Monday, 11 February 2008

A wise guy has gotta dream and the small hopes of a scorpion.

Michael Douglas awoke after a coma induced by plastic surgery that makes him "look like an accident in a saddle factory" and had an epiphany:

"This is the kind of American that is almost never shown in either the MSM or Hollywood films! I never realised that I was just a deluded and repellent Liberal moonbat. God, I'm soooo sorry... Forgive me! The troops are so real and noble that they make us appear as the Hollywood boobs and venal wastes of time that we are. Myself, I blame the massive amounts of drugs and prostitutes".

Jane Fonda, moved rofoundly by Mike's contrition, said "In 1970, as a rich, privileged white woman, I risked missing several great Bel Air pool party's and a ménage a trois, to support the cuddly Comrades and mass killers of the Viet Cong. My home country has given me everything I have and now it's time to do something for America. From now on it's 'Washington Jane!"

"I would think that if you understood what Communism was, you would hope, you would pray on your knees, that we would someday become communists." Jane Fonda.

“That’s life, and funny as it seems, some people get their kicks just stompin’ on a dream”. Frank Sinatra.

Sure, I have dreams too. Humble, simple dreams but they’re mine. Of course I’d like to put the entire North Korean Regime into an atom smasher, thus freeing the world’s largest George Orwell theme park. Freeing millions of children and their parent's from around seventy years of 24 hour Communist indoctrination, torture, starvation and murder. Then I'll tell jokes on Kim Ill Sung's grave.

If you feel like becoming enraged, read 'This is Paradise!: My North Korean Childhood' by Hyok Kang. Published by Little Brown, 2005. Or try 'Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag' by Kang Chol-Hwan and Pierre Rigoulot, Basic Books 2001. Then consider 'why is North Korea so totally unfashionable as a cause with the Left or virtually anybody? Hmmmm?'

Sure, I’d like to make Iran’s child killer King Armachimphead, and his "Filth of Islam" Theocracy dive from 10,000 feet into an ordinary glass of water, twice. Thus freeing Iran from a classic pervert torturer and mass killer Islamist regime. Sure, I’d like to cut off the top ten floors off the UN building while every cannibal gangster, Jew hating Islamist Freak Theocracy and Communist Dictatorship's in session.

Sure, I’d love to see all the Hollywood fans of Fidel and of Hugo Chavez, a sort of Che the child killer Guevara Junior, all finally live the dreams that they lend their avid apologist support to and move permanently to Cuba and Venezuela.

I know that Kevin ‘Any more firing squads on TV, Fidel?’ Spacey, Naomi ‘Can I blow you now Fidel?’ Campbell, Sean ‘Liberal Hair Shirt of Treason’ Penn, Carlos ‘the Jackal’ Santana and Harry’ Lord Ha Ha’ Belafonte ad nauseum are 100% sincere. Bon Voyage rich movie stars and ‘Brave Heroes of the Proletariat!'

Sure, I’d love to see the taxpayer funding mostly pulled from the ABC and SBS, because everyone knows that people will pay voluntarily for such wonderful diversity and impeccably high journalistic standards. Man, if it wasn’t for Kerry O’Brien and the 7:30 Report and their many outstanding tributes to Noam Chomsky, Al Gore and Charles Manson, I wouldn’t know what was happening in the world. Thanks Aunty.

I’ve kept my dreams alive, damn it! And I won’t betray them by getting too old to also help the dreams of celebrities like Jane Fonda to come true. Before I die, I’m gonna find Jane a really nice revolutionary Hell hole based on the random control freak whims of mass murdering Marxists Communists. Flee from Bel Air and live your dreams Jane! Reject the Bush/Cheney Fascist state!

Or maybe just take Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins for a long drive. The desert is a lonely place, kids! 'In response to an interview with wife Susan's Republican mother, pacifist Tim Robbins responded, "If you ever write about my family again, I will fucking find you and I will fucking hurt you".

'Sarandon called on those present to pressure the Democrats in Congress to oppose Bush. "There are some people still functioning in the government," said Sarandon. "We must support them, particularly (West Virginia Democratic Senator and former member of the KKK) Robert Byrd".

Colonel Neville: Sure, I’d like nothing better than the total collapse of the 95% percent mediocrity and bunk of the MSM, who wouldn’t? But there’s no need to rush. I say to the entire Editorial staff of 'The Age’ newspaper to take time and reflect, make a martini. Then submit your resignations followed by your subsequent suicides.

I have other dreams, such as more than five out of every 100 films not being a Hollywood Liberal asshat, 90 minute time destroyer, and that I can get a time refund. I have dreams and you’re not gonna stomp on ‘em! How do I keep my dreams alive? Well, I can thank my Uncle Angelo for it. When I was little, he used to say to me, while he packed away his break down carbine into a tailor made kid leather briefcase, “Bobby, never let anybody disrespect your dreams. If they do, kill them and wrap them in carpet. I know a nice place. Just call me”.

Sure, Uncle Joe had regrets, of course he did. “I never got a chance to whack that fat venal hypocrite lying manipulative Fidel sucking roasting pig, Michael Moore, and it pains me, Bobby, it pains me. Sometimes I lay awake at night thinkin’, maybe just kill Penn? But the Hollywood Blimp? It would have been something, eh? That freakin’ con man rollin’ in a corn field squealin’ like an Oscar winner. Or Rob Reiner!"'When asked whether the Iraqi people were better off without Saddam, Penn replied: "Who the blank are we to say whether they're better off? We have a dictatorship in this country. Our government is presently the greatest threat to our people." Penn went on to say, "Unlike George W. Bush, I had a father who read the Constitution of the United States."

Uncle Angelo: Now why the Hell can’t I knock off everyone in Greenpeace and half a the Oscar audience?! People are way too sentimental.

But then, I realise I’ve got to keep things in perspective. There's still plenty a celebrities. Rosie O’Donnell, Roseanne Barr… Man, I can’t keep track of ‘em. Sometimes all that kept me goin’ was thinkin’ about wipin’ out the entire View panel, dumpin’ Jon Stewarts body in the Hudson river, stranglin’ most MSM journalists, wasting the school board of Berkley and all the other convicted rapist, terrorist, Islamist scumbag Leftist radical sex pervert's on every second campus and so on. I had to hold onto these dreams, do you understand?

Sometimes the only way I could sleep was shootin’ at Robert Redford’s script for the Murder Cycle Diaries. That dumb ungrateful neo-Commie creep Redford and his Che the child killer propaganda. Makes me wanna puke!

Bobby, I’m ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I just get one disgusting two faced, public sucking, privileged fake rebel, mass murdering, Commie bastard loving coke sucking traitor and venal liar, and blammo! Another one comes into view like a swarm of ‘effing gnats, but with less to say. It pains me, Bobby. It pains me. Set up those Chevy Chase, Ed Asner and George Clooney targets will ya? And Bobby, if you don’t live your dreams, I’m gonna kill you, everyone you know and all your pets. Hey. I’m just kiddin’!”'In the wake of Charlton Heston's recent Alzheimer’s diagnosis George Clooney said this: "I don't care. Charlton Heston is the head of the National Rifle Association; he deserves whatever anyone says about him."

"I pray that this [UN] council, which will probably be too late to save Iraq, will do what it can, which will be immeasurably strong in what it does in trying to save our democracy."
Ed Asner.

When Pat Buchanan noted that Castro "has denied" Cubans "free elections for 40 years," Asner fired back: "We didn't have a free election in 2002!"

Colonel Neville: Hey, but that’s Uncle Joe for ya, a real kidder like his nephew! Damn, I’m gonna live my dreams and I could one day whack most deluded cartoon minded pop stars maybe, or just put Michael Leunig in a trunk full of squirrels. There’s so many movie contracts too! The Sheen’s, with Charlie ‘9/11 is an inside job’ Sheen. And the freakishly parodic Leftard Alec “Do I make any more sense on coke?’ Baldwin."They voted on one article of impeachment already. And I come back from Africa to stained dresses and cigars and this and impeachment. I am thinking to myself, in other countries they are laughing at us 24 hours a day and I'm thinking to myself, if we were in other countries, we would all right now, all of us together, all of us together would go down to Washington and we would stone [Conservative Congressman] Henry Hyde to death!

We would stone him to death! We would stone Henry Hyde to death and we would go to their homes and we'd kill their wives and their children. We would kill their families. What is happening in this country? What is happening? UGHHH!"
Alec Baldwin.

Colonel Neville: Then there’s Barbra ‘Not a film worth a damn since around 1966’ Streisand. So many monstrous Tinsel Town phonies, so little time. Hey, but maybe it’ll never happen, because that Vast Right Wing Conspiracy the Left drivels about relentlessly, sure is taking a long time to get here."Republican control of the House has resulted in poison in the water, salmonella in the food, carbon dioxide in the air and toxic waste in the ground."
Barbra Streisand.

Uncle Angelo: “Hey Bobby. See what I mean? Ya could get confused with so many heroes of the mentally ill Left actually supportin’ in stinkin’ word and deed, actual mass murdering Totalitarians scumbags. That’s why I retired. It’s too big, too deep and far too ugly, and the way it's so traded out in the open like dat? It's too much for even ya old Uncle Angelo to stomach. But hey, hold onto your dreams kid”.

Source for swingin' Hollywood loon quotes.

1 comment:

Mad said...

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