Respected Conspiracy Theorist Gnome Chumpsky lectures in Paranoia
Studies at the California College of Conspiracy Theory.
Respected Conspiracy Theorist Gnome Chumpsky lectures in Paranoia
Studies at the California College of Conspiracy Theory.
From our Correspondent in Berlin Harry
Limey for December 1946.
The American and British led invasion or
so called ‘liberation’ of Europe, has resulted in the deaths of hundreds of
thousands of people and an enormous destruction of buildings and
infrastructure, while leading to a giant fiscal blowout and debt that may destabilise
and weaken American and Western economies for decades, maybe even into the
1960’s, according to leading Republicans and anti-war activists.
This unprecedented criticism includes that
of high profile activist and conspiracist Gnome Chumpsky, whose
bestselling book, “The Pearl Harbor Lie: How FDR and the New Dealer-Cons Faked
The Japanese Attack On Hawaii That Never Happened”. In 1935, Gnome Chumpsky was
a founding member of the 'California College of Conspiracy Theory' and is
today one of its leading academics. Chumpsky is also one of only two campus
lecturers to have received an honorary Iron Cross.
“My initial aim for the College was to
bring discipline, serious scholarship and formal accreditation to the many,
many leading academics, politicians, activists and celebrities as well as the
millions of lay people working in the conspiracy field today”, said Chumpsky.
“This whole war was based on lies. I
myself was expecting the alleged 'surprise' attack on Pearl
Harbour at any moment, even as early as 1926. There was never any evidence
that Hitler was trying to develop nuclear technology for anything but peaceful
and domestic use, or that he ever possessed and even wanted any so called
‘Super Weapons' of any kind. Hitler may have been an unsavory person,
but before this illegal and immoral war, Nazi Germany was a very
disciplined, well organised and fully functioning country and now look at it”,
stated Chumpsky.
“Who are we to impose our so called ideas
of democracy on the German people? The President engineered the alleged
'attack' on Pearl Harbor, simply as an excuse to stop Imperial Japan from
getting control of shipping routes that are used to transport oil from the
Middle-East to American Corporations. It was always about oil and FDR’s pals”,
Gnome said.
“We know that much pressure has come from
the ‘Israel Now’ lobby with their unfounded and extreme talk of death camps and
such. There is no definitive evidence for this. We just didn’t keep up the
diplomatic talks with Nazi Germany, militarist Imperial Japan or fascist
Italy for nearly long enough", continued Mr Chumpsky. "Instead we let
Roosevelt, who is the most incompetent and stupid President in our history and
who can’t even walk properly, get us into this disaster. This was supported by
the simplistic talk of victory or defeat by Churchill. To FDR's insane
claim that we are defending our alleged 'democracy', we can add Australia's
lapdog to Roosevelt, Curtin.
Chumpsky also stated that, "There was
never any evidence that Japan was in any way connected to or supportive of
surprise aerial attacks. l'd like to see the proof that Japan was ever
harboring any so called 'Kamikaze' pilots. So many bigots and racists
especially in the media and this awful administration, automatically equate militarism, Emperor
worship, Bushido and Shintoism with violence and some kind of conformity.
Of course some people may have twisted the Code of Bushido and its message of
peace to their own ends, but they are not real Japanese, no matter how
much they may look like it.
The vast majority of Japanese wanted
nothing more than a life of quiet flower arranging. This government also rather
successfully painted all Nazis as monsters when most are clearly no different
to you and I. SS men should be just as free as anyone else to choose their own
particular lifestyle. Isn’t this what tolerance and diversity are all about?”
asked Chumpsky.
He continued: “It was clear how
outrageously FDR’s administration is filled with the extremists of the
religious-right when he spoke on the eve of the invasion for over six hours to
the troops and the nation in a speech couched in references to, and with a
central unwavering belief in ‘God Almighty’, Christianity and Nation! It was
sickening. Then there was the added and stupendous gaff when the Supreme
Commander of Allied forces in Europe, Dwight D. Eisenhower called this
invasion “a great Crusade”. Imagine how this inflamed the Nazi and Axis Street?
I was ashamed to be called an American” claimed Chumpsky.
Only weeks before the invasion of Nazi
occupied France, anti-war activists had gone to Paris, where many wearing ‘Not
in my name t-shirts!’ tied themselves to the Eiffel Tower and other landmarks
while chanting, “Roosevelt! War criminal and Jew-killer!”
Mr Chumpsky said “The people of Germany
did not invite us there and now Berlin is a bombed out wasteland full of
criminals where even Allied troops find it an extremely risky area to move in
at all. German society has collapsed and there is little water, almost no
electricity, the roads are often impassable and the daily needs of food and
shelter are barely available. Was this the great plan? This was a criminal
invasion on sovereign German states. No so called ‘liberation’ of Europe is
worth such a heavy price. War is never the answer and doesn’t solve anything”.
Republican Senator Mr Filo Fax of
California said that “The whole war from beginning to end has been played by
ear, with endless failures and disasters. Just look at the fiasco that was the
raid on Dieppe! We expected the war to be over by Christmas and it dragged on
for almost four years. Now that hostilities have allegedly ended, there is no
Master Plan that I am aware of for marshaling the resources needed for the
reconstruction of Europe.
The Nazi Resistance such as
the Werewolves, who some so easily label as ‘terrorists’, still continue
to cause enormous damage to the reputation and legitimacy of America in the
world by their continued but understandable violence. The Allies are seen as occupiers
which limit severely any chance of gaining the hearts and minds of the German
people. Where are all these so-called super-race Nazis, the alleged stolen gold
bullion, diamonds, cash and art treasures that the Government spoke so much
about? Where are the weapons of mass destruction?
The Governments claims that all these
Nazis simply disappeared and their money somehow got into Swiss banks, or that
all these fugitives are now simply hiding in comfort and under protection in
foreign countries such as South America, are clearly lies and quite frankly
ridiculous. These are on the same level as the fabrications about so
called ‘secret Soviet designs’ on post-war Eastern Europe and are all
merely a diversion from the real issues”.
In a final statement the Senator stated
that, “Myself and other concerned Senators are now calling for the impeachment
of the incompetent warmonger Roosevelt, even though he's been dead for almost a
year”.
1 comment:
In order to be effective, good satire skewers the target in such a way that most occupants of the target will be offended that their cherished belief systems have been reduced to so much humor.
By this definition, this was a MOST EXCELLENT bit of satire. Well done kind sir, well done!
GM's Corner
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