“We no longer debate people who don’t accept the scientific reality of anthropogenic climate change”. Greenpeace.
Clive: “Ladies and gentleman, a warm welcome for the star of 'I Was a Teenage Communist', it's the eternal ABC government employee and easily frightened, Phillip Adams! Oh come on Phil, say something urbane, witty and entirely bogus. Come on, say it”
Derek: “Oh thank you Clive. I’d like to do a little song about taxpayer funded and unchallenged jobs for life…”
Clive: “Take it away! Ladies and gentleman a big round of applause for the world’s oldest beatnik, Phil the shill!”
Derek [on piano]: “Here’s a little number called ABC.
A B C, mostly Left ideology.
As simple as a Left luvvie.
All P C, so phony.
Baby, ya want to scream…”
Clive: “Excellent. Really outstanding. Derek, did you know that the ABC are thinking of ways to spruce things up a bit with a novel and fresh approach, by doing something they’ve never done before?”
Derek: “The ABC is going to find someone even more incredibly boring, predictable, screwy and stale to replace Phillip Adams?”
Clive: “An enormous challenge, but no. The board got together in their taxpayer funded inner sanctum, and some wag proposed introducing the rather cutting edge idea of ethics. A radical idea, I grant you. There was a fear with this, that a public broadcaster could inadvertently broadcast the actual opinions of the public, which could lead to anarchy or even worse, uncontrolled freedom of speech”.
Derek [on piano]: “Come on Aunty’s just a load of shit.
Come on and bore me just a little bit.
I'm gonna teach you how to sling it out!
Come on, come on, come on, let me tell you what it's all about!
Preaching, lying, the arthritic!
‘Ere Clive, talking about the cutting edge. I heard that Ramona Koval on the book show. A real turn up for the books it was too. No. Ramona said you are what you read and she was bleeding right! Apparently Noam Chomsky is not getting enough exposure on the Left, and Ramona is going to er, help out. She can help me out with my Chompsky, if she likes!”
Clive: “Yes, the ABC has always been a risk taker. Only last week they had a John Pilger free week”.
Derek: “I heard they’ve stopped polishing the statues of Al Gore, Tim Flannery and Stalin in the foyer?”
Clive: “Derek, these are ugly rumours spread by the ungrateful people who don’t realise how well the ABC represents the average pleb, by employing smug, conceited, beyond belief untouchable University educated dullards, virtually tenured for life”.
Derek: “Ungrateful masses! Fuck ‘em all!”
Clive: “And at the ABC, SBS et al, they largely do. Noam Chomsky promoted on the ABC? There’s your ethics right there, Derek! Chumpsky wrote a book saying how wonderful the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot were. If anything, the Khmer Rouge were always at the cutting edge of Leftist ideology, hence the mass torture and executions.
And now the Chumper works almost exclusively in the high ethical standards of conspiracy theory. His current monument to the ethical, is in saying that 9/11 was an inside job directed by George Bush. And he’s achieved it all sans any empirical evidence that he’s willing to present to a court. Isn’t it nice of Ramona to give such a great guy a taxpayer funded helping hand?”
Derek: “She’s a saint and a hero of the Cambodian people!”
Clive: “Ethics, Derek, that's ethics. Apparently our own Clive Hamilton is also big on ethics. According to Andrew Bolt, Hamilton has been made Professor of Public Ethics at Charles Sturt University.
Derek: “Bolt gives me the horn! Funny though, Ramona doesn’t”.
Clive: “Yes, broadcasting is filled with the limp making. Old Hammy the hamster said and I quote, “Over the last 20 or 30 years . . . academics have been less willing to engage in public debate”. Meaning agree totally with a Leftard.
Later Lady Clive Hamilton said "I will not be contributing any further pieces to the site, [Online Opinion] because it has been captured by climate change denialists”. You know the denialists? There are the people who insist on valuing their democratic and scientific right to dissent from the howling and conformist mob. Thus, ordinary men and women can be discredited sans proof by equating them irrationally with Nazis.
In this way, you no longer have to prove anything and are untouchable and unreachable and probably making a lovely pile of cash out of the worlds biggest scam and gravy train in history. But that’s global socialism , er global warming for you”.
Derek: “Fucking staring into a glow ball warming, more like it”.
Clive: “Ham the man then said “I do not presume to engage in arguments about climate science because I do not have the expertise to do so without making a fool of myself.”
Derek: “Nuance. Check”.
Clive: “Of course. You are obviously hip to the scene, Derek”.
Derek: “I’m so hip, it fucking hurts!”
Clive: “Yes, and as Andy said in his lovely piece on the Hamilton:
“...as with other such preachers, this didn’t stop him, [Hamilton] from vilifying the “denialists” who disagreed with him as “loopy and deceptive”, the sort who’d accuse “the Royal Family (of) being in cahoots with global Jewry”.
Derek: “What if some of the skeptics are Jewish, as many scientists and intellectuals are? Isn’t that kind of absurdly and bizarrely outrageous?”
Clive: “This is probably part of the job description of a Professor of Ethics today, Derek.
Derek: “And of course he can name some of these er, “denialists” and link them to a belief in such a conspiracy?”
Clive: “Er, apparently not, Derek. It appears that Logical fallacy, the entirely bogus and the hatefully disingenuous are the Hambone’s thang, Derek”.
Derek: “Also, there’s also a lot of arseholes about”.
Clive: “Exactly, Derek. But there’s only so many vacancies at the ABC”.
Derek [on piano]: “Your education ain't complete!
Tea, tea, teacher's gonna show you!”
Clive: “Phil’s gonna bore you!”
Derek: “How to get some A! Nya, nya, nya, nyaaaaaagh!”
Clive: “I’d like to say good night on behalf of myself and patronizin' Punxsutawny Phil! Good night”.