The Fury of Derek and Clive Review's the Filth of the Fucking Age Newspaper.

Clive: Ere' Derek. Do you know I sent a missive to the Age? I did the whole relentlessly irrational letters to the fucking editor pantomime. The first one was merely measured, and I spoke of how the earth revolves around the sun, and that the speed of light is approximately 300,000 kilometers per second.

Derek: What happened?

Clive: I got a form letter from the head cunt saying that they will not print, and I quote, "racist, earth centre denialists and speed freaks" as they termed my kind. So I wrote another under the name of Jeremy Moss, a Socialist fool at the University of Melbourne, and thus another regular contributor to the Age. I just wrote "BushHitler! Fascist! Racist!" over and over again, like that axe wielding prick in the Shining.

Derek: How did you go?

Clive: My column starts Saturday.







Clive: I don’t know if you’ve ever attempted to read the fucking Age newspaper, Derek? Or as its known in the sane and moral world: an unaccountable urinal for the untalented and unoriginal.

Derek: You mean Jew hater and treasonous moral inversion central? You mean THE place for all your Leftard hack lies, incompetence and bias? I have, but I always keep a bucket handy. Funny you should mention toilets Clive, cos’ I was in those very editorial room slash toilets last week. Naturally Jaspin was in a cubicle blowing all comers if they’d just subscribe.

Clive: To Al Age, home of the venal Uni grad twerp?

Derek: No, subscribe to the fucking crap they print. Leunig was sprinting from cubicle to cubicle with his pencil out screaming “Fuck me in Hamas!” What a stupid cunt. I said this is no way to run a fucking editorial staffroom and left.

Clive: Well, they do call Jaspin the friend of the white wine Marxist and Islamist shit wherever they may be. Anyway, I found a free copy of today’s fraudspread, stuck on the head of a pissing goat. Naturally I stooped down to pop it in the nearest receptacle, when I spied the usual collection of perverted and perverse filth on the er, opinion pages.

You will note that at Al Age, opinion is just that. Utterly unmoored from any empirical reality, morality and sense of decency or journalistic standards whatsoever. That’s their idea of a diversity of opinion for you.

Derek: Anything good?

Clive: Even when good, the Age is horrid. Though Barry Dickins has somehow managed to slip inside the hideous Age paradigm with facts and individual talent. Thus Barry alone is crowned Dickins the Worthy.

Derek: As per usual, Clive.

Clive: Exactly. The editorial headline for Saturday 2 to the 3 January 2009 reads “Killing civilians will not make Israel safer”. Naturally for a moment I thought yes, letting the Islamic freaks of Hamas murder all and any Jews as policy and with impunity for decades, will never make Israel safer. But no, Al Age means that Israel will be far better off if it takes the eager advice and dearest wish of the Age staff, safe in Melbourne, and let Muslim terrorists murder Israeli's, and then Israel discusses this forever with the terrorists concerned.

How many of the 6,500 Hamas rockets fired into Israel, the Age would be willing to accept crashing into their new office complex, they didn’t say.

Derek: That’s cos they were all gorging on Jaspin’s cock, mate! They’re all Lefty cunts, the fucking lot of 'em!

Clive: Exactly, Derek. A few quotes from the dirt bag editor, Derek. “It must be hoped that they, [the Joooos] do not seriously believe that a religious and political movement such as Hamas can be eliminated by blowing up buildings and killing non-combatants alongside intended targets such as Sheik Rayan”.

Derek: Lovely. Quite. Real pro-terrorist fuckers, ain’t they?

Clive: But of the right and completely acceptable kind, Derek. By default, Hamas are not a religious group, as they follow Islam, which is not a religion, but a total doctrinaire ideology for relentless warfare, founded by a paedophile rapist, mass murdering and totally insane bandit way back in the 7th century. Of course he had a more negative side too.

Hamas is an Islamic fascist terrorist and mass crime organisation, dedicated entirely to the murder of every Jewish man, woman and child and the annihilation of Israel by any means. Because most Palestinians voted for Hamas, and 80% of them said they will never be happy until all the Jews are all dead and Israel is gone, they too are naturally part of this death cult.

The outrageous slur that the Israeli’s are targeting civilians by the disgusting pages of the Age, will never be brought to account. Nope, the MSM is untouchable, especially by facts or ethics, because they are our betters, Derek.

Derek: So the Age says if Israel just gave Hamas a big hug and let said Muslim loons kill everyone in Israel, that would amazingly create peace?

Clive: It would certainly get rid of the only free and succesful country in God's Monkey House of the Middle-East. Sadly Derek, the ONLY way of ending Hamas etc, is to completely break their will to murder children. One does this by killing every Hamas geek, destroying their entire infrastructure and leadership, removing their finances and converting and normalising the entire region, and teaching them a useful trade or macrame for instance.

This is known as victory, Derek. The MSM prefers that Jews die en masse on behalf of the moral vanity of editorial staff. This is known as defeat. Are you ok Derek?

Derek: I’m just filling my bucket.

Clive: I see you have a picture of Jaspin on the bottom of your vomit collector.

Derek: The Age is a fucking vomit collector mate!

Clive: Here's another quote from the moral abyss of Al Age, Derek. “Whether or not Hamas fighters use civilians as shields...” They do and the editors know it. Note how they believe and make up any vile fantasy about Jews, but are monstrously disingenuous about Islamic mass murderers who teach teenagers to behead people live on film.

These cunts spout like Pavlovian dogs, the dead canard of your average neo-Marxist circus freak known as the two state solution. Presumably so Hamas has a permanent rocket base with which to destroy Israel and by instant demographic superiority. Much of the MSM are Israeli despising, Hamas apologising, unchanging moral equivalence and inverted arse hats.

Derek: What other toilet candy did you find in the piss trough of the Age, Clive?

Clive: Richard Gott the unrepentant Marxist scumbag thinks Cuba is just swell. Gott the twisted fuck said and I quote, “like hundreds I could not wait to get there...” But as per usual not fucking stay there of course. He clearly loves the “youthful guerrillas...especially Che”, the dead Commie bastard.

Che the child killer Guevara who loved to shoot unarmed boys in the head. Che the narcissistic coward and imbecile who had a wall removed so he could watch the firing squads.

The Left is in love with the ugly fascist totalitarian killer Fidel, because he sells them an eagerly believed big lie of free Cuban medical care etc. There is none. Thus Fidel goes to Spain for private care, when he’s not running his island wide Mafiosi monopolies, or the 300 prisons he’s built.

Gott thinks it’s great to be black in Cuba. The worst thing to be on Cuba is black, homosexual or any kind of free minded and normal individual. Thus the longest serving political prisoner in the world is a black Doctor, kept in a toilet sized cell for decades. Gee, for handing out the works of the late Martin Luther King. Oh, the bloody irony.

Che despised blacks, hated long haired hippies and loved murdering rock and roll bands, as does the Cuban dictatorship of fat fuck Fidel.

Derek: The Age is for boring, conceited urban arseholes and phonies.

Clive: Exactly Derek. More venal quotes from Gott who was as he says one of the “Cuban enthusiasts of my generation...” He was “disillusioned” with Castro going Soviet which he always clearly was, instead of that nice fascist Marxism based on mass murder, lies, conformity, spite, envy and insanity.

It was America’s fault Gott und Himmel says: “Faced with the implacable hostility of the United States, he decided that he had no alternative except to ally himself with Moscow”.

And even though following Soviet idiocy and every other kind, ruined Cuba completely, especially with Che the psychopath running the economy into the ground and the people via execution into mass graves, to Gott the fucking arsehole shit, prick, geek and turd, it’s still all America’s fault. To every Marxist Leftard shithead and their timeless fraud, NOTHING is ever a Communist dictator’s fault, unless of course and entirely by accident, something actually works .

Got goes to Cuba and finds it unsurprisingly “unchanged” and “preserved in aspic”. This Marxist and treasonous cunt then says: “...nothing seemed to have changed-one of the unique and neglected charms of Communism”.

Not enough to live there. No, that inhuman Hell experiment is strictly for Cubans.

Oh there’s so much more. Cuba has "An intelligent, healthy and well-educated population..” Which is technically true. They're all dead or in Miami though.

Sadly for Cubans, a Communist collective idiocy education is naturally less than worthless.

Permanent starvation and despair is the truth of Cuba, thus the delightful 75% abortion rate. You can never have enough abortions if your Left, mate.

80,000 men, women and children drowned trying to escape Cuba, two million fled to exile and thousands oppressed, spied on 24/7, tortured, exploited, executed without any trial and 150,000 prostitutes for visiting celebrities and tourists etc. There were 10,000 in 1959.

Currently many of the prostitutes are now children, Derek.

Pre-revolution Cuba had 11 jails. Now there's 300 prisons on a tiny island. Remember, to a Left hero of the people, one Guantanamo with a high level of nutrition and health care than most Cubans ever receive is worse than any of the large scale torture and murder factories throughtout the Mid East.

That's even without the tiny percentage of a few crap personell out of a half-million standing US army, who were arrested and court marshalled. But 300 permanent Cuban torture chambers and firing squad pits for men, women and children as long-standing extreme government policy for half a century, are entirely acceptable.

Gee, any bad apples in Cuban jails that have been exposed in the Western MSM and naturally punished by Fidel for violating Stalinist values? Nope, only promoted to government positions. Still, thee are all those stylish Che the child killer t-shirts. That's the main thing.

Gott says Cubans are “slow to attack the revolution or the leadership”. That’s because you will be arrested and shot.

Gott says "there revolution has been a peaceful affair”. No, really. Apart from the blood and screaming day and night for fifty years.

Gott the fuck out of here ends by saying Obama visiting Cuba will be a hoot, implying that he too loves a half-century of Cuban Marxist Murder Incorporated.

“...an event as spectacular as that moment 50 years ago when Castro and Guevara acknowledged the plaudits of the crowd: the dawn of hope”.

Derek: So Gott is your bog standard Marxist fucker living high on the hog in the free West, and I’d like to kick his fucking teeth in and arrest him for treason. How come he’s such a cunt and the Age sees fit to publish him?

Clive: He’s from the Guardian.

Derek: Oh, of course. Any other filth?

Clive: Yes. Not so oddly, the mediocrity and Taquiyaa pusher for Islam Murder Inc...

Derek: Waleed Ali!

Clive: Exactly. Well, Ali went to Japan to find an angle for his absurd and bankrupt sub-Socialist and anti-Capitalist drivel.

Derek: Why Clive?

Clive: Simple Derek. Old baloney pants needs the Islamist bedfellows of the Left and their totally discredited neo-collectivist non-economic fantasy’s a la Utopia.

Control a destroyed economy via control freak and ever bigger government and you control the people very easily because they're broke. That way the Left can enable their pals the Muslim loons to Islamise the parts of the state that they haven't Marxoided. It’s a brilliant ploy and plan, and only someone as smooth, two-faced, manipulative and mediocre as Waleed Ali can do it. Thus any shit he scrawls gets published in the blank pages of Al Age, the Toorak Marxist and Islamist Taquiyaa tract of choice.

Derek: Jesus fucking Christ! Could it get any worse?

Clive: Oh it will Derek, it will. Just like in Eurabia, Londonistan and the never get of here alive Netherlands.

Derek: [On piano] Oh Jaspin came into my room and sat upon my bed...