Saturday, 2 May 2009

Local Muslim community protest against Islamic terrorism, held in undisclosed elevator.

Yep, it was standing room only at the recent Muslim anti-terror protest. "What do we want? Blame everyone but ourselves! When do we want it? I'm not sure as I used my mobile for a bomb timer, but I know it's all the Jews fault!"

"I’m beginning to think that everything causes terrorism: 1. Free Speech. 2. Kermit the Frog. 3. Britney Spears. 4. The price of arugula. 5. Those stupid looking Smart Cars. 6. Women wearing sweatpants with “juicy” written on their bums. 7. Debates about Creationism/evolution. 8. The Oscars. Everything causes terrorism, except you know, terrorists and their stupid beliefs". mjk on Hotair July 30, 2008.

Dear sports, here's a laugh from 14 September 2008. You remember that day? It was in all the papers.

“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death”. Joan D. Vinge.

Mohammad: Alright. We’re all here then?

Mohammad: Allah Akbar!

Mohammad: Great. Ok. I think I speak for all of us when I say I totally condemn terrorism.

Mohammad: Absolutely, Roger, er Mohammad. Who doesn’t?

Mohammad: Thanks Mohammad. And I believe we all want to eliminate not only terrorists but the causes of terror as well?

Mohammad: Couldn’t agree more, old cheese.

Mohammad: And I believe that our Muslim scholars have identified both of these things.

Mohammad: Naturally. What hasn't the superior Islamic faith discovered? I mean our last big discovery was literally the idea of zero! And even less since! Ha, ha! But I digress. Now whose been cutting off all those heads and blowing up girls schools and so on?

Mohammad: I’m afraid it’s as our superior Islamic Universities suspected all along. It’s the Jews.

Mohammad: Excellent. So now we know what to protest about. I knew no Muslims were ever involved in terror. Outrageous!

Mohammad: So it’s unanimous then? Let the protest against terror begin!

Mohammad: Wait! We need a slogan!

Mohammad: Er, what about “Stop Terrorism! And really, it has nothing to do with Islam and Muslims, so don’t even think it. Not even a bit. No, really. It doesn’t. No. Even if you have millions of photographs, documents, a massive death toll and a crushing empirical Himalaya of profoundly researched and analytical evidence, it’s still not true. Just dismiss it. Please? Or we’ll kill you. And anyway, it’s all the Jews”.

Mohammad: It’s a bit long.

Mohammad: Ok, what about this one from Mohammad? “I am made triumphant through terror”.

Mohammad: I admit it’s got a certain sparkle , but anything else? Perhaps more Cabaret?

Mohammad: Here’s a Koran one. “Qur’an 3:151: "We shall cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve”.

Mohammad: It’s good but something more, I don’t know, short, catchy and to the point.

Mohammad: Hey! “Death to the Infidels! Allah Akbar!”

Mohammad: I like it!

“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth”. George Bernard Shaw.

“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell”. Harry S. Truman.

And now for something completely the same, the Official Danish Apology to the many heartwarming Muslims who were outraged by pencil drawings, but curiously, not by a single murder, beheading, mutilation or bomb blast. Go figure.

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