Our Best Man in Hollywood.

Tom Von Cruise pictured 'psyching' himself up to give a rousing speech at the Scientology Headquarters in Berlin.


“Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them”.
Suzanne Necker.



Dear sports, I watched the freakish nine minute clip on YouTube, now on Gawker of Tom ‘Not Joseph Goebbels’ Cruise, talking about the bog standard whacko crap of Scientology. Hey, if you have to have “jargon”, I always make mine “nonsensical!”

I'm glad there's no vids of any of my senseless outbursts. Are there any? Ok, just forget I mentioned it.

I also dug the ones with Tom wearing the ‘Flavor Flav’ medallion cum Super Thetan Award from a box of Cracker Jacks. Dig Tom’s little ‘Sieg Heil’ to the big wall painting of L. Ron Hubbard, done in the style of early 1970’s backstreets of Manila. Yep, real discerning judgement , subtle sense of style and taste there, Tom. Just like some of ya movies.

“Why ask for permission? We are the authorities.”
Tom ‘Not Stalin’Cruise.

I also collected a lot of rather adroit and fun comments too. Why? I just had to, Mister! The whole interview transcript is at the end of the page. When you listen to actual Scientologist loons such as one of the Head Freaks of Scientology, you see the obsessive and intense will to pointless action.

Pointless group behaviour is the classic enervater and driver of all crazy conformist cults and Totalitarian movements.

“You must do zis absurd uhnt pointless behaviour now uhnt relentlessly! It's a matching set viz der stupid rhetoric!” Any loon leader of any cult and any Totalitarian nut state anywhere, anytime.

Ya start doing the 'Dance of a Million Idiots' and then they have ya! Because kid, you’ve shown and proven that you are indeed a spineless robot drone without any rational thought process’s of your own. This is the real reason Scientology keeps their evil, insane, typical and exploitative methods hidden. They do want to get your mind first. Then your money follows.

“An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly”. Edwin P. Whipple.

Now imagine the skills, experiences and ability that Tom has picked up in his long movie career. From physical fitness, to business, money, strategy, organisation, acting, and from all that travel? The people he’s met, the friendships, the massive opportunities denied mortal men, the support, the Himalaya of free stuff and the incredible range of folks, many of them not insane that he must have learnt from etc, etc, etcetera.

Yep, he's also genuinely helpful to many people as they say, a loyal friend, kind, thoughtful and to his fans. Tom gives generously to charity, is a very hard working, reliable and professional actor, honest and er, he has many other noble traits.

Sadly, Cruise displays none of these qualities while frothing and spouting for Scientology, which has precisely zero noble traits.

In Australia, a corny joke term for trash collector is "Garbologist", just like Scientologist, eh.

So along the way, a man who has succeeded through his own incredible efforts, has also sadly had the full Scientology treatment. To escape after living so long in Ron L. for Loon and liar, Mother Hubbard Land, really is an impossible mission. Can Tom accept it? It don't look like it, kid. Ah well, he'll figure it out. Er, no.


"L. Ron Hubbard, went to the cupboard,
Lord, to give the dumb star a bone.
When the star bent over, the Thetans took over,
now the star ain't got a bone of his own.
Help him Lord, help him!".
Colonel Neville.


Here's a very interesting piece from Tristan on disembedded. See the cool links in the first comment posted. (My edit.)


"When Cruise talks about ethics, this is how Hubbard defined ethics:

According to L. Ron Hubbard, Ethics is defined as “that additional tool necessary to make it possible to apply the technology of Scientology.”

Note that this is not the definition used by the rest of the world, so any discussion of this topic between a Scientologist and a non-Scientologist runs the risk of being hindered by dissimilar assumptions of what the actual subject is.

"I believed in Satanism. There was no other religion in the house!"
L. Ron Hubbard.

Ron Hubbard had an early interest in Satanism and he lived for a while with the most prominent Satanist in the US, Jack Parsons, right after WWII and just before he started defining Scientology.

Black magic is the inner core of Scientology. Scientology borrowed its ethics from Satanism and adds modern light hypnotic and mind control techniques for an enhanced “brain washing” effect, as observed with Tom Cruise in the above video". Tristan.



Ok. Black magic is a load of bollocks as is the "Ooh! It's da Devil!" schtick. But what's that 'Old Black Magic' for, if not to convince fools that you have powers that you er, don't? And it would explain a lot of Scientology's guff and sinisterism. It's a freakout in a moonbat daydream, baby!

And yet, Tom is as they say the ‘Top Man' in Hollywood. He’s the best of the best. Incredible, eh?

If I look and I try not to, at my own shabby, kinda uneventful life made of too many wrong choices, then compare it with the golden existence and bizzaro achievements of the Cruiser? Yow. I think he wins mostly hands down except for a few little things. First of all, unlike Tom ‘Not Mao’ Cruise, I’m not a madman. Or a Devil worshipper! "You ain't the Devil!"

Well, I think sanity is something worthwhile. Or is it? Ok.

"Show me the money then!"

Also I write my own material. That's gotta be something? Sure, like most anonymous and alleged guitar playing humourist writers, I may be a teensy bit eccentric. But, I’m not a 'Light Fitting Swinger' or a 'Ceiling Clinger' like Tom ‘More Laughing Gas!’ Cruise seems to be.

Also I have no weird urge to conserve my “bodily juices”. I try to use ‘em up as quick as I make ‘em. You could even say I regularly blow the lot on some woman. So I have the juices thing together. There ya go.

“The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated”. Oscar Wilde.



Tom seems to be suffering from some kinda Scientology sub-clause catch that means he can’t use all his position and opportunity to take the opportunity to get into er, enough positions. To paraphrase Robin 'Stuck on a cocaine fuelled Leftard gibber' Williams, 'never have I seen a guy more in need of either giving an injection or receiving one'.

That’s some catch, that Catch 22.

Cruise on the other hand and not even his hand apparently, is a curious echo of the Stanley Kubrick film ‘Tom Strangelove: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Cruise Missile’.


Tom Cruise really is either crazy as they come, or is easily wading out of his intellectual depth merely by trying to analyse anything outside of his specialties. Though even in a lounge room 'The Crazed Cruise' has that ‘thousand yard stare’ .

Nothing he said in the wondrous Scientology promo vid makes either any sense or holds any meaning whatsoever. Beyond showing that Crooze is plain 'Rich Guy Nuts' that is. Cruise is like a character that was originally in the script of 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' but was never used, because it was just too ridiculous.

Being Australian myself, I don't know how long the average down to earth Aussie, even at the vaunted level of Nicole ‘You’ve got to be kidding me, man!’ Kidman’s stardom, could tolerate a perhaps one inch from insanity, in the stratosphere Hollywood loon and obscenely privileged control freak.

"The desire to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it" H. L. Mencken.

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort”.
Herm Albright.


If Tom is the best, then what are the rest? What’s after crazy control freak, illiterate, bloated with narcissistic power, money and personal assistants, after incoherent, deluded and dumb as a plank? It’s George Clooney, Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn and Harry Belafonte ad nauseum!

Come on, they’re either nearly all daft freaks in Hollywood or well on their way. Without such privilege and exposed to the harsh reality that the rest of us schlubs live in, most would simply shrivel quicker than the crew of Captain Nemo’s Nautilus in 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea.

Except that celebrities live 20,0000 leagues above the earth.

Hollywood seems held together entirely by accountants, technicians, lawyers and personal assitant's.

“Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth”.
Rex Stout.

Celebrities, movie stars and especially musicians often have entirely nothing to say about anything much. It’s pseudo depth like the plastic rivers on a train set. Outside of their performances, celebrities are usually merely diverting, as all amusement and entertainment is meant to be. God bless ‘em, I say.

What went wrong was when stars went from being just stars, to somehow thinking they're kind of Geopolitical Experts on anything and everything. Empirically unlikely, as it is absurd.

“I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe”. Richard Gere.


Hey, lucky Heath Ledger had the down to earth advice of Jack ‘Blow me again while we’re driving’ Nicholson to guide him. Jacks advice on drugs?!

“Hey, ya takin’ the wrong drug, kid!”

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment”. Dorothy Nevill.

Here's some pretty neato comments, sports. Better, more insightful and clearly more sane than than what old Tom had to say. Dig.



Coffeman64. “Even when I concentrate, it still sounds like complete gibberish coming out of his mouth”.

Coffeismyfriend. “Help me Tom...because I know you can help me...because...you KNOW.

Boxpox. "Do you get the feeling that the reason Nicole left him was because the "Cruise Missile" was a dud”.

At Gawker dot com.

GreanBeanKitty. “Tom Cruise is so "intense"... I was waiting for an alien being to come tearing out of his chest.. Maybe in the next clip”.

Snowpea. “Tom Cruise is like a guy at 3 am on the Shopping Channel, flogging off Butt Crunchers or Ab Busters, just with one hundred times more zeal. I think the really interesting thing about Cruise is that he's a very charismatic man, and totally mesmerising to watch. He knows the power of a pregnant pause, and a staccato delivery. Unfortunately, though, he has started to believe his own hype.

He looks as though Good Tom is out to lunch, and in his place, Evil Tom has taken up residence. The Scientologists have obviously erased his brain, and started over. The stuff he is spewing out is about as sensical as the musings on a "Hello Kitty' pencil case”.


Whiskeybaby on Stephen Colbert’s Cruise impression. “I love that version. The bit where he says, 'Sorry? I thought you asked me what it was like to be on the verge of insanity...' Priceless".


From disembedded.

Anonymous female. "WTF did he say?
I don’t think he actually had a lucid thought in the entire video. He sounded like he was on something. And this video is suppose to make us want to what? Join his cult at the behest of a cult leader want-to-be? Folks…this guy is seriously whacked.

If he and the people of his cult “know” everything (how to reform criminals, assist world leaders in obtaining world peace, cure mental health and whatever else he claimed), why haven’t they?

He stated he is “carrying more than his load”…Yeah, it’s called shit, Tom and you’re full of it! What the poor slob won’t do for a little attention".

SusannaJones. "Does he really stop at each accident he sees to help? How come we’ve never heard, 'Yeah…I was in a bad accident, but Tom Cruise came to my rescue?' You’re either in, or you’re out, Tom".

Verndroid. "Good Lord! Get a grip man! If you can’t say anything remotely understandable about your beliefs then please shut the fuck up.. oh. No. Wait! What am I saying? 'Good going Cruise. Keep up the good work' Jeeez".

Maddy. "That video made absolutely no sense. Was he drunk? He says that as a Scientologist, there is so much work that must be done yet he didn’t really elaborate on said work. He incoherently oscillates between the drudgery of work and the amount of 'fun' that comes along with it. He seemed almost overwhelmed by all of it. Take that vacation, Tom - apparently it’s long overdue".



Patrick. "This is what you might call a CLM (Career Limiting Move).

Cheetah64. "What the hell did he (TC the SP) say? Does he know? Does anyone know? Wow. That was just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo that made no sense.

Alanajoy. "Feel like I’m just watching another one of his movies.
He’s talking but he’s not really saying much. I can almost see him trying to remember what they told him to say. Aw poor unitooth Cruise. For your own sake, I hope one day you get ‘Beamed up".

John Q Citizen. "Fascinating to watch and listen to. edited from transcript. Tom Cruise: 'So, for me, it really is KSW, and it’s just like, it’s something that, uh, I don’t mince words with that'. You’re right Tom you don’t mince words, instead you make word salad".

Madnessmanifesto. "I loved the part where he sez, “I’d rather have a bottle-infronta-me than a frontal lobotomy.” You have to listen real close, ’cause he kinda mumbles and slurs a bit, but it’s there…I shit-U-not".

Dr. Gonzo. "So, Tom Cruise thinks he’s a Jedi? Now I know what Scientology is all about. Seriously, delusions of grandeur".


Libob. "Mr.Crusie has too much money, and he has an opinion. The truth is he doesn’t know who he is, and this is something that he feels he's a part of. He's voicing what's on his mind. We listen because he has money. Not because we care. We find something amusing about watching stars mentally crumble".






ProblemWithCaring. “What are the character traits associated with pathological narcissism again? Oh yeah:

[1.] Dependence on vicarious warmth provided by others combined with fear of dependence. (An adoring cult could fit the bill nicely!)

[2.] A sense of inner emptiness. (Though, maybe he couch-jumps because he is NOT empty inside.)

[3.] A boundless repressed rage. (I am not sure, but from that 9 minute video clip, sure looked like someone was due for an "anger audit.")

[4.] Pseudo self-insight (yeah - THATS not Tom.)

[5.] Calculating seductiveness. ("Women smell good. They look pretty. I love women. I do.")

[8.] Nervous, self-deprecating humor. (Well, he could be Will Smith.)"




Codepink. “I went onto Scientology.org last night and now I think you're all being really mean and that this religion is really, fun, cool and fun”.

Sedated."And much cheaper than I expected!”

NYMinute. “That's because they are having a special, two Thetans for the price of one”.

Umwhat. “Sounds like somebody's on board! But instead of giving all your money to LRH, can I have it? I'm really, fun, cool, and fun,too. Thanks”.


WriterWriter. “Are you quite serious? You think a "religion" based on a 1960s science fiction novel and supported by vicious, predatory lawyers is "quite fun? You need to read up there, babe. Scientology has been classed as many things; a cult, dangerous, predatory, false, a pack of lies, damaging, etc, etc. Never cute”. stupid-files dot blogspot dot com.

Whatitis. “eeeeewwww....that last video.....I feel so cold and frightened. someone please hold me”.

Colonel Mustard. “I'm sorry...did he just declare war on the non-believers?”

Karennuhoh. "And, if elected, I will order the installation of beige berber carpeting in all American automobiles!"

Littleolly. “ZOINKS Scooby! I think someone unleashed the monsters!


Bellyboop. “The pompous, narcissism that this cult breeds is gut wrenching. I haven't seen Tom Cruise find the cure for cancer, nor have I seen him stop the war in the middle east. But I have seen Kirstie Ally reach out to accomplish off a whole box of Ding Dongs on Fat Actress”.

Sassypants. “I can only assume that the "So whattya say, should we clean this place up," thing is a reference to putting away the folding chairs in the Knights of Columbus Hall after the meeting”.

DanfromRaleigh. “Dammit, that tears it! I'm going to start my own cult. Making people say bat-shit crazy stuff on camera looks like the coolest thing ever. I just have to get a celebrity spokesman...I have it! How about George "Goober" Lindsey? Everybody likes Goober, right?”


Ridiculopathy. “Wow. You hardly ever get to watch insanity manifest itself publicly while wearing a suit anymore. Sure, you expect it from the occasional standard-issue street corner babbling psychopath, but the dressing-up-and-reveling-in-our-psychosis-together-at a-rubber-chicken-dinner thing has been largely closeted the last...oh...century plus.

When the ability to record and distribute verifiable sounds and images became widely available, most psycho clubs went underground. Thanks Gawker! It's like Christmas! Who's up next?”

KarenNuhoh. "You read that book I gave you?"

"What book?"

"Dioretix. Science of matter over mind."

"Uh nuh."

"Well you'd better read it, and quick. That book will change your life. Found it in a Maserati in Beverly Hills”.


J.A.H. Times Online. "Wowee...a touch of bipolar or is he just manic? A megalomaniac? I don't know but his psyche is wacky. He laughs like a loon! Hmmm, let me think. The Servant King who changes peoples' hearts and minds with his radical love for the downtrodden and oppressed and the 'authority' of the ‘Scientologist?’ No difference eh?

I would say there was 33 year lifetime of difference. Jesus said blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall see God. He didn't label people SPs or PTSPs. This Scientology can be compared to 1st & 3rd century Gnosticism, where they thought they has 'special' powers and insight above and beyond mere mortals. I think I'm back to the megalomaniac comment!"


KarenNuhoh. “I thought it was "Diuretix".... That scene and Tom's interview tape are just alike in that the premise is that the hearer must wish to become like the admired speaker. Unlike in that Sy Richardson is working from one of God's great scripts whereas Tom Cruise is working from native dumbass. I still can't believe it isn't a mess of raw footage that forgot to get edited.

Tom Cruise laughs maniacally whenever his train of thought runs out of Thomas the Tank Engine wooden track. And even Tom Cruise must have been thinking: It goes without saying that you will clip out the breakdowns so I don't look this dumb”.




And here is the unedited transcript of Tom ‘She drove me to the point of madness’ Cruise, in full-tilt Hollywood loon intensity.


"I think it's a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist and it's something you have to earn. And because a Scientologist does, he or she has the ability to create new and better realities, and improve conditions.

Being a Scientologist you look at someone and you know absolutely that you can help them.so for me it really is KSW [Keeping Scientology Working] and it's just, like, it's something that I don't mince words with that, you know with anything. But that Policy [doctrine of founder, L.Ron Hubbard] with me has really gone, 'Boy'.

There was a time I went through it, I said, you know what, when I read it, I just though 'Wooh' : this is it. This exactly it.

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else, it's, you drive past, you know you have to do something about it. You know you are the only one who can really help. That's what drives me.

I know that we have an opportunity and, er, to really help for the first time and effectively change people's lives, and I'm dedicated to that. I'm gonna, I'm absolutely, uncompromisingly dedicated to that.

Orgs [Scientology organisations, divided into complicated hierarchy of classes] are there to help, OK. But we, also as the public, we have a responsibility. It's not just the orgs. It's not just Dave Miscavige [church leader]. It's not just me. It's you. It's everybody out there.

Re-reading KSW, and looking to see what needs to be done, saying Ok, am I going to do it, or am I not going to do it? Period. And am I going to look at that guy, or am I too afraid because I have my own ethics to put on someone else's ethics, because that is all it comes down to. I won't hesitate to putting ethics into someone else, because I put ethics ruthlessly in myself.

And I think that I respect that in others, and, you know, I am there to help. We're here to help. My opinion is, look, you're either on board or you're not on board, OK? Which is it? If you're on board, you're on board, just like the rest of us. Period.

We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind. We are the authorities on improving conditions. Criminon [sic]. We can rehabilitate criminals. We can bring peace and unite cultures. That once you know these tools and you know that they work, it's not good enough that I'm just doing Ok.

Travelling the world and meeting the people that I've met, you know, talking with these leaders in various fields, [pause]they want help, and they are depending on people who know and who can be effective, and do it, and that's us. That is our responsibility to do that. It is the time now. Now is the time.

It is being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, and you better know it, and if you don't, you know, go and learn it. [Laughs] but don't pretend you know it, or whatever.

It's like, we're here to help. If you're a Scientologist, you see life, things, the way they are, in all it's glory, in all of it's perplexity, and the more you know as a Scientologist, the more you become overwhelmed by it. [Laughs again, clapping his hands]

And [mumbling], they said, so 'Have you met an SP?' [Laughter]

And I looked at them and I thought, what a beautiful thing, because, maybe, one day, it will be like that.

Wow. SPs, they'll just read about them in the history books. I just go through that tech [technique], literally. It's not how to run from an SP. It's PTSP [potential trouble source person] - how to shatter or confront oppression. You apply it, then boom.

Because they wouldn't do that to me, not to my face, or anywhere in my vicinity where they feel they could be confronted. I wish the world was a different place, I'd like to go on vacation, play, and just do that. Know what I mean? I mean that's how I want it to be. There's times I'd like to do that, but I can't because I know, I know, so, you know, I have to do something about it.

It's not, you know, you can't sit here and wish it was different, and then, you look at it. And at that moment, I have to do something, don't I? Because I cannot live with myself if, and that [mumbles] I don't care whether someone thinks it's hard or it's easy. Because you're either helping and contributing everything you can, or you're not, ok?

Because you're carrying my load, all right, and as much as you're carrying, I still have got to do more. There's still a thing of 'let's go.'

You can see the look in their eyes. You know the ones who are doing it, and you know the spectators, the ones who are going , 'Well, it's easy for you. That thing, I've cancelled that in my area. [Laughs] It's like, man, you're either in or you're out. That spectatorism, I've no time for it. That is something we have no time for now.

So it's our responsibility to educate, create the new reality. We have that responsibility to say, hey, THIS is the way it should be done. We do it this way and people are actually getting better. Let's get it done. Let's get it really done.

Have enough love, compassion and toughness, that you're going to do it, and do it right.

I have to tell you something. It really is, you know, it's rough and tumble. It's wild and woolly. It's a blast...it's a blast. It really is fun, because damit, there's nothing better than to going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see.

I want to know that I've done everything I could every day I think of all those people out there who are depending on us. I think about it. It does make me feel we need more work, more help. Get those spectators on the playing field, or out of the arena. Really, that is how I feel about it. I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything... there's nothing part of the way for me".

(Fades out as Cruise laughs)




ADFS 10. “One of my sons was recruited by scientology in Australia, we live in North America, he was told to call and say his goodbyes because he was expected to severe all contact with us and essentially never see us again. Fortunately we got assistance from some former scientologists who guided us in what to say and how to get him out.

I was able to convince him to talk to me daily saying that I might be interested in joining, at the same time my wife flew to Australia. I convinced him to let some relatives take him to their house for the weekend so that I could be sure that he was okay.

My wife was waiting for him and throughout the weekend we convinced him that we loved him more than scientology did. He went back on the Monday and told them that he was leaving but they wouldn't let him leave the compound. It was only after he told them that his mother was a formidable force but his father would unleash a firestorm if he had to come to Australia that they let him go. That was on the Friday.

This was seven years ago and my son at times still is affected by the brainwashing that they did on him. Scientology is a dangerous mind manipulation cult that uses people for money or slave labour, which was the case for my son.

Government leaders should launch a major investigation of their practices. Hubbard's only reason for setting up scientology as a religion was to avoid paying taxes. They recruit celebrities to try and gain legitimacy with the celebrities' fans”.