Green Left Weekly Prints Rhetoric Free Edition On Postage Stamp.

In case of media scrum, point in the air and pull back side bolt.

[Scroll down for my many a fun-filled maybe not so fake news headlines.] Sometime during 2007, the The Age er, 'newspaper' advertised that they were looking for new cartooning talent! Riiight, sure they were. What a coincidence! I'm not looking for new cartooning talent either. So, I sends in me vastly superior scrawls, ahoy! The matron handling this phony pantomime was actually very nice. She said my stuff was interesting, original, funny, exciting and entertaining. In short, none of the things they were looking for. So no dice.

Quite a surprise, eh? About as surprizing as the ABC's 7:30 Report.

She asked me what I thought about their long term cartoonist, Michael Leunig. As I was only in the early stages of grovelling for the potential to non-existent um, position, I was very Diplomatic. I avoided saying things like what a neurotic, spittle flecked, repetitive, twisted and boring leftist nitwit freak the eager Israel and Jew-hating Leunig is. But I would never say that. I guess these are the current specs for, and I kid you not, a "National Treasure". I would've been bitter if I could've gotten over the boredom of bothering at all. Aah, but I was like a foolish young schoolgirl.

"Love me! Publish me! And pay me!"

Hey, around the same time as this non-career move, Instapudit from pajamasmedia "Instalanched" me! It was Saturday 30 September 2007. I remember it well. I'd just come back from safari and my head man Kawili, informed me that there had been some lion trouble at a local village. Lifting my rifle and reaching for my propeller hat, I...

Er, no. That young Glenn Reynolds lad is incredible, is he not? I dedicate this post to Glenn and Doc Roper at gmroper. The Doc graciously quoted a line of mine on his banner head from an old post, titled "I am the Ghost of the Endless Sadness of the Ordinary People". The quote is "Peace and freedom come only through superior firepower, not absurd and suicidal ideas of 'inclusiveness' regards your mortal enemy".

I also direct ya'll to John Ray at his brilliant blog called 'dissectleft'. And hey, he does just that. He nicely linked to me and of course, everyone is all in the swingin' and groovy links. Dissectleft ties in perfectly with Dr Sanity. Yep, there is also er, sometimes, the Australian newspaper. It's 40% readable!

Speaking of conservative folks and er "right wing bastards" like me, check out one of Australia's station wagon full of conservative and semi-conservative pundits and columnist's, Andrew Bolt. Old Andy is often called a "Fascist!" by the ironically mob-mentality left axis of mediocrity. Curiously, such default ad hominem's are usually made in absentia of having actually read him.

My personal favorite Australian columnist is Iowahawk pal Tim Blair, regularly praised by Mark Steyn.

Andy a fascist you say? Who knew? Of course he is, dear. Worse than 10,000 Hitler's. Only last night Bolty and I arrested 15,000,000 people, shipped 'em of to the Siberian Gulags, expanded the government to enormous totally controlling proportions, and nationalized all industries like er, socialists.

Without fail, spoiled, affluent twerps screeching "racist! fascist! kiosk attendant" is your virtual scientific proof that in reality, said twits have neither proof nor reality on their side. And relentlessly familiar turf for the enormous talents at the peoples cube.

Andrew is a surprisingly shy, decent, intelligent individual - a hard working often courageous family guy and is more often right than wrong, which is not bad for someone who is a bit of a dilettante and actually a semi-conservative. Nonetheless, like a lot of mature adults he admits the facts of life are relentlessly conservative. He's online with a cool blog and forum, is great value and can be found twice a week at the odd little tabloid newspaper, the Herald Sun in Melbourne. One can often read the Sun's entire news section before you get your change.

One of the hardest working journalist's in Australia, [there's about eight] - good old Bolt beat me to it and posted some of the following fake news headlines under the cool header of "Just the fact's, Ma'am". Thanks Andy. How does he do it all? I have enough trouble doing my laundry.

"Colonel Robert Neville discovers headlines to amaze". Andrew Bolt.

But there's the rub, boyo. The Herald Sun often has some nice supplement's. And as tabloid's often seem to do in the midst of their relentless churning of the grist for the mill, still manage in their cheap way to reflect a little more of the ordinary people's desires and fear's than say, the regularly unreadable The Age. Because for The Aged, that would be so, gauche.

Editor in Chief of a dying medium: "Cartoon's, eh? You say you write as well? Yes, they're all very nice uh, Colonel Nibble is it? But I'm afraid it's not really what we're looking for here at blank pages of The Age newspaper. Or as we like to call it, The People's Glorious Broadsheet!' 

Here at Bunkumville, we're very firmly committed to the cutting edge of the excitingly average, the incompetent yet shallow, the delightfully biased and the entirely predictable. Add a charming sheen of professional slowly bankrupting dullness, and wow - it's something! Of course, many of our contributors and employees are indeed highly professional bores. Many with over three years of tedious and whacko 'journalism qualifications' under their cheap vinyl belts. 

Quite frankly, we believe in tradition, like the tradition of pretty much always favoring the same old Left dullards. And why not? That's the demandingly high standards of the art of journalism in Oz, I'm afraid. And you just don't measure down, er, up you see? Oh yes, she's a harsh Mistress is the old hackery. 

Now, if only you could be as stupid, bigoted, bereft, deluded, backdated, clueless and plain crazy as say our cartoonist, Michael Leunig for example, or as comfortably smug, nihilist and gleefully spiteful as our wonderfully pudding-faced  Catherine Deveny, then we could talk. Yep, yapping ad nauseum, see? Yap, yap, yap, yap".

Colonel Neville: "I'll give it my best shot!" 

Remember folks, your mind can be saved even after university.

A Load Of Old Fake News Headlines. [Ain't they nearly all?]


Kitchen sink drama actually about kitchen sink.

Child prodigy violin ensemble filled with kiddie fiddlers.

Serious art film director makes 'real life' drama about diarrhoea.

Activist admits to having no real interest in 'the people' just hates parents.

Alcoholic street beggar spends money on pie not liquor.

Bangladeshi man receives telemarketing call from Australia during a convenient time at own request.

Fifty percent of child bride marriages end in divorce due to immaturity and senility.

Unattractive man finds bathroom mirror reflection unattractive.

Woman accuses deaf, blind and mute husband of being argumentative.

Worlds most boring man enjoys own company.

Successful expatriate expresses humility and gratitude to home country.

Achievement of Che the child killer Guevara discovered.

Girlfriend’s drawer contains no ugly menstrual underwear.

The Age newspaper not dull and entirely predictable. “The Age newspaper is not dull and entirely predictable” says Editor.

Obnoxious bar drunk draws line at making loud song requests of pianist.

Bogans ask cover band to stop playing AC/DC and Cold Chisel songs.
[Cold Chisel were a very successful working class R&B rock band, that were extremely musically competent and talented. Hence, they were mostly always profoundly unpopular with inner-city hipsters et al. Being a fan may become an ironic pose at any time and conversely, "Chisel!" may become extremely popular for several weeks with said groovers. A bogan is a working class guy whose only crimes are being unfashionable and clueless regards the contemporary.]


Couple in long-term relationship never break wind in front of each other.

Conceptual artist concedes the concept of audience conceiving enjoyment and understanding worth considering.

Rare tawny owl legitimate reason for bulldozing woodland.

Good looks of otherwise conceited and vacuous girl still satisfying after two months.

Entire high school staff well dressed in contemporary fashions.

Magician makes instant coffee.

Four year-old not amused by loud flatulence.

Dreadlocks at private school worn by actual Jamaican.

Entire Latin American road system now chicken truck free.

Hyperbole mostly exaggerated.


Monkey at zoo maintains dignity.

Goat at Satanic ritual replaced with parrot.

Fugitive outlaws find Mexican village, mission and church all in good repair but no plaintive guitars.

Radical aware of empirical difference between Prime Minister and Hitler.

Protester has nothing to complain about personally.

Irish priest neither jovial nor taciturn.

No zoot suits worn on Skid Row.

Leftist admits to living in comfortable democracy not fascist dictatorship.

Violent ‘Eat the rich’ protests in city do not leave private schools deserted.

Teenage Goth prefers Hawaii.

Cavalry’s arrival worsens situation.

Vandal buys private property complains about graffiti.

David Irving fabricated past decency.

People in kitchen at parties most light-hearted.

Former President just older not a statesman.

Former Prime Minister silent.


Left comedian finds performing to a predominantly left audience ‘challenging’.

Chaser World Tour ridiculing Islam cancelled due to death of entire cast.
[The Chaser is a satirical left leaning ABC TV show.]

Chasers World Tour ridiculing Christianity cancelled due to indifference and Dave Allen Tour.

World improving since brick thrown through fast food chain window by student protester.

Over 99% of statistics are meaningless.

48% of people have some point of difference to the other 52%.

Most cases of neglect are negligible.

The average life expectancy of aborted babies has remained stable.

One in three people feel the odd one out.

Most younger siblings find constant wedgies confidence building.

Cat entering front door without hesitation shows no signs of aloofness.

Talking parakeet in comedy film not dubbed.

Light-hearted passage found in Russian novel.


French film not about French.

Italian film uses coherent dialogue sparingly and when relevant.

Hong Kong movie stays in single genre.

Indian film needs to be seen in sequence.

English film confident and positive about being English.

Swedish film light-hearted and entertaining.

Israeli film from 1960’s found not starring Topol.

Australian film watched.

Japanese film not crazy.

Welsh film.

No Maoris in violent New Zealand film.

Documentary hopes to not change or effect anything.

Recipient of government grant loves government.

Advertisement clearly explains limits of product.

Teenage diary filled with insight, inspiration and compassion for parents.

No irrational contributors to newspaper letters page.


Communist writes business plan.

Pop musician says that economic policy and geopolitics are beyond his abilities.

Yes man fails to impress Boss.

Middle-management challenges status quo.

Lower level employee advances due to constructive criticism and new ideas.

Middl-aged dad fails to comment on kid feeling like an ice cream.

Middle-aged dad’s life empty of corrosive criticism and filled with incredible sex.

TV network hires talented innovator indefinitely.

Artist inspired by the mundane compromises of life.

Clones reaching consensus on cloning want more clones, more clones, more clones.

Group of female friends finds focus on gossip and complaining tedious and limiting.

Weekly women’s magazine talks science, geo-politics and poses philosophical questions.

Bob Brown talks in depth.
[Ecofascist Australian Green's Party nitwit yet fraudulent ex-leader.]

Bob Ellis rational, coherent and sober.
[Old, addled, verbose, fucked-up Australian Labour Party drunk.]

Peter Garret silent after dumping dated rhetoric, hyperbole and party line.
[Ex-wooden front man of Oz rock band, now a more entertaining Labor Party man in charge of Department of Burning Down Houses and Electrocuting People to Death.].


Movie star researches facts on pet hobby horse.

Friday night Chapel Street Commodore contains female.
[Popular Melbourne inner-city street and lout magnet. A Commodore is the oft favored four-door sedan of said louts.]

Friday night cruise cars mostly driven by the mature and intelligent.

Working-class suburbs mullet free.

Inner-city no longer smug and condescending.

Inner-city opinions entirely connected to real world.

Sean Penn shows patriotism and gratitude to USA not Latin American despot.

Sean Penn stops beating girlfriend takes on passing teamsters.

Hollywood stars held accountable for past statements and actions.

Jane Fonda no longer neurotically inclined to treason: “I want to be remembered as Washington Jane” says Fonda.

Susan Sarandon not an addled old tart says Sarandon: “I’m going to stop this illegal war and logically I’ll support putting the Baathists back in power by showing my breasts at the March for Peace through Comfortably Affluent Delusion, Treason and Stupidity” said Susan.

Michael Leunig does cartoon condemning Islamic terrorism and communist dictatorships.

Michael Leunig dumps street wino look corduroy and jumper set. “Let’s face it. I look like a crazy, deluded, indulged and indulgent old fool. I’m gonna get some great adult style guidance from Carson Kressley” said Mike.

Michael Leunig not looking like an elderly Jewish woman woken at 3:AM.

Bono not the focus of pointless political leader meetings.

Bono and U2 finances not entirely in Bahamas tax haven. “That would make me a celebrity hypocrite and a phony” said Bono.

Bob Geldof caring and tactful to people he has actually met.”I realised that acting the sour and world weary pop star doesn’t hide the fact that I’m a very successful sour and world weary businessman” said Bob.

Parkinson finds celebrity guests anti Bush rhetoric not funny. “Two out of three guests say the same predictable stuff so I have to fake it to laugh at all” said Michael.

Critics of capitalism not supported entirely by capitalism.

Socialised medicine great for patients.

Brain drain stops due to drain clogged with brains says plumber.

Japanese sense of humor trials to begin.

The Invasion of the Body Politic Snatchers. They're Here!

Avoid expressing yourself around left, liberal and radical variants as they believe in a "diversity" of their own opinion and not yours or mine.

.

They're here!

I live in the inner-city and I know many people who at first seem just like regular people. They wear their underwear on the inside of their pants and can tie their own shoelaces. They eat food, watch TV and have jobs. Very few devote gleeful spare hours to kicking boxes full of puppies. That's more my thang. But there’s something different about many of them and it’s not always apparent at first. I have uneasily noticed it more and more as I have learnt and thus changed, always reading voraciously as I research this er, global phenomena.

The first sign is that they're not really that prone to showing enthusiasm and joy. No really. I mean real uninhibited energy and an excitement about the future and its potential. Basically, being a damned complete and alive human being. It’s as if they're living in a depressive envelope with some idea that life as it is, is all wrong, basically doomed and cancerous and must therefore end. And at the same time there's an odd smug conceit, as if there is an inevitable 'truth' to their nightmarish viewpoint. 

There's also the creepiest implied undertone, unspoken, but it’s clearly all there in their posturing. It is assumed that they are part of a growing under-group inexorably destined to reach critical mass and you, and everything about you is irrelevant and expendable.

Now, they don’t say anything as such in general conversation of course, unless you touch on almost any serious, important or adult topic. In the end though, you soon see that anything and I do mean anything, can be extrapolated onto their relentlessly negative and peculiar default stream of explanatory style. But usually you don’t even get the preamble. It’s just straight to the high pitched sound they all emit.

If you live in the inner-city as I said I do, there will be few people that you can talk to about this. Most people will look at you blankly and say, "I don't understand what you mean. I haven't noticed anything. It all seems normal to me". Well, it would. That's because many of them are er, THEM.

And just as in the best version of the movie ‘The Invasion of the Body Snatchers', [from 1974 starring Donald Sutherland] the instant you speak and reveal yourself as having any depth of individuality and difference, they point at you and their mouths open wide, denouncing you to the unseen crowd. But the shrill sounds they let out only mean something to them and their alien and alienated group of conformist and mirrored vegetable spawn. But it’s all supposed to be for our own good. They babble endlessly and without any logical end to their interference, and that we’ll all be perfectly happy in their coming Marxist product sodden, left liberal progressive, Utopian madhouse.

What they push out so intensely and with a strange unnerving sense of panic are not words at all. Not with any natural humanity, expression or purpose, but a mindless repeating of a siren that drowns out your own voice and thoughts while stating overwhelmingly and repeatedly, “Here is the individual, the original and truly authentic man, woman and child whom the group has not completely hypnotised, suffocated, absorbed and eliminated as superfluous to plan”.

How could a mass sprouting of inhuman freaks with such an empty mechanical mindset in an obvious marching group think and lockstep get to such a percentage without anyone noticing? And my God, they’re in such positions of influence; in our schools, government, media and entertainment and so on.

These things amongst us all repeat the same absurd, contradictory, cold, manipulative, robotic, mass produced, stupid and horrible lies. How could obvious frauds get such a foothold on the fertile, red blooded, natural and the decent? How did they begin supplanting the productive, democratic and rational life with their monstrously fake sounds, their empty gestures, insane modifications and rules that leave us open to invasion by millions of other variant spores of the same species?

Speak to many of them in the daylight and they can seem normal, reasonable, almost...life-like. Unless of course you use keywords that express virile reality, fecund, important human values and time-proven traditions, and then they will instantly and hideously reel back, pointing at you, their faces contorted like a stretched bladder, wailing their insane, continuous screech as they begin mouthing out endlessly:

“YOU ARE THE ENEMY! DESTROY THE CONSERVATIVE FREE INDIVIDUAL HUMAN BEING! OOOOAAOAOAAAAAAAH!”

I am the Ghost of the Endless Sadness of the Ordinary People.

What can I say?


   Everything I say in this cheap post has been empirically and entirely proven true and correct by John R. Lott's massive, scholarly and three decades of data sourced book 'More Guns [in the hands of law abiding citizens means] Less Crime.

I’ve wanted to write about this photo for a long time, how it connects to things and what it leads me to. My personal thoughts and feelings about it kinda stopped me writing anything at all for a while. When I look at it I feel a nausea and a lack of air, as if the room is clouded with paint thinner. It’s so profoundly terrible. I often find myself being mesmerised by it as if I have to find something that's in the details. That’s until, and this is important, until the sadness is rapidly replaced with an intense anger. But it’s all impotent, innit?

I can’t reach in and break the knees and neck of the freak with the weapon. The way the woman is kind of shielding and holding her kid so close with a crushing and selfless love. You can see it and feel it. I want to reach into the picture and pull them out. The way the kids legs dangle, just like I’ve seen my own kid and others in exactly the same way, like at the beach or park. It always leads me to think of many, many other incidents that have stuck in my mind over the years.

One of the first that comes to me is of the Jewish Mother, her two little girls and little boy. I think it was 2006 near or in Jerusalem. I've been trying to find this story recently, without luck. Anyway, they were driving along when they were fired upon by Islamic Militants. The car was stopped. The Mother was shot in the chest, dead. The Muslim freaks then came up to the car windows, shot the little boy sitting next to his Mother in the head and the little girls in the face. These two sweet, small sisters were found later with their little arms still hugging around each other.

I think of the courage, desperation, frustration, humiliation and fear of the fourteen year old boy who 'stood up' as best as a child can, to Che 'the child killer' Guevara, and was personally shot in the head, with much fanfare and glee, by Che' the narcissist, coward and fraud.

And like the nine year old female child soldier who escaped from guerrilla fighters in the Congo jungle. They caught her again of course, and made the other children literally bite her to death, tearing off her flesh piece by piece. I think about the 27 Iraqi children getting candy from US Marines being blown up by a car bomb and the people coming to their aid being blown up by a second planned car bomb.

Or the group of about 20 school girlfriends being grabbed by Serbian soldiers and taken to a hall where together, they were raped and stabbed to death. (And now the Kosovo Muslim Government is a growing Islamist Gangster Rackets & Enterprise State connected directly to Bin Laden etc, right in the heart of Europe. They traffic drugs, child sex slaves, arms, weapons, money, explosives, terrorists, Hell, you name it. And all under the protection of the UN!)

I remember reading an eye witness account by a British POW who saw at Auschwitz, a 17 year old girl on her knees being beaten down as hard as possible with a whip by a Nazi officer. I consider these things because they never leave me and they are all happening right now. The freak regime of North Korea experiments, tortures and executes entire families. Thousands of them. Iran has jails with two year olds in them. I think about the many Thai Buddhist monks currently being beheaded every week by Islamists. I think about them all as they tend to come to me seemingly without trigger. Yes, I consider them all, I do.

I think about how these murdered ordinary human beings always have one thing in common. They are all unarmed and no one came to their rescue.

How does this stuff come about? I know exactly how. Why do people say never again then do all the things that mean all it takes to happen again is for the murderous and deceptive to take the necessary steps? I see folks doing it now or more clearly, letting it happen. In fact, accommodation, appeasement, cowardice, self-loathing, cultural and security suicide, societal exhaustion and surrender is all that many have to offer. The same people are promoting extreme and absurd lies, pushing their fashionable and topsy turvy views, staging civil revolt, advocating hatred and serious violence against our own Democratic Governments, economies, institutions and societies.

There is a great poster showing Hitler, Stalin and Mao in a row. Underneath it says, ‘Dictators agree. Gun control works'. The reason this woman and her sweet child could be murdered is because she and the major parts of her society under attack were completely disarmed. The same logic applies everywhere and every time.

In Nazi Germany, China, North Korea, Iran, Burma, Saudi Arabia, Congo, Cuba, Zimbabwe, only the army and the authorities have their own freely used and absolute right to hold weapons. Unfortunately, in Australia, we are currently largely disarmed. No fully armed populace has ever been murdered en masse nor have they ever tolerated oppression for long. People who have civil government, economic freedom and guns are always free because it can't be taken away from them. Those without are not free because life continues only at the whim of those with the power, meaning the guns. A Totalitarian Dictatorship can do whatever they want to do to an unarmed civilian populace and they invariably do exactly that. True, real and lasting freedom is fully armed. As P.J O’Rourke said “Peace Kills”. In a real world that's not always so kind, peace and freedom come only through superior firepower, not absurd and suicidal ideas of 'inclusiveness' regards your mortal enemy.

Yes, trouble with guns. Checks on criminal and mental history are fine as far as I can see. Unfortunately this is pushed by anti-gun people who see this as just a first step to banning and controlling citizen’s rights to be armed. In Australia we no longer have that right and think what that can mean and what it has meant in world history. Consider that if everyone is unarmed, in reality it actually means that only the law abiding are defenseless. You can buy for around two to four thousand dollars, a really nice compact sub machine gun in the same way as you buy drugs or stolen property. Shotguns, rifles and handguns? Er, we are NOT living in a gun free one. Gun free zones end precisely when someone with a gun says so. I want to know why people are so eager to hand their personal protection to a thinly stretched and unreliable police force and the unstable ideology of changing political parties?

Do you know that in America, everywhere that gun ownership is common and even enforced; gun crime is low to non-existent? The reason the dysfunctional attack school and shopping centres is because they are still sane enough to know that schools are unarmed. Few NRA meetings, gun clubs, gun expo’s, towns where concealed guns are allowed or compulsory, gun shops, military bases, police stations and biker saloons are ever the victims of a single gun swinging bread dough lump with eyes and a grudge. It’s the same reason that gangs of youths don’t attack building sites filled with construction workers.

All crime is mostly about opportunity, incentive and payoff. Stop or greatly lessen all opportunity, incentive and payoff and you stop or greatly lessen crime.

Women who get into guns in a serious or professional way love what guns rather instantly give them; power. They seem to abandon ideology and voodoo pretty fast. The six shooter used to have engraved on its barrel “I Am The Great Equaliser”. And it was. The smallest woman with training was and is the equal and actual superior of any violent man, bully, killer, would be rapist or gang. Nobody talked down to Annie Oakley.

Women love the primal and sudden sense of power. Do you really believe in women’s rights, autonomy and freedom? Let women carry concealed guns and there will soon be almost no rapes and the women’s shelters will have room to spare. I have no problem with a woman defending herself and her family against a superior force with the help of Colt, Ruger and Smith & Wesson. Now apparently to some, guns are all about violence and machismo. Er, violence is an action so not all of it is negative. Try arresting dangerous criminals with no violence at all. Machismo is maleness, albeit exaggerated. It's dangerous and oppressive crap when it’s out of proportion. As it is in oppressive, lawless and crime ridden societies, often where women and children have little or no rights, power and influence.

There would be a lot less honour killings and acid thrown in the face of women if they were armed and ready. Rape as they say, is about power mostly, though I think it's also about violent and co-ercive sexual assault, to be honest. If you are prepared to use violence to avoid being assaulted it may stop you meeting the fate of a sheep or the one hundred and seventy million people murdered by Communism/Socialism, Nazism, Imperial Japan, Fascist Italy, Islamism and other Totalitarian Dictatorships. If you have some machismo at least of the level of balls and spine, you will probably not be one of the passive or terrified victims of crime and intimidation against your family, friends and society. Yes, I think it would be a little better if we took a few things a little more seriously and without so much lame compromise.

It’s funny, but people just try not to think about the kinds of things that can happen at any time and almost anywhere. You may be quite surprised how little protection you have and how few, to no rights you have to protect yourself effectively and decisively at all. It’s more likely you will be the one in serious trouble for protecting your own life, your family, property and rights. This is now the case in the UK where you literally can’t defend yourself effectively. Indeed you must be very careful to neither hinder nor upset your assailant. Many people have been prosecuted and jailed for defending their virtually absent rights during violent home invasions.

In England there are over 1350 Mosques. Over six hundred of them are controlled by an Islamist Imam who speaks clearly and openly about violent and armed civil war to make England entirely Islamist. I wonder what they may be stockpiling in those Mosques exactly? Ever tried to get the Police on a particularly busy full-moon Saturday night? Try it on a particularly busy Islamist Mayhem night.

Do you know that since July 2007, two thirds of new Police recruits in Victoria Australia, have been women? Er, from my experience, very few of the young Muslim and other men I came into contact with, seemed to think very of highly of women at all. Oh, they talked about it sometimes in their "what you want to hear" way, but er, not in practice really. What are all Muslim males like? I don't know but the impression can often be a bit of a drag.

These guys had little to no respect for Western women. They alternatively hated, lusted after and envied white women. As for women who to them, put in the blasphemous position of power over men? Um, they ain't really interested, pal. I found many of these guys abject cowards when faced down. They commonly went into obsequious overdrive at any real and serious show of unbending force. All the better for planning the sneak attack in the back, I found. They respected power only, baby, yes they do. Hence, the Mid-East being full of Central Casting brute 'leaders' only. So, the idea of the average female Police officer being able to project any real physical presence, authority and power to these chums is frankly, laughable. So, good luck on getting some assistance via Police muscle on 'Night of the Long Knives: Redux'. 

“Er, ok operator. I think I can hold off the local branch of Islamic Rage Boy’s with this egg whisk. But, do hurry, there's a dear”. You think it’s fantasy? I had the misfortune to have a café in a working class area filled with immigrants, many from Africa and the Middle East and so on without any discernible skills as far as I could see. If you see hanging out all day while the women looked after everything at home, yeah, they were professionals.

There were endless nights of marauding gangs with the Police unavailable, outnumbered or too plain scared to respond. I witnessed a lot of violence and intimidation by gangs of Arab, Muslim, Lebanese, Vietnamese and black African gangs of ‘youth’ as their virtual lifestyle. And man, the Police often meant nothing to them. One riot between rival blacks went on in the local CBD for five hours one night and toward dawn. What could we do? Cringe upstairs above our cafe where we unfortunately lived albeit temporarily, with the windows and curtains shut, trying to block out the joyful sounds of the local tax payer funded Mau Mau Rebellion Re-enactment Society.

No Police and not the slightest mention in the media, local or otherwise. Well, it wouldn’t be PC as they say. Therefore, it never happened. And um, there's quite a few more of these charmers there now and more on the way. Yeah sure, a lot of them were busy showing how much they hated each other, but they still found time to say how much they really hated Australia, white people and Jews. But especially white women and girls and how they were all whores and they were going to rape them etc, etc. Oh yes, a real delight. Aah, the rich tapestry of multiculturalism. The groovy and fun parts that are a nice part of your chosen ‘lifestyle’ are mostly it can seem, for the middle class. Yep, I love that Doctor from Ghana, the shop owner from Vietnam and the plumber from China. Not so crazy about the killer from Lebanon, the drug dealer from Sudan and his brother the serial rapist.

The poor, the working class and all the decent immigrants get the rather more ‘raw’ end of it, I guess. Er, trying saying this to many folks and you can see the turmoil in their faces, poor things. "But this is rocking my paradigm and associated assumptions! This is not what we were told! Where is Happy Land? I must go there. I think I'll have some nice pie. Yes, I'll have some pie". Well, rock on, Fluffy.

And what about hate? People prattle on about hate as if the wishful thinking of its absence in the perpetrators and even the victims will so wrong headedly stop oppression and mass murder. There’s nothing wrong with hating the right things, as you are much more likely to be motivated to act seriously and do something about it than the cringing, pleading or the fashionable apologists of the left.

If the millions of victims of mass murder hated their potential killer's with a great intensity and were all fully armed, they would not have mostly been murdered. You can be nice all you want all the way to a mass grave on the edge of a bulldozed pit, but your enemies will merely rub their hands with glee. These emotions are human and will never disappear, so you better, if you really care about the decent people around you, be on the right side of such passions. History surely repeats, especially if you try the same methods just that one more time, while forgetting the memories and not learning from them.

Dr. Shafer perfects the moral and rational vacuum.

Mohammed, a patient at Dr. Shafer's Clinic, is making great progress. The Doc believes in 'valuing' and seeing Mohammed's urge to murder unbelievers as an equally valid viewpoint as say Anglicanism, or even more so.

Dr. Shafer feels that without the discredited Western and 'Euro centric' ideas of 'objective judgement' clouding inter-faith dialogue, full 'inclusiveness' for Mohammed is not far off. Mohammed is pictured at last weeks Group Therapy Picnic. We say Allah Akbar, Mohammed!



Dear sports, this is my weedy response to a Dr. Alan Shafer who wrote and presented a classic tract of Left Academic PC vegetable drivel, non-response and apologia, regards 9/11 and Islamism etc. You can dig it all on his intellectual Hall of Mirrors website at alanshafer.com.

Yes, that's it. I feel better now. Anyway, it was nicely razzed by the good people at Islammonitor.org. It seems Dr Shafter and his ilk will be merrily prattling and spinning this kind of crap by the ream, right up until the 'Islamic Rage Boy's' are slicing off Aunt Doris's head on the steps of Flinder's Street Station. Apparently, these people are the 'professionals' who advise and guide, wait for it....us! A disgrace. But damn good for a laugh. We may even die laughing. Boom tish!




Dear Doc Shafer:

I’ve quoted them both many times before and here they are again. "The greatest flaw of the West is its ability to draw a moral equivalence between anything and everything. It really is an inability to see anything in due proportion". Mark Steyn.

Christopher Hitchens has said that the scandal of the 20th Century was that the intellectual elites never called Communist Totalitarianism what it was.

Regards your piece Doc, er, here goes. I believe you gave it the very snappy title of "Hate your neighbour as you hate yourself;(!) Prejudice and the Psycho-Politics of Divisiveness". And who said Academics weren't cool and couldn't swing? My fingers are clickin' already! I'm doo bee, doo bee doing it, Al baby! Hit it!

I can see it gathering dust at the Uni Library now. I think it comes with dust? Sprinkly, sprinkly. Doc! Your piece is an embarrassing and astoundingly crazy piece of moral relativism, no, really! Just your standard 'Ya jivin' me?' dhimmi style Islamist apologia. I believe they may have got the measure of it at Islammonitor.

Also check out dissectleft.blogspot.com, where the true mind set and sources of your virtual parody piece are described in great, precise detail and Fisked utterly.

I’m sure if I met you, you're a regular and basically good person. Er, kinda, maybe? Now there’s the problem right there. People who see themselves as good and maybe even are, and want to be seen as such, often cannot comprehend that there are people who are capable of relentlessly wicked and monstrous acts.

No, I don't mean the default juvenile hyperbole responses of "BushIsHitler!". I mean people whose permanent policy is to get explosively excited while relentlessly slicing off the heads of men, women and children and blowing up anyone and everyone into a thousand pieces in the name of Allah, Mohammed and Islam.

The 'good' people of Naiveland, Deluded Town and Disingenuousville can only seem to picture this hard and harder reality in a repetitive, bizarre, non-existant linkage to the people and agencies they think they know but actually don’t. Hence, the absurd attributions against our own government, the authorities and our institutions. Such a point of view is fatally flawed, totally ineffective and is ultimately doomed.

A merely intellectual position that is unwilling to believe in itself, that has nothing solid to believe in anymore cannot survive. If you believe there is no war, nothing worth defending, living or dying for and entirely no enemy, you will be swept away like grass, by the foe who has relied so surprisingly easily on just this strain of security and cultural suicide, to destroy us all.

Well Al, you can be helped but the first step is recognising you are ill! I know you can do it. Your mind can be saved even after University.

Yeah, you say you don't want to suggest that other groups don't have hateful elements but you er, don't want to actually, clearly and loudly document any of them. Yep, so it's Christian terrorists that have everyone so nervous at the airports then? Would they also be white too?

You criticized the President's post 9/11 speech and complained that there is "no complexity, no ambivalence or in between" in it and pointed out the bleeding obvious to the too lazy to notice anything else set, the "you are either with us or against us" line. The reason you may feel this way is because that is exactly the case and the reality of the World Trade Centre attacks. There is no "complexity, ambivalence or in-between" in such acts. The simple fact that you are so rarefied and pretentious as to be seemingly incapable of clearly seeing Islamism and 9/11 for what they are and mean, is EXACTLY your problem.

The President is entirely right to see this so simply, as you sneeringly say from your irresponsible and unaccountable pontificator's armchair. Simple means stripped of superflous distractions and pointless guff. It's imperative to be able to see raw reality as one does tend to, when faced with the rather stark facts of life or death. Make a choice, Bub. You'll have to sooner or later. George Bush always means what he says and quite frankly, the Prez has balls.

Oh, the merry ride into The Wonderful World of Islamism is gonna get much worse. But toodle toot, you say?

Where is the "in between" exactly? There’s no complexity in 19 affluent Islamists, believing utterly in the clearly unambivalent messages and imperatives of Islam and Mohammed. Unlike those whose only basis of reply is it seems the useless, neutered, fashionable, amorphous twittering of a kind of cultural nullity. Its reducto ad absurdum and auto apology all the way, folks.

These mass killers were all backed by the multi-millionaire playboy, mass murderer and ignorant fraud Bin Laden. The only complexity, ambivalence and in-betweens are to be found in your kind of ridiculous and obscene default position responses.

Why are you seemingly more concerned at what the President said than what 19 Islamic hijackers actually did? What is wrong with people like you exactly? Aren't you a little old to be so um, Undergraduate in your world view?

So, what part of 9/11 are you in favour of and 'for'? What Nazi and Imperial Japanese grudges would you have been happy to lend a sympathetic ear to?

What percentage are you 'not' with the people who oppose Islamist terror or are its victims? What percentage are you sympathetic to and 'for' Global Islamists objectives? What kind of terrorist act would you condemn and criticize without hesitation, without the small print?

My dear, when it comes to the crunch in any real test; the Left and Liberal is usually entirely theoretical and peculiar of mind, going instantly into extrapolation and a tediously predictable denial overdrive.

I guess anything to avoid making adult choices, eh? If one is witness to an assault, a rape, any active crime or disaster there are only two choices; act or not to act. Almost 3,000 murders? The meaning is entirely and wilfully inverted by you until it means zip, until wait,....the victims are equal to, or even worse than their murderers!

As you see, actions count Sparky, but to many, not 9/11 and so on. To you, only the actions of George Bush count as bad and there is no action of Al Qaeda and Islam that cannot be explained away as wait for it,...George Bush’s fault! The West’s fault! Christianity’s fault! Er, ya forgot this Islam stuff is 1300 years old and plenty of it on both Carter and Clinton’s myopic watch.

But once you start reassessing even one Left shibboleth, that particular soggy House of Cards will start to collapse completely. Then what’s an academic to do?

What do many believe in beyond seeming to believe in anything but their own cultural heritage? What would they act upon at the testing point? Where does their courage and conviction lay beyond the wasteland of deconstruction and theorising? This is partly why many Muslims can despise the West, because of the decadent fools who believe only in their own ideological posturing, their own moral vanity, unlike the serious followers of Islam, who believe utterly and are unshaken in their absolute fecund, virile cultural confidence. Consequently they're far more determined to act upon this than you can ever conceive.


Believe me; you would make a great satirical reference point. I couldn't make your stuff up. Couldn't! I think it's the pretence at 'balance' that throws it all out of whack so much. What makes your stuff so awfully laughable is that it has no identifiable humour and takes itself entirely seriously. How do you manage that? I guess you don't read any of it out loud.

Er, using your non-analysis and non-methods, aren't you projecting your hatred onto people who are not PC, not Left, not Liberal bog standard academics but can clearly see evil or gee, here's a thought, are actually EXPERIENCING it? Or is an abused child's hatred, a rape victims anger and the families of the thousands of victims of Islamist terrorism merely just 'projecting' something 'bad' within themselves? Alan, you have disappeared up your own fatuous abstracting, m'boy.

It's either morally disingenuous or plain wilfully ignorant to ignore, defend or apologise for the reality of the empirically, historically, relentlessly daily violence of Global Islamism and by default the truth of Mohammed. Mo and Islam are to Muslims one and the same. Mohammed was a rapist, paedophile, Jew hating marauding mass murderer who raped, crushed, burnt, dhimmied and destroyed two thirds of the then known world. So er, only good can come from that, eh?

Try thereligionofpeace.com just for starters. How can you seemingly not take these things seriously?

Those who make the effort to document and research Islam have the moral clarity, decency and reality that your absurd mental gymnastics and bankrupt, junk 'theory' are incapable of. I mean, you're about 57? How can you think like this? No secret. Live in a fantasy life completely supported by the system you despise. Maybe this is the best you can do and perhaps everyone you know 'thinks' the same? Well, don't put it out there on the Net if you don't want to be utterly Fisked, critiqued and slammed to some degree and at some point.



It's not always important to 'understand ' your opponent as it is to understand when you are in peril and be able to spontaneously and effectively destroy them. In a street fight it's irrelevant to 'know' your attacker. You should only concentrate on responding effectively to their words and actions.

The choices available to us are few. Firstly avoid conflict. This is empirically not an option. Global Islam is waging an asymmetrical and relentless war of aggression. The next is negotiation or compromise. This again is empirically not an option. The only 'demands' of Islamism are worldwide conversion to Islam, our Dhimmitude and death. So er, no. Not much there either. The next choice is face the reality of our mortal enemy and the harsh facts of our position. The next and only step is annihilate our opponent. I believe Sir Winston Churchill said it nicely.

"Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival". Winston Churchill.

At what point exactly would you consider victory over defeat? What it boils down to is that such a mindset is opposed to killing terrorist's but not opposed to endless ad nauseum critiques of those that Islam relentlessly attacks. Go figure.

What you have written is absolute bunkum and rubbish without merit or much decency, but you parade it as such. Some kind of morality? Er, it ain't. It's the kind of nullity, at best amorphous and rational vacuum that still manages to know instinctively when to usually pull its feeble and spineless punches; when it's Islam, any other problematic subject regards critique, or PC taboo.

One of the highlights of the criticism of your inverted piece that was Fisked heartily at Islammonitor, is under a picture of the mass graves of Bergen Belsen Concentration Camp. They've followed your own post-modern, post logic pretty much as you yourself have clearly stated it should be, in your turgid and largely unreadable essay. The caption reads; 'Victims of our unconscious being projected as hate towards the Nazi's'. Apt and pretty much says it all.

You can reply. I'd welcome it and I won't cut you off. I'd like to know what you have to say about the tosh you have put out. Anyone is welcome to criticize anything I put out, that's if they give a damn.

All the best Doc. Take two pills and call me in the morning.

Night Swallows West.

Dear sports, this is my feeble and amateur attempt at the first part of a short story. I really liked Richard Matheson's freaky and eerie classic, I Am Legend. Though I thought the vampire angle was a bit naff, while disturbing and beautifully well done. I just can't believe in 'em at all.

In fact, I often find horror fantasy neither scarey nor fantastic. More a neat allegory, or a preposterous and poor second to the harsh and disturbing facts of er, current reality. No, really. And I found the I Am Legend film a disappointing, utterly unconvincing and shallow CGI mistaken bore. But what do I know?

Now I thought that the idea of being the poor last bastard on earth and why, would be frightening enough and without the vamps. But what do I know? I hope you get a laugh out of it.





Chapter 1. A Figure On The Landscape.

A light breeze snaked past the open doors of a balcony and through the space between two heavy curtains, pushing them slightly inwards. There was almost no sound from outside and nothing passed within as the cool air drifted softly over the body of Sam Peeps, as he lay asleep in the half-light of the room. The sound of his own voice brought him to a kind of semi-consciousness, the partially shouted words unfolding rapidly in the shadows. With a wired shot, he sat up as his arms pushed out straight from his sides and pressed hard into the bed.

"There is no such thing as the Devil!", he said.

"Oh Christ. Day or night?" he wondered vaguely for a moment before falling back into torpor. Several phrases fell from his half opened mouth like a kind of catechism. "All failure is a lack of concentration. God never interferes in our lives. Energy can only go in one direction at a time", he said in a continuous mumble.

"You're not listening, are you?! Never did. I tried to...save you", he growled to no one. "It's all a little hey, hey...late, sport. Yes, endurance".

Flattening out on the damp sheets with a deep exhalation, Peeps knew these words to be so and that they were a test though difficult to apply. He recalled offering long ago in explanation to someone he could not remember, in understanding the true meaning of the first, you achieve the simplicity of the second and reveal the clarity of the third. The fourth provides the strength and flexibility to continue. Now as he tried to concentrate, he knew that he was alone.

Slipping ever deeper into exhaustion, Sam Peeps tried to gauge if he was awake, asleep or somewhere in between. At these moments, it seemed that Peeps could think clearly and that there was time in which to do so. In the last of his wakefulness, he saw that they were only sensations, the idea of thought much as vanishing pools of light.

Like his memories, they appeared in a fractional split within a second or were spread over hours in broken pieces. It was sometimes as if nothing had ever really existed. And now there was only him and him alone on a silently turning earth.

With a slight odd smile another peculiar statement came to him, as they often did. "In the sharp sun of midday and the deep drop of night, fallen angels, a false prophet and the Son of God".

Between the long days and a murky sleep that seemed to pull him down into an enveloping and sucking fold, recurring thoughts like troubling and formless insects continued to move and float through Peeps mind. A persistent theme that would rise up in this half-state, was of how Indian people of the Americas once believed that a human being could only truly exist when they found a place within their own society and thus the world.

If this was never found or was lost, one's soul would be forever adrift and slowly dissapear to the living like an echoes fading return or as a mere vapour fades in the sun. You would not even be a figure on the landscape. And then he was gone.


Under the early morning sun, against a sky of intense blue, a single vehicle drove towards the crest of a great and ruined bridge that was sprung between the docklands and downtown of a once rising city. High above, thin distant clouds drifted over an almost silent world. The lack of any wind or background noise allowed the slow sound of waves from the beachfront to be heard in the distance.

With a slow curving two mile run up from each end, the massive multi-lane gate led out to the west and beyond. The decaying arc of concrete, steel and tar that formed the bridge crossed a river that flowed through town to the sea. From its mid point, two enormous pylons stood high above the road surface.

The grime covered shafts more than doubled the height of the bridge, each one supporting two giant blistered cables that sweated and dripped a brown rusting drool. The heavily scarred cords followed the line of the structure and draped down to the spine of the arch, from where could be seen the whole of the city, which was almost a kilometer away. The sweeping bay was less than half that distance.

Across the river, the adjoining freeway cut through the stillness of corroding industrial areas and dead suburbs. Further into the clear distance were the mountains.

On many occasions he had thought about them and how to the eye they did not seem to change, appearing so separate from the uncontrollable slipping away of things. There was the impossible thought that if he focused intensely enough on their perfect and remote forms, everything would stop, remaining as it was. The distant peaks were unlike the metropolis, left to its relentless breakdown and decay.

Seeing how rapidly almost everything altered and yet nothing happened, gave the feeling of being in a vortex, where everything is breaking up and swallowed down. It seemed clear that whatever he did and however he held to anything, everything would still collapse and drain away, forcing him off-balance and dragged into the void.

Walking across the full width of the roadway, his gaze was drawn down to the movement of the water below as the twisting filth formed bent circles of grey. Light on his feet and of medium build, Peeps movements gave a startling sense of alertness and energy, though he appeared at times, curiously at ease in the emptiness. Sam Peeps was often a man in perpetual motion. Though when reposed, Peeps could seem so oddly at peace, that he virtually disappeared into the stillness around him.


In recurring dreams, Peeps saw himself as a single spinning top on a vast, cold and infinitely flat plain, and as he turned, it was as if he was being overwhelmed, then slowly crushed by a great weight. Those he had known pushed through a broken sleep in noiseless columns as he lay immobilized for hours that could turn into days. When he arose, he remembered them reflected in all that he could see and taste in the cool air.

Standing upon the giant span, the river pushing out beneath him, he felt his legs becoming lighter as his weight seemed to shift to his upper body. For several seconds he thought he would fall, turning over and down into the muddy rush. Jerking back from the railing with a snap, he returned to the vehicle where he sat on the hood with his back against the windscreen, his lone figure stretched out while absently fondling an automatic pistol.

Sliding the gun smoothly into a shoulder holster, he found its form comforting as it embraced his torso with an almost liquid, leather affection. From a pocket, he took out a worn black leather wallet and opened it, the sun glinting off the chrome of a small shield, bringing into sharp relief the digits of a serial number embossed on its metal face. His eye came to the number ten and his thoughts to how it had been that many years since the beginning of his solitude, as the light bent across the name Samuel Peeps.

With a rip of thin metal, he opened a container of bitter drink, a small breath hissing from the can, and he smiled his strange smile as he considered the possibilities of the day. At a distance, the shimmering urban expanse seemed almost alive. He lifted a pair of high-powered binoculars to his eyes.

"Ok", he said and as he blurted out "I can't save anybody!" and his arm knocked an unopened can that rolled off the vehicle and then dropped down onto to the asphalt. The cylinder punctured and began spraying liquid as it gained momentum, cracked against the concrete gutter and bounced onto the gantry running alongside the bridge, rising in the daylight.

Standing up, he pushed his open palms down hard and said sharply, "You can't control your environment, kid. You..." For a moment, he swayed a little, with his head held forward, twisted his shoulders from side to side, and breathed deeply. "Right. Wait".

Sliding into the open vehicle, Peeps turned the key and the engine growled as he closed the door with a soft upholstered thud. Moving smoothly into gear, he accelerated rapidly, making a whirling dust devil. The momentum and flow cleared the mind a little and he considered the ordinary in his extraordinary circumstance and the incredible in the commonplace. As the movement of cold air fell across his hot brow, he repeated a drum upon the steering wheel. Save the world. Save the world.

"The world? I couldn't save you", he said.

Roaring down onto the freeway straight, the drag of the vehicle violently stirred up the endless waste that was scattered over the bitumen and collected in thousands of melted drifts. Paper, dust, mud, flood waters and trillions of insect bodies, formed a putrid blackening goo in anything that acted as a catchment.

As Peeps vehicle climbed onto the elevated roadway, the sun reflected in shooting flashes off the lines of the skyscrapers on either side. On the nights that had no moonlight, even these great cold and empty forms disappeared into the vast ink.

General Patton's Total Victory Speech.

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