Opening a dress by the Prime Sinister Mr Kevin Rudd.

While working as a Mandarin speaking diplomat and popular towel boy in Shanghai, Kevin Rudd, shown here in an official photo taken at a welcoming dinner and denunciation, [which for no coincidence whatsoever looks identical to Mao] was a natural at blending into the local Cultural Revolution. "Power comes out of the barrel of laughs", is one of Kevin's famous quotes.


[Dear sports, here’s a modified request of the week from Friday 12 October 2007.]


Kevin's speech in full to The Old Goebellians co-written with his half-brother Malcolm:

"Let me begin by saying cliche's and without any fear of clarity that this is a moment, even the moment and indeed if anyone can, let me say this quite clearly and at this point in time. I believe that this opportunity, in both the long-term and very recent tradition of what we have here today, will make it possible for all Australians to see the policies we have managed to avoid, not only through my own lack of judgement but that of my colleagues.

Instead, we have bravely opted for controlling every aspect of your lives while taxing you heavily to pay for it.

I know we all endorse none of these values fully as a community, and of course I accept without hesitation, none of the calls for my own resignation and subsequent suicide.

I can say that with non-partisanship, I can stand for absolutely anything, while drawing a responsible line at the substantial or permanent. Unless I'm spouting my enemies list of dissenters in my beyond belief Hitlerian style.

And in this spirit of welcome and neither forgetting nor remembering anything in particular, I feel as do many, regards an essential inclusiveness without any idea of what we actually stand for whatsoever and therefore, into a bright and even better future. This is really what my policies and the Australian Labour Party stands for. The U.N.

I believe that as the Leader of the U.N, er, the Labour Party, I have presented a fresh and smiling face, while underneath is the consistency and reliability that only a seething control freak can deliver.

I believe everyone from the very large, the economy sized or indeed at the cell level, now realises that due to the shelving we have put in place over the recent period of upstrangling and subsequent rigorous focusing, which have at times been difficult even while awake, means that we can now all share in the bounty of those who have actually made some productive effort.

In the same vein and following on from the latter, it’s quite clear that the direction of the non partisan and non judgemental has proven completely ineffective and can only get better. This has resulted in a more exciting, vibrant and diverse orthodoxy that promises to efficiently deliver an outcome and our own security and cultural disintegration. This I believe shows that we are almost at the end of the tunnel and if we all work together for a common goal, we will indeed. This only stands to reason, as many of you here and now are aware through no experience of my own.

It is for this reaason that I have strictly forbidden words like flawed, appalling, control freak or serial liar.

So, let me again reinforce my very strong position on completely changing my beliefs if indeed that’s fully acceptable in the current ethos of co-operation. The total loss of unnecessary confidence is fully endorsed by me and my Shadowy Cabinet, which is a great leap, yet only one leap of many towards our own and indeed the entire countries experimental something and should be applauded.

In closing, I believe deeply that if this is anything, it’s indeed something. And that’s something that I have never spoken about. I believe in not only planning for the past but learning from the sometimes hard lessons of the future, and in this way we can avoid the present.

Thank you and good luck". PM Kevin Rudd.