Friday, 20 March 2009

When does a church full of Jew haters become a Jew hating church?

Jesus shows the only effective way to first help the oppressed and then enable them to stay free. Capitalism, democracy, good lawyers and the laughter of victory come to the armed and undefeated. Why have the Jewish people not all been murdered by Muslims, Marxists and Nazis et al? And why is Israel still a free and beautiful place? Because of Judaic brains, decency and the latest weapons.

Ok. First up, a couple of weeks ago I was invited to a rather flash inner-city terrace house for a kind of dinner and meeting thang organised by a bunch of decent Christians who genuinely er, support Israel per se. It’s always nice to go anywhere that isn’t filled with the filth of anti-Semitism. It's odd innit, the idea of not supporting Israel and not being called the scumbag pro-terrorist you invariably are.

Now these Christian folks were nice enough people and very sincere I’m sure, but all rather Kumbaya. Know what I mean?

Soon as I arrived I thought oh, oh, four hours of listening to Christian neo-folkoid music CD’s with all the Soul of a loaf of Wonder Bread? No! I call it anti-Funk. Lots of yodelling birdie tenor voices and the same natural rhythm as an unpacked IKEA desk. Ah, add Bulgarian throat singing and it’s a perfect evening of musical hell.

Man, I had to do something short of suicide. There’s or mine. I searched through their extensive CD collection. Extensive in that it extended a certain physical distance, but somewhat shorter musically. Beethoven, Christian, Brahms, Handel, Christian, Handel, Christian, oh, Bach! More Christian and one lonely Louis Armstrong remainder bin collection for $3.99 with food stamps.

Just had to go home and get Mary J. Blige, the J.B’s AKA James Brown’s backing group, Marvin Gaye What’s Goin On and A Treasury Of Polka! Er, no. I haven’t listened to Polka ever since it went out of style really, but the hostess with the leastest musical cool took one look and said without a trace of joy at what she saw, “Oh no, no!” Soul, R&B or funk is not something that really seems to occur in dag city I gues.

Er, it’s after 7pm says I, how about some adult sounds and not perky perky jerky jamboree? No dice. It was gonna be the soundtrack to a daft generation.

This is hopefully the final and rather pointless time I ever attend meetings to allegedly fight Sharia creep, Jew hatred and Marxism etc. When I look at a room of slightly clueless mostly dear old souls and a few scattered young non-groovers, I’m sorry, but I do have somewhat of a reduction in confidence.

Now the caveat is that it largely IS Christians and like these good people through organisations like the Barnabas Fund and many others, who do utterly selfless and truly Christian work around the world, raising money and physically supporting millions of the persecuted and threatened. And they do this at great risk, for free and with 100% authentic Christian witness in their hearts and minds. No, really. Look it up.

But what’s with the doomed to be a victim attitude and the eagerness to convert others to said victimhood? Hmmmm? Go figure.

General George S. Patton said it best: “Nobody ever won a war by dying for their country. They won them by making the other son of a bitch die for theirs”.

Why did so many people die in Mumbai? Cos no one had guns, not even the Police really, except for a few WW1 relics and straw shields! Thus a dozen men hijack a city of millions for days, while they sexually mutilated Jews. Ah, the Jews that the Christians for Hymie are gonna er, “help”. Cos again, the Muslim terrorists had jeepers, MODERN ASSAULT RIFLES and explosives etc.

So anyhoo, we begin to eat outside and I had apparently come here to help eat sausages. The meeting starts and someone comes out with an acoustic guitar case. This is a great sign with Django Reinhardt at a French club circa 1948, but maybe a bad sign possibly recreating a scene from Flying High.

I’m much more of a “praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!” kinda guy really. There’s an incredible amount of default hand wringing by Christians for persecuted and murdered minorities of Christians and others, who are continually persecuted and murdered by usually gee, Muslims. What they fail to notice is something a five year-old could see. The Muslims have guns and the Christians do not.

Thus the ample shooting by Muslims of said Christians and the lack of shooting BACK by Christians, resulting in said Christians being shot dead en masse. Nope, they invariably babble about "sending prayers", but never any AK47’s.

The Muslims have both prayers and guns. Who woulda thought it possible, eh? Gosh. Amazing.

These were nice people, but the citizens of cuddly town were planning to show the Jew blamers for Jesus among their congregation the error of their thinking. Which I sadly was informed was rather shockingly many, and in an alleged Christian church yet. Why are they still in it? I'm still searching for a suitable local church myself, so any crawling anti-Semitism either mild or overt, would mean off the slim list, chum.

The basic idea was to convert folks from hating Jews to loving Jews, cos’ Jews have done good things to put it mildly, and it’s not Christian to be a er, a Jew hater. That’s great, but empirical mega achievements aside, I like Israel and the Jewish people firstly cos’ it’s insane to be an anti-Semite, and secondly because we’d be sorely diminished to fucked up without them. And thirdly cos’ I like ‘em. Yep, I'm a Zionist, baby!

So anyway, when a serious point of harsh reality came up as they do and did, the virtual default was “pray to the Lord for guidance as he will [no doubt about it!] show us the way”. Yeah, prayer. That ALWAYS works.

No, not read up, research and analyse the subject and maybe damn well listen to people who do know what the hell they’re talking about. No. Be an embarrassing twerp and petition the Lord with prayer. Whatever.

I asked what the chuckle circle had read and clicked off titles, authors and specialists all very well known, and if one wants to know ones arse from ones elbow, BLOODY essential. One guy had read Mark Steyn’s America Alone which was neato, but the rest were er, rather blank and oddly incurious. Oh that’s right. The “Lord” is gonna do all the reading for them. Check. Nuance.

Handy that eh? So wail away dear little naïve cadets and carry on. My un-gentile interjecting with mere terrifying facts was NOT well, appreciated per se.

“Shut up!” they said. It’s curious that some Christians can have an amazingly passive approach to their faith. Not the real thing per se, but easier, self-satisfying, cheap and you can even do it together in rows of uncomfortable seating. What do I know?

After I detailed my grim and apocalyptic experience at the January 18 Jihad and Marxist creep fest in Melbourne CBD, they said that next time they were going to “have a presence there”. Riiiight.

Before or after you get your asses thoroughly kicked? YOU be sainted for the Lord. Count me out, bub.

Well, it went on ad nauseum. Apparently their church is practically sprinkled with clueless and casual anti-Semites.

Hey, don’t cha know Christianity can be muscular, intelligent and tougher than a Mother? Guess not. The urge is to be gentile. Yeah, that’ll work just dandy with Islamist freaks and Marxist readers of Rules For Radicals.

Their er, “plan” such as it was, involved speaking to each wrong headed funster member of the congregation ONE AT A TIME and saying “Gee, you know you’re wrong about your insane and stupid bigotry!” Like der.

And this will take approximately 200 years to get through the people alive today. Good luck with that.

Cos apparently it’s just “ignorance” and that old canard of “misunderstanding” that makes otherwise decent and respectable people er, hate Jews. Maybe. Ya never know. Er, no.

“Excuse me mein Fuhrer. Just a moment of your time if you don’t mind.

Jews are actually great and interesting people, even Mr Bernstein from accounting. They’re responsible for much of the wonders of the modern world from medicine, technology, aerospace, physics, maths, science, engineering, biotechnology, philosophy, music, film and literature etc, etc. And this is out of all proportion to their population percentage. Thus 14 million people have 159 Nobel Prizes. More than any other group of people.

Oh yes, and all that Jews controlling the world junk? That’s strictly for insane and boring nihilist envy freaks and perverts like you, mein nutty Fuhrer. Fair enough?”

Hitler: “Now you put it that way I see exactly what you mean! I’d never thought of it that way. I see now that I was mistaken. A mere misunderstanding if you will. Hey, let’s go get some knish at Goldstein’s bakery! I want to show them that I can be a jolly fellow too!”

“Get your own group!” I was told rather mockingly.

Hey, my group’ll have brains and hair, bub! So there! Nya nya! But sadly I couldn’t stay any longer as they threw me out! Ah, their faith was sorely tested and found wanting. I’m sure they’re going to be a powerful ally to the state of Israel and can cancel that order for the extra tank division. Cos' Christians have acoustic guitars! “Do any of you seriously comprehend what Israel is facing?” Not if it’s too impolite, no.

"Hey, General! We need a diversion. Send in the chums for Israel brigade and play their latest CD loud".

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