serious, important or adult topic. In the end though, you soon see that anything and I do mean anything, can be extrapolated onto their relentlessly negative and peculiar default stream of explanatory style. But usually you don’t even get the pre-amble. It’s just straight to the high pitched sound they emit.

If you live in the inner-city as I said I do, there will be few people that you can talk to about this. Most people will look at you blankly and say, "I don't understand what you mean. I haven't noticed anything. It all seems normal to me". Well, it would. That's because many of them are er, THEM.

And just as in the movie ‘The Invasion of the Body Snatchers', starring Donald Sutherland, the instant you speak and reveal yourself as having any depth of individuality and difference, they point at you and their mouths open wide, denouncing you to the unseen crowd. But the shrill sounds they let out only mean something to them and their alien and alienated group of conformist and mirrored vegetable spawn. But it’s all supposed to be for our own good. They babble endlessly and without any logical end to their interference, that we’ll all be perfectly happy in the coming Marxist product sodden, left liberal progressive, Utopian madhouse.

What they push out so intensely and with a strange unnerving sense of panic are not words at all. Not with any natural humanity, expression or purpose, but a mindless repeating of a siren that drowns out your own voice and thoughts while stating overwhelmingly and repeatedly, “Here is the individual, the original and truly authentic man, woman and child whom the group has not completely hypnotised, suffocated, absorbed and eliminated as superfluous to plan”.

How could a mass sprouting of inhuman freaks with such an empty mechanical mindset in an obvious marching group think and lockstep, get to such a percentage without anyone noticing? And my God, they’re in such positions of influence; in our schools, government, media and entertainment and so on.

These things amongst us, all repeat the same absurd, contradictory, cold, manipulative, robotic, mass produced, stupid and horrible lies. How could obvious frauds get such a foothold on the fertile, red blooded, natural and the decent? How did they begin supplanting the productive, Democratic and rational life with their monstrously fake sounds, their empty gestures, insane modifications and rules that leave us open to invasion by millions of other variant spores of the same species?

Speak to many of them in the daylight and they can seem normal, reasonable, Unless of course you use keywords that express virile reality, fecund, important human values and time-proven traditions, and then they will instantly and hideously reel back, pointing at you, their faces contorted like a stretched bladder, wailing their insane, continuous screech as they begin mouthing out endlessly, “YOU ARE THE ENEMY! DESTROY THE CONSERVATIVE FREE INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEING!”


Crystal Hoyt said...

Hi Colonel Robert,

I just read your post and I agree, I do not see any adult content/inappropriate language. To what channel did you submit this piece? I think its eloquently written.

My only guess is that a reader flagged it as inappropriate for either the kicking a box of puppies comment (which they shouldn’t have been offended if they actually read the sentence/piece) or the destroy the human being comment (which does fall into encouraging destructive behavior).

But upon reading the entire essay, I do not understand how they can be offended, it seems clearly a satire piece/creative writing.

I hope you get a response, if not I will look into this for you.

Best, Crystal at helium.

Barbara Whitlock. said...

Our revision request emails can cover a group of issues. Your article

God damned -- was the profanity.

Before resubmitting, let's dialogue about an effective title for this. We need to get at your focus in the title, so other writers have clear directions about what to contribute to that title group and to help members for rating comparisons.

Sorry for the stumble.

Barbara Whitlock
Content & Community team