Friday, 8 June 2007

A Case of Bipedia for a 'Miss Cromwell'.

The Dr Eddie Swine Clinic and taxi stand.

Dear Miss Cromwell: Following your visit to my clinic and pastry wholesaler, I must inform you that you may have a form of what we call ‘Bipedia’, or feet. While this may cause alarm, this is not such a rare condition as one might think. Let me assure you that you will walk again.

One complication that can arise is that of ‘Bengali Extensions’, or toes. Usually these form into groups of five, though in your case it may be more. Don’t be concerned if at some point, you find you can bend your ‘legs’ in the middle. This will generally clear in time, unless it develops into ‘Knee’, then you may have knees for life.

Yours warmly, Dr Eddy Swine. Flat 12 Calcutta. (Ask for Madge)

PS. Please do not hesitate to send me a briefcase full of cash.

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